Username: Lexi girl

Date posted: 11w ago

I need help

I struggle with self harm and depression. I told my doctor a week ago that I have suicidal thoughts and she put me on an anxiety/depression med and she said it could make things better or worse. I have noticed I barely eat anything anymore and I started to self harm more. I go through my day struggling and I’ve lost my friends and I stay in my room 24/7. I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. People say “oh it’ll get better” or “you’ll overcome it” or “don’t worry it’ll be okay” but guess what it’s not true. I feel like no one gets me or no one will listen to me. No one understands the pain I go through every second of the day trying my hardest to put on a fake smile. I can’t do it anymore. I want it to stop.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11w ago

You’re needed here 🫶 as hard as it is to believe, this will pass

Username: Lexi girlLexi girl

Date posted: 11w ago

@Anonymous Thank you🤍

Username: Who_knows?Who_knows?

Date posted: 11w ago

If anyone were to understand it’s everyone in this community !! There’s so many people that have been in your shoes it will pass even if it doesn’t feel like it ! Tough times don’t last forever ! You can do this !

Username: Lexi girlLexi girl

Date posted: 11w ago

@Who_knows? Thank you so much. I hope it passes but I’ve been dealing with this for 4 years I’m only 15 and it doesn’t seem like it’s going away anytime soon.

Username: Who_knows?Who_knows?

Date posted: 10w ago

@Lexi girl 1 day at a time , push for another 4 , and another after that and watch this time just be a thing in the past !

Username: Lexi girlLexi girl

Date posted: 10w ago

@Who_knows? Thank you so much. This really means a lot

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 11w ago

The sad thing is, that a lot of people don't want to deal with people who suffer from mental health issues. Maybe for fear of also developing one, or because they are only interested in the good things in life. I lost most of my friends during, or in the aftermath of a severe and long lasting mental break down. I was really upset and disappointed about it, but to be honest, I don't miss any of them, as they had never deserved my friendship and support in the first place. I made new friends, some I even met at one of my lowest points in life. I told my mother about him and how he supported me and she wondered why he did all that for me. I asked him the same question and he simply said - "Because we are friends and that's part of being friends." So in a nutshell, people who drop a friend who is suffering are not worth your time anyway. And even, if you feel all alone at the moment, you have this community that is full of people from all around the world, that know what you are going through right now and that are here for you, if you need to talk.

Username: Lexi girlLexi girl

Date posted: 10w ago

@Zoë_84 Thank you. I’ve been through the exact same thing and it’s tough but I’m gonna try to just keep pushing through. Hopefully this whole thing will just blow over

Username: Brett VBrett V

Date posted: 11w ago

I promise you are not alone. I’m typing this just after coming out of one of the more vicious thought spirals I have experienced in my life. Mind you I was recently prescribed Fluoxetine for Harm OCD and severe depression, it has proved rather ineffective at this point in my treatment. Like you, I’m still early in my treatment with medication, but the thoughts were definitely unbearable just shy of an hour ago. Please don’t lose hope though, this community is with you.

Username: Lexi girlLexi girl

Date posted: 10w ago

@Brett V Thank you. It means the world to know this community is with me and is here to help me through it

Username: Who_knows?Who_knows?

Date posted: 10w ago

@Brett V I have the same exact theme as you ! Never had this before I am 30 and scared outta my life . My brain likes to confuse me and I’m dying inside to get it to all stop 😫 but we’ve gotta keep pushing !!!

Username: Brett VBrett V

Date posted: 10w ago

@Who_knows? I have never had this before and I’m 32. Like you I’m equally terrified, but like you said, we have to keep pushing forward.

Username: Who_knows?Who_knows?

Date posted: 10w ago

@Brett V What has seemed to help you ? I have good days and I have bad days and feel like if I don’t wanna do anything one day my brain tells me I’m depressed then when I am sad I feel like the thoughts bombard me and tell me this won’t ever stop and the suicidal ocd kicks in and gives me so much anxiety !

Username: Brett VBrett V

Date posted: 10w ago

@Who_knows? To be honest I’m still struggling to find a method that does help. I’m like you though on my bad days, I swear I will never get better and the suicidal ocd kicks in as well. Exposing myself to the fear has honestly proven slightly effective, I just don’t have the proper tools yet to feel 100% comfortable with it.

Username: Who_knows?Who_knows?

Date posted: 10w ago

@Brett V Are you also scared of depression ?

Username: Brett VBrett V

Date posted: 10w ago

@Who_knows? It’s terrifying. The scariest part of all of it for me is how fast depression sinks its teeth. It almost seems like overnight my life was flipped upside down.

Username: Who_knows?Who_knows?

Date posted: 10w ago

@Brett V Same !! Were you diagnosed with ocd? Have you ever had ocd before ?

Username: Brett VBrett V

Date posted: 10w ago

@Who_knows? I was diagnosed, and immediately prescribed fluoxetine for my ocd, and severe depression. I’ve never had the “Harm” theme before, but I do remember having some obsessive thoughts as a teenager.

