- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
First off, I’m sorry you’re going through this. You did the right thing by telling her and distancing yourself from them. Does the guy still harass you? Does he go to your place? Can you get a restraining order? even report if he threatened you. As for the woman, if she comes back I’d tell her (with the door closed) “why bother come here since you clearly sided with the guy and chose him over our friendship/mutual trust. I’m really hurt by it and I need to be alone. Please leave”
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for your kind words bless you. I called the police, the police came and I have a statement and they advised me to call 999 if he turned up again, or update them if any more happened. I have nothing to do with him, I was petrified. I’ve only lived on my own for one year, it has made me very ill in the head, but I’m worried if I text her and say don’t come ever again etc because that situation made me ill I am worried other people will then be told that. But I don’t want anything to do with her, as far as I was concerned our friendship was over then and there. Xx
- Date posted
- 6y
Lots of hugs ? I wouldn’t worry about her for now. I’d tell her if she shows up again. The way she’s making you feel is not good, you need to be surrounded by supportive friends. Living on your own is hard, you’re doing great. You’re worried that others would know you get sick? You’re a human being, as much as it sucks to feel sick it’s okay. You’re always welcome here to talk. Do you feel sick all the time? If so I would suggest seeing a therapist. Maybe you have PTSD from your experience? I have that from my attack. :(
- Date posted
- 6y
The paranoia I have is because of the guy, he truly made me feel so ill. I had a boyfriend who was very abusive physically and mentally before and even that didn’t make me as bad as what something as small as this has ?. I have problems with my mood too, like very extreme mood swings (I think I mentioned that on a previous post) and I’m seeing a mental health team to get a diagnosis hopefully. I have had a lot of therapy before but it hasn’t really helped that much. The paranoia which that idiot has set off has made me believe I’m going to go to prison, someone is listening to my phone calls, checking to see if houses down my road windows are closed because I believed they could hear inside my house, so frustrated and so disappointed that I have let some nasty piece of work do that to me ?. I’m sorry you have PTSD I have heard a lot about that, it must be awful for you ? I’m so sorry to hear that and I hope you are on your way to recovery Xx
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you. I’m glad you’re getting the help that you need. I feel the guy who is a tool added onto your experience with your ex being abusive. Mine was like that. Things kept piling up (even though I didn’t think much at the time). I really wish you a speedy recovery. It’s no fun living like this. You deserve to be happy. Lots of hugs. We are here for you. You’re not alone!! ?
- Date posted
- 6y
Wow so.... I’ll tell you what I would tell a friend.... you need to run from that situation. You have rights. He came on to you. And your friend is an idiot for taking his side. my nerves would be shot too if someone did that to me. And I’ve been there too with the paranoia thing. Can you talk to your therapist or doctor? They should be able to point you in the right direction.
- Date posted
- 6y
If you’re otherwise safe and ok to want to do something without further involvement - consider pointing in the direction of a women’s shelter hotline.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I’ve posted this under a comment before, but if anyone has the time to read it and maybe share their experience or tips with me, I would really appreciate it. This is just kind of the reason why Idk if I only have OCD or if I should get checked for BPD aswell as emotional dependency is (as far as I know) not a common symptom of OCD and neither are excessive changes in emotions/moods. I think the worst part my situation is that one of my biggest and most damaging if not destructive obsessions I developed earlier this year was this constant fear that my friend would lie to me about meeting up with a boy she liked (we are both girls and queer, she didn’t know that about me until recently, but I’ve known that she is and we both sort of crushed on each other). Not just lie, but do it behind my back, keep it a secret, and then maybe even end our friendship without saying anything. And the thing is... that basically happened. Two weeks ago she started acting strange one day out of nowhere, and then I found out (through another friend) that he was coming over to her place. We had already talked about this before, I had cried in front of her and confessed how much it hurt me. I know doing that probably wasn’t the healthiest thing, but my emotions completely overwhelmed me in that moment. And even though nothing physical happened between them, it still felt like a betrayal. I’m not saying it was cheating, obviously not, we’re not in a relationship and it is unfair of me to try and tell her who or not to date, but it still hurts. Especially as weeks ago, we already had a detailed conversation about this. She told me she didn’t actually like him that much, and that if they were going to meet again, she’d be honest with me about it. But instead of being honest that day, she said nothing. Worse, she suddenly stopped talking to me, which made me think I had done something wrong so I completely lost my mind. She knows I’m emotionally dependent on her to some extent, so when she goes cold or distant, I spiral. And that day, I saw them talking and going quiet as I walked by, and then she literally turned to walk into a different direction. I don’t know why but it just crushed me. I thought she was mad at me, and I just felt like I was being shut out and lied to. And as I’ve mentioned, later that day, after eight hours of crying, another friend told me what really happened. She even drove me to her place so we could talk. We did talk, but since then, we haven’t had any contact. And it’s driving me absolutely insane. She told me it would be “people-pleasing” if she didn’t try to date him. And I know she’s kind of right, but she still lied to me. She didn’t care if that meant that she would throw away our friendship, or at least she treated it like it was worth less than a potential (!) relationship with a guy who, as far as I know, didn’t even respond when she told him she had feelings for him. It’s honestly devastating. I feel betrayed, discarded, and totally lost and I know I can’t even logically be mad at her as the reason she didn’t tell me is obvious and as a good friend I should just be happy for her, but my emotional side is so much stronger than my logic.
