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I am sooo unbelievably sorry to hear this! You do not at all deserve for her to say these terrible things to you! You deserve sooooo much better! You deserve so much kindness and grace! Please remember even while you struggle with OCD you are still an amazing person inside and outside! often times I have thoughts of I am ruining things because of my ocd and you deserve grace!

It isn’t fair, this is a truly debilitating disorder. My mother has BPD as well, and I know it is very difficult to handle sometimes. I wish your mother could understand it isn’t your fault. OCD makes normal desire for safety, stability, etc. go into paradoxical overdrive. I understand the deep desire to be like other people, but just because we have this disorder, doesn’t mean we can’t still live fulfilling lives. You clearly love your family very much, I’m sorry your OCD tries to take that from you, you don’t deserve that. You’re not weak, not at all. Many people do not understand how much strength it takes to fight OCD, but you are doing the best that you can just to stay here and keep living. Don’t give up. It may always be there in some way, but it will always get better, and you will be glad to have waited for a brighter day.

Yup ! You are definitely NOT weak ! Just experienced that feeling of not wanting to be alone with my thoughts . I got my laptop and did some work until I felt tired . I woke up the next morning saying to Myself “what am I doing , don’t distract yourself , allow your self to feel all of the feelings “ it sucks I know ! And having your mother not being supportive must be beyond tough. I’m not sure how old You are but this is time in your life that you accept that your mom is human with her life struggles . Get the treatment you need and focus on your healing. Sounds easier said but I know but you can