- Username
- worryqueen
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Kids do a bunch of weird things when they are learning. Be gentle with yourself.
^^ !!
Everyone has made unfortunate choices. Most people can understand that, repent if they are religious, and move on. You have OCD, so the current problem is not what you did, but how you think about it. Its important at this stage to identify- what does my OCD want me to do? And then to not do it. http://www.ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/ This article can help. Try to refrain from googling for similar experiences, or from wallowing in the guilt, or from playing over the event. A good mini-script would be "I notice I'm remembering the time I put my sister's hand on my breast. Maybe that says something about who I am today. Maybe it doesn't. I am choosing to be uncertain and to focus on the task at hand"
But what if it isn’t about me? If it involves another person don’t I have the obligation to tell them what I did? I already brought up once how we might have sexually experimented as kids and she thought it was weird and told me to forget about it but I didn’t tell her about the sleeping thing. So do I tell her or not?
@worryqueen Don't tell her that. You don't have an obligation, and your OCD is trying to make you think you do, so it can have a stronger hold on your life. She already felt uncomfortable the first time you tried to bring it up. Please don't involve her in your OCD by creating the same situation again.
I used to have a similar theme. While it might feel like you have to tell her to be a moral person, this is a sneaky compulsion and you must avoid it. I made a deal with myself that I would never talk to my husband about details of my OCD themes for this reason. It becomes compulsive so easily.
Thank you, I’ll try my best not to bring it up to her. I just feel very torn because there was no consent involved in what I did, and no consent = rape/molestation :(
@worryqueen Even if there was consent, you would still be worried- because you have OCD. The thing you did has come and gone. The choice now is how you handle it :)
@emma589 Maybe but the fact that I didn’t makes me a bad person :(
@worryqueen Did you read the linked article?
@emma589 Just finished it. It helped a lot, thank you. I’ll talk to my therapist about my state of mind on Thursday for additional help. Thanks again!
You were ten years old. I know it probably feels like you're a monster, but OCD has a way of blowing things out of proportion. When kids are discovering their bodies they tend to get up to a lot of weird, taboo shit. When I was seven I masturbated in front of family members, without knowing what I was doing or why it was wrong. Children just don't have the mental capacity to understand those things yet, because they don't have experience. Maybe think of it this way: if you saw a young child doing that, as a parent, you would scold them, but it wouldn't make you think they were a terrible person for the rest of their lives. You would realize they were just a kid and forget about it sooner or later. I find that a good method is to ask, how would I feel if I were on the outside looking in as an objective third party?
Thank you for that perspective. I tried imagining what I’d do if my friend told me she did something like that and kind of realizied that we’d probably just laugh about it. I’m still worried over what my sister thinks and if I hurt her somehow and I think I always will think that. Feeling a bit better now, though.
I am 20. Around a month ago, I suddenly remembered something very bad I did when I was ten. At the time (when I was ten), I didn’t think twice about it, but ever since I remembered it, I can’t stop thinking and obsessing over it as I do not understand how I could have ever done something so bad. It really bothers me, and now I am contemplating wether or not I am a bad person. I have read many articles about this, scanned them, looked for people who have done similar things. According to them, I have past event ocd. I can understand that, but I consider what I did too bad for it to be that. Here’s what I remember of it: When I was 10, my sister was 7, and around that age we would often just walk around naked, wrestle, and etc just like kids. This is probably why I didn’t think twice about what I did. At that time, I would hump various things, not knowing what it meant. I can faintly recollect humping my sister. I do not understand why I did it, but it bothers me a lot and makes me wonder if I am a bad person. I realise it’s horrible, but I didn’t know what I was doing at the time.
when i was 7 years old, i sexually experimented but with my brother who was three years younger than me. nothing terrible happened and nothing was forced. i sat on his lap and i moved my hips in a sexual way for like 5 seconds. i didn’t know that it was wrong at the time, i was just a very curious child. that was 12 years ago and ever since then i’ve regretted it with every ounce of my being and it made me feel disgusting because it doesn’t align with my values at all. but recently, it has turned into real event ocd. i cant stop feeling immense guilt over this thinking i molested my brother and how shameful i feel about it. i feel so disgusting and i don’t think i’ve ever felt more suicidal than i do now.
When I was younger, about ten, I watched porn. A lot of it, actually. Idk how it started exactly, but I was a curious kid. This led to me playing doctor with my younger sister... I'd get her to touch me (not in my privates, just the rest of my body) and we'd laugh at each others naked bodies etc. I feel terrible about this later on. Complete shit. I even made her touch my breast one night while she was sleeping because I was curious what it felt like (I saw it on porn). I stopped though. My parents are hardcore catholic and I was afraid they would find us doing it, so I freaked out. This all happened when I was 10, and I regret everything now. I brought it up to my sister a few years ago, and she said not to talk of it again. She seemed weirded out and had no memory of what happened... my mother was even brought in and asked me if I did something wrong. I think she talked to my sister too, but none of us have ever brought it up again. I cant get over it though.
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