Struggling with fear, guilt, and identity as a Christian; seeking help.

religion doubts

i am a christian. i am constantly terrified of offending God and going to hell. i love God so much but this so scary. i feel like a really bad person. i have to pray in specific ways at specific times of the day in a specific order and sometimes it feels like a chore. i feel so bad about this. the reason i became a christian in the first place was mostly out of fear. i feel so bad admitting all of this but i really need help. i wanna continue being a christian i think but it’s all so scary and stressful. praying has become a compulsion, i feel like a terrible person with every sin, and it’s so exhausting. also, i’m a lesbian and i’m so scared God will send me to hell for that. i can’t change my identity. i’ve tried, but i just can’t like boys. i’m so scared and sad and terrified and stressed. i have no clue what to do.

Username: Brian__Brian__

Date posted: 10w ago

I’m sorry your going through this I go through ROCD to and it’s horrible, just remember though that Jesus knows that these thoughts are unwanted and that the reason you became a Christian does not matter to him, he’ll love you no matter what and as far as you being lesbian goes don’t worry about it, I highly doubt god sends people to hell for being gay, especially since he knows gay people can’t help it, know that god loves you and it’s completely normal to sin and that everyone does it and that no one is perfect, I know it’s hard but trust me it’s gonna be ok

Username: katiscoolkatiscool

Date posted: 9w ago

@Brian__ thank you 💕💕

Username: "Fear not for I am with you" -Isaiah 41:10"Fear not fo...

Date posted: 9w ago

I am so sorry you go through this sister. I have Religious OCD to and it is very tough; and I'm sorry that you feel that you became a Christian out of fear, Christianity is about God's love for us and our love for him and our love for others ; [16] “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. -John 3:16. And [19] We love because he first loved us. -1 John 4:19 and [11] Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. - 1 John 4:11. And as far as you being a lesbian goes I don't want to offend or discourage or push you away from God; there is the sin aspect to it which I want to emphasize I can relate too. I've had more than my fair share of sexual sin on my part, that Jesus washes away with his blood; now I am not condoning being a lesbian but I'm not condemning you either. I am really sorry that you have this struggle within you and are afraid of being sent to hell; God Loves you unconditionally and cares more deeply for you than anyone and he doesn't want you to pray as if it's a chore but to just Love him and have a relationship with him. And Jesus died on the cross for all of our sin to save us from hell BECAUSE he Loves us. And this is a very hard thing to do no doubt I'm not saying it is but if you cant be attracted to the opposite sex than I would strongly suggest to have Spiritual intimacy with God instead of physical intimacy with someone you weren't made to have physical intimacy with, I know this is hard and I'm sorry it's no easy task but I pray that you can have Peace, Love, Joy, and Comfort in Christ Jesus and I hope you remember that Jesus Loves you and cares for you. I will pray for you sister and I hope that this verse comes to pass. Philippians 4:7 ESV [7] And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. https://bible.com/bible/59/php.4.7.ESV ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Username: natalie m natalie m

Date posted: 9w ago

OCD is such a horrible disorder. I’m so sorry that’s something that you have to go through. I grew up in a Catholic household and came out to my mom when I was 20 I promise you there’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian or identifying in any other way, that isn’t “”normal. /what the Bible says. At times, I struggle with internalized homophobia similar to you and it is scary and it’s frustrating but I promise there’s nothing wrong with you and you’re loved no matter what your identity is by God And despite what some Christian say, you can still believe in God and pray and attend church and be a lesbian or be gay, and still be accepted by God .

Username: katiscoolkatiscool

Date posted: 9w ago

@natalie m thank you 💕💕 you’re so sweet. it’s sometimes hard to believe that love this pure could be a sin. i’ve been told its wrong by many people and it’s hard. i came out at around 10 or 11 (ik i was young, i was outed) and my family has always supported me but sometimes it’s just hard to support myself.

