Trigger POCD So last night I tried doing ERP to a pic of kids in swimming costumes and it went ok for the first few mins, anxiety went up and down but tried to be mindful and stay with the thoughts. Then groinal / arousal happened and I had this thought to get off. I don’t get off often. It felt like I just wanted to get off in general, NOT to the picture or thinking of kids or anything like that. It was the first time something like that had happened. What does this mean? Was it related to the thoughts or can people get turned on for no reason? and I was up most of the night crying about it. I called in sick to work due to anxiety for the first time. I feel like I can’t get out of bed today.

I actually didn’t do erp...I waited it out ? took a year! But with ocd it is always false attraction. I don’t have ocd about feeling attracted to my boyfriend, I just am and feel no anxiety about my sexual feelings towards him. The possibility of being lesbian brought me immense worry and feeling as though I actually wanted to have sex with a woman constantly, which brought me even more anxiety and confusion, and depression. But i learned if I was obsessing about it? It wasn’t true about me. It’s a psychological term for impulses that are not truly part of your real personhood...ego dystonic I believe?

Gosh why can I give other people advice but it’s so hard for me to do it everyday

It is difficult. I’ve given lots of advice but because my thoughts can be graphic and specific I do wonder ‘could part of me like or be capable of doing this unnatural act?’. It’s very difficult. I just gotta keep going I guess and trust my brain will eventually rewire to remove this curse.

Yes this happened to where whenever I would look at a woman and get groinal response I needed and wanted to get off even though I wasn’t attracted to women at all. It passed and I no longer get groinal responses, only to men, like usual :)

Thanks Dianaaa I’ve had groinal response before but never had the feeling I had last night to get off. It scared me so much and I’ve been crying off and on.

What made you realise it was false attraction? How often did you do ERP?

Ocd sufferers are very hard on ourselves aren’t we? I guess we can have compassion for others but hard to do that for ourselves

I did. That was my compulsion for an entire year. I would feel false attraction to women and then need to get off to make it go away.

Thank you for your response :)

No problem! It helped me to realize all obsessions are ego dystonic with ocd, 100% of the time. Not trying to reassure just a helpful reminder of the real truth!

How do I know it was a groinal response vs arousal ?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.intrusivethoughts.org/blog/whats-going-ocd-arousal//amp Read this article

I like this “Just because it is sexual in context, we may immediately experience arousal. When we see, hear, touch, taste or imagine something that is simply sexual in nature, our brain may send out a message to your genitals to get all fired up. And like it or not, then they do. Our brain might not wait to consult with our true values and preferences before sending this message. The brains just sends the message on through. This is true for everyone, not just those with OCD.”

Thank you. I’m just so scared doing ERP will “condition” me into believing I’m actually attracted and my orientation will change. I’m so so scared anyone else feel the same?

I haven’t started erp yet. I’m on a waiting list to see a therapist. I’m scared too. But I’m around kids everyday. I’m a pediatric nurse. I have intrusive thoughts all the time but I try to remember that I have my values and those are what I choose to practice, everyday. My darn Christian values because it is what I hold dear. You can have ocd thoughts and your own values. Don’t let ocd try to tell you differently. You are the commander of the ship :)

Same Halespineapple18! I can empathise with how people are feeling and give advice but it’s so so hard to do it myself!!!

I’m the same Soniclen

Good days and bad days Anonk. At the moment I’m having a good day but the triggers swim around in the back of my mind. Just gotta keep plugging on. Hales you may get better quicker than you know. You’re practising exposure everyday.