Need for Certainty

I need tips on how to really accept the uncertainty the ocd causes, even if it feels so bad like I might get in trouble for something , do I wanna be okay with that?

Hi All, just wondering if anyone here has any tips with dealing with uncertainty? My OCD centres on my being worried that I have committed a crime and can’t remember doing so, I was out last weekend and my mind is telling me I attacked somebody as I got an intrusive thought to do so when passing them in a bar, my therapist says I need to sit with the uncertainty that maybe I did and maybe I didn’t and have to be ok with that But if the answer is yes then how can I be ok with committing a crime and going to jail??, it’s affecting my relationship and I’m going on holiday on Friday and I’m worried it will ruin that, any tips would be greatly appreciated.

I genuinely can't help but feel irredeemable over every little mistake made or regret I've had. It's so up and down, but I just miss the certainty. Knowing "this is who I am." I'm so disconnected from myself. Like, I'm really, really trying. Today is really rough... I got triggered the other night, and it's been hell since. I've been fighting seeking reassurance. I want it so, so incredibly bad, but I know it won't help me :( Some days, I just don't want to be here. It's funny because yesterday I felt amazing until I got triggered. I just immediately spiraled after that. I don't know. Does it genuinely get better? Will therapy really help me? Sometimes, I think maybe this is the best it'll get, and that scares me. Sorry for the vent. I'm just feeling so overwhelmingly anxious right now. I can't even cry (due to Zoloft). It feels claustrophobic somehow, having all these emotions trapped inside of my body with nowhere to go 😭