Username: natalie m natalie m

Date posted: 9w ago

@katiscool No like I understand I am so sorry. It really is because at least with my ocd if someone tells Me it’s wrong I have to do compulsions to get rid of the unwanted thoughts. I am hopeful for you that things will get better! Keep faith and stay positive

Username: "Fear not for I am with you" -Isaiah 41:10"Fear not fo...

Date posted: 9w ago

It is incredible true that we are Loved by God no matter what, but we still need to be repentant for our sins and do our best to resist the flesh instead of gratifying it; God of course gave us sex for marriage to both procreate but also for pleasure too but our flesh just wants to lust and have instant gratification; we are all born with those desires to have Physical intimacy but our flesh distorts that and just because people are born gay doesn't mean that that is what they are supposed to actually be; and I'm sorry I don't want this to sound bad or shaming; I have a really hard time with lust and resisting the flesh alot of the time just like a lot of people. And Yes Jesus did die for us and forgive our sins because we can't Be forgiven or Stop these unhealthy desires on our own, that is the whole point of Jesus and what he did for us. I pray that Jesus can transform us all to his image and and help us in the ways that we are weak. Like in 2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV [9] But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. https://bible.com/bible/59/2co.12.9.ESV And again this is NOT to condemn because [1] There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. - Romans 8:1 ESV but we should do our very best to not willfully sin and not abuse Jesus grace because he has done so very much for us and has loved us before the earth was even formed.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Username: katiscoolkatiscool

Date posted: 9w ago

@"Fear not for I am with you" -Isaiah 41:10 it’s hard. really hard. and it’s hard to believe that just pure love is somehow bad. i’m just a kid. i’m upset and worried and idk what to do. i love my girlfriend and its hard to believe that my love is not good.

Username: anotherocd123

Date posted: 5y ago

Please help! I’m so scared right now. I have have HOCD for the last 7 years and I got so scared that I might be lesbian. And then when I started looking up pictures of girls I felt groinal urges and I listened to them and I liked it. I am scared that I am gay. But what terrifies me even more is that I acted on HOCD and I’m scared I might act on my harm OCD in the future. I’m terrified and I want to curl up in a ball and cry. Also I don’t want to be gay because I’m religious, but I’m worried I convinced myself I’m gay but idek.

Username: hannie

Date posted: 3y ago

Does anyone else get intrusive thoughts while praying or thinking of God? It has been stressing me out so bad. I feel like I’m a bad Christian or somethings wrong with me cause sometimes I get flooded with intrusive thoughts when I try to focus my time on God.

Username: JesusSaves424

Date posted: 1y ago

Anxiety is bad today

I love my boyfriend so much. I am so afraid to get married though because of my OCD. A year ago I was fine and excited to eventually get married, but now it seems super nerve-wracking, and impossible, to me. I am a Christian and I have struggled with a lot of sexual sin in the past, before me and him started dating, but it eats me alive and I feel like if we do get married I have to confess all of it to him and that if I don’t I’m being dishonest and it’s horrifying. I know that nothing I ever struggled with was really that bad, I’m not going to get into that but he pretty much already knows the worst of it, but even when I have opened up to him I just feel like it’s not enough. My intrusive thoughts tell me that if I don’t tell him *everything* I’ve ever struggled with that I’m terrible, dishonest, a bad person, a hypocrite, a liar, that one day things will completely implode, that I’m destroying our relationship even though it’s completely healthy and he’s SO good to me, etc. I hate feeling this way. I want to marry this man, but it has become so terrifying to me. I feel like I absolutely do not deserve him and that I’m too awful and damaged for him. Me and him are long-distance and I’m even scared to meet him, to kiss him, etc. because I’m terrified of these fears coming up when I do. When I picture myself in 5-10 years being potentially married with kids, that thought in itself doesn’t give me anxiety, and in the grand scheme of things I can picture myself moving on from this anxiety, but at the same time in the present moment I feel like I’ll never move past this. I think this may be a form of ROCD and/or scrupulosity. I hate it I hate it I hate it. Does anybody else feel this way? Any other Christians who maybe relate?

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