- Students with OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Existential OCD
- Magical Thinking OCD
- Suicidal OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 18w
Hi I’ve never posted before but I need to talk with other people that have this too because it’s hard to explain to other people without ocd. I was in a relationship for awhile and we started dating before either of us knew I had ocd. Anyway I have a really bad episode of it that led me to go get on medication and got into therapy. My ocd can have some really taboo themes and thoughts which I have learned is just what comes with the illness. The problem though is when I was really struggling one of my compulsions was confessing and reassurance seeking specifically to the guy I was dating because I trusted him. We both knew at this point that I had ocd and it affected many parts of our relationship particularly our intimacy which he made me feel bad about. He started calling me crazy, just joking, but still. Eventually I start feeling better and we start being intimate again and the day after he breaks up with me. About a month later after I hear he went on a date with another girl (we live together) he tells me he couldn’t be intimate with me because of my intrusive thoughts. We still live together with 2 other roommates so I still see him everyday. We try to be cordial with each other. I still have my moments though I’m still dealing with my ocd and a breakup seemingly caused by it and I cry a lot. Some months go by and he’s dating this other girl and I end up making out with one of my other roommates. I have no idea if my ex knew but the next day when it was only me in the house he starts screaming “THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS” and starts slamming shit. I tell my roommate about this and he and I are both kind of scared of him. He started acting really cold to us after. Then the night before my graduation my two roommates moved out so it’s just me and my ex in the house. In the middle of the night he comes downstairs and in front of my door calls me a horrible name relating to my intrusive thoughts. I open the door and say fuck you and he says you took my fucking friends. I said I didn’t take shit from you and he says yeah and goes upstairs and screams BINGO for some reason. He did it in the middle of the night when we were alone and I had no one to talk to or go to. He blames me because a lot of our friends sided with me in the breakup because they knew what I was going through. He had told me that I could never speak if my intrusive thoughts to anyone including my therapist (I did don’t worry) but he had made me feel so ashamed more than I was already. Also the next day he left a mess for me to clean up since I was the last one to move out. I’m coming to terms with the fact that on top of this awful experience with ocd that I may have been emotionally abused as well.
- Date posted
- 13w
I try my best not to ask for reassurance, I really do. One thing has been bothering me a lot for a few hours now: A (former?) good friend of mine and I are meeting up next Thursday to talk about the situation our friendship is currently in (since I write a lot anyway and like to digress, I'll spare you the details for now). But to cut a long story short: it’s tense. Now, I've been "stalking" her on social media relatively often since the whole thing started, actually almost daily and on all socials. What really bothers me is the thought of whether I'm really stalking her at this point or not. I know that the term now has a pretty distorted meaning, especially on social media, but at its core, stalking is not only punishable by law, it's also morally wrong and indicates disturbed behavior. I noticed earlier that she somehow blocked me on Twitter/X. I have a very random user name there that she doesn’t know and I was also firmly convinced that you can't see when people visit your profile. It's stressing me out in two ways right now. On the one hand, I'm actually afraid that my behavior can now really be described as "stalking", and on the other hand, I'm confused and unsure about how she could even notice me on Twitter. Apart from social media activity, there were 2 "real" situations about 2 months ago in which I felt, in retrospect, that I had crossed a line. I "tracked" or checked (actually legally) the online activity on Whatsapp (EU) of her and a second person to see if they were online at the same time and therefore possibly writing together and she was lying to me. She knows about this since I told her. The second time was in person, when I went for a walk with another friend in the park behind my school and then saw said friend sitting there after she said (at school) that she was going home. I immediately panicked because I thought she was lying to me again, which is why I went up to her and pretended that I had just happened to pass her with the other friend. I didn't actively follow or spy on her on purpose in any way, however, up until a few weeks ago I did actually have the urge to do so. I'm quite aware of the legal boundaries and would never cross a line there, but I'm more concerned about the morality. I know that it probably sounds a lot like reassurance-seeking up to this point, but I don't really want to hear from others whether what I'm doing is directly considered stalking or not, because I'm going to have this heavy feeling either way. Instead, I would like to know what advice you would give me in this situation, either because you have actually been stalked yourself or simply because you have advice from a more distanced perspective than mine. I want to add that although I was officially diagnosed with OCD that I am sadly not in professional treatment yet and that I have been wondering for years now if I may fit the diagnostic criteria for BPD as I believe to have a lot of common “quiet BPD” symptoms, the friend mentioned being my FP.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond