[Deleted]
- Date posted
- 28d
ROCDmenschROCDmensch
- Date posted
- 28d
Hey, I totally get this feeling and it sucks. But the best thing to do is to do nothing. Don't ask for reassurance, don't message her again, don't check if she has answered every five minutes. Regard these fears as background noise and go on with your day. Build resilience by resisting urges and at the same time getting comfortable with uncomfortable feelings. The less you give into OCD the less power it will have and you. Also it's important to have unconditional self acceptance which means that you try to accept who you are as a person no matter what and even if you friend dislikes you or has an issue it's not your issue. Shifting black and white attitudes towards yourself will change your people pleasing tendencies. For me it helped to rephrase expectations. Pinterest has some great affirmations for people pleasers. Write down something that speaks to you. For example for me it is "I can be my true self" "I don't have to please everyone" "I can make mistakes" etc and pin these affirmations somewhere where you can read them (even better if out loud) :)
fruitbat42069fruitbat42069
- Date posted
- 28d
Can confirm, doing these things has helped me a lot. Sitting with the feeling of discomfort is important, and the affirmations do eventually start to make sense because you'll begin to tolerate those uncomfortable feelings for longer and longer and then eventually not even get them anymore because you trust in the people you choose to be real with you and you trust yourself to deal with a confluct when it arises, rather than trying to anticipate every possible "bad" thing.
ROCDmenschROCDmensch
- Date posted
- 28d
@lysbabyss You don't have to figure out whether you did something wrong or not. It's not your responsibility right now. Don't argue with OCD. Write down "stop! I won't argue with you about this anymore" say this out loud and then do an exercise to reset your brain. For example you could count backwards in a certain rhythm, say the alphabet backwards, also breathing is very important, breath in on 5 and out on 7 (or different numbers, it's important that the exhale is longer) --> this activates your parasympathic system. Right now your sympathetic system which is there for threats is activated and high. You need to balance it and get your parasympathicus working because that's for relaxation.
fruitbat42069fruitbat42069
- Date posted
- 24d
@lysbabyss I relate. I used to do things like that a lot. Its a compulsion and doing the compulsion ALWAYS makes you more anxious, as opposed to if you were to sit with the discomfort of not knowing and take steps towards self-affirmation
ROCDmenschROCDmensch
- Date posted
- 21d
@lysbabyss Maybe instead of asking yourself what you did wrong ask yourself what you can do for yourself and whether you want to attain a friendship like that
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