- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Kids do a bunch of weird things when they are learning. Be gentle with yourself.
- Date posted
- 4y
^^ !!
- Date posted
- 4y
Everyone has made unfortunate choices. Most people can understand that, repent if they are religious, and move on. You have OCD, so the current problem is not what you did, but how you think about it. Its important at this stage to identify- what does my OCD want me to do? And then to not do it. http://www.ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/ This article can help. Try to refrain from googling for similar experiences, or from wallowing in the guilt, or from playing over the event. A good mini-script would be "I notice I'm remembering the time I put my sister's hand on my breast. Maybe that says something about who I am today. Maybe it doesn't. I am choosing to be uncertain and to focus on the task at hand"
- Date posted
- 4y
But what if it isn’t about me? If it involves another person don’t I have the obligation to tell them what I did? I already brought up once how we might have sexually experimented as kids and she thought it was weird and told me to forget about it but I didn’t tell her about the sleeping thing. So do I tell her or not?
- Date posted
- 4y
@worryqueen Don't tell her that. You don't have an obligation, and your OCD is trying to make you think you do, so it can have a stronger hold on your life. She already felt uncomfortable the first time you tried to bring it up. Please don't involve her in your OCD by creating the same situation again.
- Date posted
- 4y
I used to have a similar theme. While it might feel like you have to tell her to be a moral person, this is a sneaky compulsion and you must avoid it. I made a deal with myself that I would never talk to my husband about details of my OCD themes for this reason. It becomes compulsive so easily.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you, I’ll try my best not to bring it up to her. I just feel very torn because there was no consent involved in what I did, and no consent = rape/molestation :(
- Date posted
- 4y
@worryqueen Even if there was consent, you would still be worried- because you have OCD. The thing you did has come and gone. The choice now is how you handle it :)
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- 4y
@emma589 Maybe but the fact that I didn’t makes me a bad person :(
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- 4y
@worryqueen Did you read the linked article?
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- 4y
@emma589 Just finished it. It helped a lot, thank you. I’ll talk to my therapist about my state of mind on Thursday for additional help. Thanks again!
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- 4y
You were ten years old. I know it probably feels like you're a monster, but OCD has a way of blowing things out of proportion. When kids are discovering their bodies they tend to get up to a lot of weird, taboo shit. When I was seven I masturbated in front of family members, without knowing what I was doing or why it was wrong. Children just don't have the mental capacity to understand those things yet, because they don't have experience. Maybe think of it this way: if you saw a young child doing that, as a parent, you would scold them, but it wouldn't make you think they were a terrible person for the rest of their lives. You would realize they were just a kid and forget about it sooner or later. I find that a good method is to ask, how would I feel if I were on the outside looking in as an objective third party?
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for that perspective. I tried imagining what I’d do if my friend told me she did something like that and kind of realizied that we’d probably just laugh about it. I’m still worried over what my sister thinks and if I hurt her somehow and I think I always will think that. Feeling a bit better now, though.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young 🫠 I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.
- Date posted
- 20w
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
- Date posted
- 13w
I’m a 23 y/o female who has recently entered a phase of obsessive thoughts of mistakes I’ve made, ranging from events that happened over a decade ago when and I was a kid up to things that happened recently. I feel so much debilitating guilt I can’t do anything or function. I especially feel bad for this one instance. I have always had extremely low self esteem, and I often seek attention and validation especially from men. I like being liked. I find myself trying to act or look cute, or even act somewhat like a pick-me, so that I feel liked. I feel like I may even do this with girls too, but especially guys. I just really like attention, and I’ve been in a stagnant 6 year relationship where I don’t really feel desirable, and I’m very lonely. A few months ago I started playing a game where I met a large group of people and we would all play together everyday. One of the people in particular was a 15/16 year old guy who flirted with me a lot, and I kept my distance because he was so young, and I felt kinda weird talking to someone younger than me, but we would still talk sometimes because we were apart of the same discord group, and I have a problem being stern and confrontational so I didn’t want to be mean or make things awkward in the friend group. Although it made me uncomfortable that he was so young and that I’m nearly a whole decade older than him, and I did make it clear that I was dating someone and I was way too old for him and I would tell him to stop, I wasn’t very stern and I was very lighthearted about it and I even found myself liking the attention I got from him. I was flattered. I liked that he liked me so much even though I knew he was a teenager and I feel like I was maybe even seeking attention from him like I did with the other guys in the group. And when I say seeking attention, I mean that I was acting cute so that I was liked and got attention. Is that considered flirting? Was I flirting with him? Does this make me disgusting? That I liked the attention I got even though he was teenager? That I acted cute around him as well as all the other guys so that he would like me? I feel disgusted with myself. Does this make me a predator? Doesn’t this make me disgusting that I liked attention I got from a teenager? To be fair, I like the attention I get from any guy. I just like feeling liked. But I feel like it makes me disgusting that even though I knew he was a teenager I still liked and was flattered by the attention and was possibly even seeking it out from him. My head is all messed up. I really feel like I’m having an identity crisis. I feel disgusted with myself to the point that I’m nauseous. I’m so ashamed. I’ve been crying nonstop for days on end and I feel truly hopeless. I don’t know how I’m supposed to live my life with this shame and that I’m convinced that makes me a predator or a sick person. I don’t know if I’m overthinking things or not. I just really need some relief because I feel like I’m losing my mind, but I want someone to be honest with me about my actions.
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