Username: Brett VBrett V

Date posted: 10w ago

@Brett V Having the harmful thoughts is when I knew I had a serious problem and needed to get myself to a psychiatrist.

Username: Who_knows?Who_knows?

Date posted: 10w ago

@Brett V I want to go but I’m too scared to get on medication . That’s the medicine I have and was prescribed by my primary but I’m just too scared to take it . Oh so you have severe depression ? Is this just because of the theme or a thing you’ve dealt with before ? I haven’t been diagnosed with ocd this all started last may when I was freaking out over a heart attack and drinking alcohol and I ended up having a panic attack and randomly got an image in my head of harming myself and it sent me into a panic and I seeked help and one therapist wanted to 51/50 me and told me to hide my knives and it made my stomach sink , then I switched and my other therapist said she doesn’t think I have ocd because people with ocd think that if they don’t do a certain thing than someone will die , and thought that my suicidal ocd was actual ideations and they were passive . So I dropped her cause clearly she didn’t understand intrusive thoughts ! I DO NOT want these thoughts . I even told her I don’t wanna think like this and idk why I am and she was obviously not educated on intrusive thoughts and was just trying to gain money idk . If you don’t mind me asking are you in Cali ? I’m in Cali .

Username: Brett VBrett V

Date posted: 10w ago

@Who_knows? I’m in Indiana. I’m no psychiatrist but if the thoughts are constant and unwanted sure sounds like OCD to me. If you are doing things in your mind to get rid of them in a panic that is a compulsion, it is just internal and not visible to the outside world. Which I’m almost positive you are because you have stated how much you can’t stand the thoughts. My depression spiraled out of control when the Harm thoughts began for sure, the shame, and disgust have taken me to a bad place. I would also recommend trying the Fluoxetine, I know just how scary, and uncertain everything is right now, but we must become okay with uncertainty to get a grip on this thing.

Username: Who_knows?Who_knows?

Date posted: 10w ago

@Brett V I’m just scared of taking the medication , I’m trying to do natural ways , I’m going tomorrow to check my hormones so I’m hoping I’ll have answers because I’ve never had a problem like this before . But if not then I guess going to a psychiatrist may be beneficial

Username: Brett VBrett V

Date posted: 10w ago

@Who_knows? I tried the natural way myself for a little while until the thoughts started targeting my child. That is when I said enough is enough, I need professional help.

Username: Who_knows?Who_knows?

Date posted: 10w ago

@Brett V Totally understandable !! I would have done the same thing ! I appreciate you chatting with me , it means alot ! If you wanna continue to talk on here (cause I don’t think the app allows you to talk outside of here ) I’m always available . ☺️

Username: Brett VBrett V

Date posted: 10w ago

@Who_knows? I’m always here as well! 😊

Username: bsbsbdnsnsn

Date posted: 23w ago

living (vent)

im just living day by day. i’ve stopped doing the things i used to like doing because i don’t want to ruin them. i dont want my favourite music, movies, shows and hobbies to be tainted with anxiety and my own thoughts. im a shell of who i used to be and if i had the choice i’d do nothing. at this point i’m living to cover up my emotions. its even harder because i’m not actually diagnosed since i dont think i could handle telling my parents about what’s wrong with me. i have a lot of the symptoms and i’ve had them since i was quite young (16 now) and it just hasn’t been getting better, im just better at hiding it now. i dont want to bother my boyfriend or parents with my issues so i have to deal with everything myself. i don’t find anything fun anymore and i want to die, i have nothing to live for and i quite simply want it to end. i always think it can’t get worse but i fall deeper into my sadness and me saying i’m alright to people is a lie. i feel so incredibly trapped i don’t know what to do with myself anymore.

Username: healingheart

Date posted: 21w ago

i feel so low.tw:talk of sh and suicidal thoughts

i can’t take care of myself anymore. i’m sleeping with no bedsheets, no pillow and no blankets. it’s so hard to do anything. i can’t shower, i can barely eat, i can’t brush my teeth. i want to self harm so bad right now, i just want to end it all honestly. i feel like i was doomed from the start. my own mother says i should just kill myself. i don’t know what to do at this point. i can’t accept help because i can’t have anyone near me. i feel hopeless. i know this is temporary but, i don’t know. i feel like a child who needs to be guided, i just want someone to hold my hand and help me, but my mother hears my cries for help and ignores me. i’m an adult, there’s no one here to save me, no one to guide me. all i have is myself but, im no good.

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 10w ago

Pocd//Suicide//depression

So I and my mom got into this big fight yesterday and I said some things I didn't mean to say to her and she said some things and I know what I said was bad but what she said cut deep in me because Even though what I said to her wasn't good her words hurt because going through wat om going through rn is honestly the worst thing a human can go through my worries and fears now all of a sudden now become feeling of Suicide and self-harm and honestly she's right because at this point I'm at a dead end and there's no going back I didn't tell her what was actually going on with me because I know she will never look at me the same and growing up with parents that are Gen x back in the day mental illness is a fucking joke to them apparently and is not taken seriously not all of them are like this but I know a few now I've been thinking about offing myself I don't think I'm gonna make it I'm really struggling.

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