I can’t do this anymore. My ocd convinces me I’m a racist, a psychopath, a weirdo. I hate myself so much I don’t even know if I have ocd or I’m just a terrible person. I need help and I can’t get any.

You say you're convinced. But the way you worded your post demonstrates that part of you isn't. If you truly believed those things about yourself, you'd have asserted "I'm a racist, a psychopath, a weirdo" without distancing yourself from it by starting the sentence with "my OCD convinces me". Listen to the part of you that is still whispering "but I'm not...". Nurture it by acting as though this is OCD, even if you're not sure. We act as if all the time. For example, by saving money for retirement even though we know we might not live long enough to use the money we save

i am the exact same way. im glad to see im not alone, and people are fighting right along side me to get better and stronger

OCD is such an awful beast, and I’m sorry you’re having trouble. I have been there, and please know there is light at the end of the tunnel and you can get better. Something that helped me to reframe my experience was taking one of my thoughts and reframing it like this: “If I am a racist, what’s the worst case scenario?” I find it usually helps diffuse the thought and take its power. Or saying something like this, “You know, maybe I am a racist, but I’m choosing to go on with my day,”

Hi hun! I promise you that what you are going through is not abnormal! For people with OCD, these thoughts are quite common. I have lapses often too, and with severe OCD, it’s often like tunnel vision where I can’t imagine any possible scenario in which things will be okay. Please know that this feeling of hopelessness is TEMPORARY. If you are in a position where you can’t afford help or anything like that, I recommend checking out resources for people with OCD online. Lots of websites provide books with tips & tricks you can practice at home. Check out the International OCD Foundation’s & Peace of Mind’s website. Both provide video’s, books, article’s & support groups that you can join for free. OCD is a doubting disorder, it often makes us even doubt whether we have OCD...but it is important to remember your intrusive thoughts are egodystonic to your values. I won’t say anything more about that because reassurance does not help in the long run. Just know that no matter how hopeless you feel, I promise things do get better and that you are not alone.