Does anyone struggle with depersonalization? I often feel like I am a ghost in the world. Ghost girl, Or detached from my surroundings. Wondering if this is common with other OCD heads ?! Hope u are all having a lovely weekend ! Try to take care of yourselves and focus on the positive:) we are all lucky in some way and everyone u meet us struggling so be kind :)

I don’t have much of a support system outside of my bf, so I find myself here a lot. I think I just need to vent, so forgive me if I do this too often. It helps to have a community of people who truly understand. I haven’t felt this debilitated by mental illness in months. There has to be some explanation, maybe it’s hormonal, because I feel like I’ve completely lost myself. The panic hits in waves, sudden and overwhelming, like my head is submerged in lava, burning and suffocating. Then, for a brief moment, I feel almost normal and wonder what all the fear was about. But it never lasts. The chaos always comes back. I even considered going to the ER because I’m not sure I can trust myself anymore. Something has to be wrong, because this isn’t me. My life isn’t perfect, but it’s not unbearable either. Since I withdrew from school, I’ve been so much less stressed that even my cycle, which has been irregular for years, has somehow regulated itself. But even with that, I feel like a failure. I was one semester away from finishing, so close, but OCD hit me harder than it ever has. It felt like drowning, gasping for air, reaching for something solid, only to be dragged under again and again. Now, I feel like that again, but worse. I feel hollow, like something is wrong with me at my core. I don’t just feel sad; I feel broken. I break down into uncontrollable sobs every few hours, and I don’t even know why. I just know that whatever is happening, OCD is taking full advantage of how vulnerable I feel. Is this what MDD feels like? Everyone tells me I have it, and it’s been confirmed by my psych, my pcp, and my therapist, but I still can’t seem to fully see it. I don’t know how to separate what’s OCD from what might be another disorder. I’m sorry to anyone also going through such a hard time, my heart goes out to you 🤍

does anyone else get INTENSE derealization (it’s the worse for me when i wake up from a dream in the middle of the night) and it’s so bad that it genuinely feels like nothing is real, not even thoughts are real, consciousness is not real, what the heck are we doing on a floating ball in the middle of darkness?? i feel like im in a simulation or a dream. i hate it sm ive had it everyday for 5 years, but tbh im not surprised it hasn’t gotten better because I have gone through some traumatic things recently and have had bad mental health. hopefully it could get better soon idk.

Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or him… For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know it’s common but it’s annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately we’ve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncle’s dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD I’ll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesn’t help enough and if this continues I’ll have to leave… it’s so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didn’t think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesn’t care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So it’s almost like I’m looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? It’s a constant cycle for me and I’m truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost don’t let myself depend on others…. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind 🥺🥺🥺