- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Kids do a bunch of weird things when they are learning. Be gentle with yourself.
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- 4y
^^ !!
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- 4y
Everyone has made unfortunate choices. Most people can understand that, repent if they are religious, and move on. You have OCD, so the current problem is not what you did, but how you think about it. Its important at this stage to identify- what does my OCD want me to do? And then to not do it. http://www.ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/ This article can help. Try to refrain from googling for similar experiences, or from wallowing in the guilt, or from playing over the event. A good mini-script would be "I notice I'm remembering the time I put my sister's hand on my breast. Maybe that says something about who I am today. Maybe it doesn't. I am choosing to be uncertain and to focus on the task at hand"
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- 4y
But what if it isn’t about me? If it involves another person don’t I have the obligation to tell them what I did? I already brought up once how we might have sexually experimented as kids and she thought it was weird and told me to forget about it but I didn’t tell her about the sleeping thing. So do I tell her or not?
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- 4y
@worryqueen Don't tell her that. You don't have an obligation, and your OCD is trying to make you think you do, so it can have a stronger hold on your life. She already felt uncomfortable the first time you tried to bring it up. Please don't involve her in your OCD by creating the same situation again.
- Date posted
- 4y
I used to have a similar theme. While it might feel like you have to tell her to be a moral person, this is a sneaky compulsion and you must avoid it. I made a deal with myself that I would never talk to my husband about details of my OCD themes for this reason. It becomes compulsive so easily.
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- 4y
Thank you, I’ll try my best not to bring it up to her. I just feel very torn because there was no consent involved in what I did, and no consent = rape/molestation :(
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- 4y
@worryqueen Even if there was consent, you would still be worried- because you have OCD. The thing you did has come and gone. The choice now is how you handle it :)
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- 4y
@emma589 Maybe but the fact that I didn’t makes me a bad person :(
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- 4y
@worryqueen Did you read the linked article?
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- 4y
@emma589 Just finished it. It helped a lot, thank you. I’ll talk to my therapist about my state of mind on Thursday for additional help. Thanks again!
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- 4y
You were ten years old. I know it probably feels like you're a monster, but OCD has a way of blowing things out of proportion. When kids are discovering their bodies they tend to get up to a lot of weird, taboo shit. When I was seven I masturbated in front of family members, without knowing what I was doing or why it was wrong. Children just don't have the mental capacity to understand those things yet, because they don't have experience. Maybe think of it this way: if you saw a young child doing that, as a parent, you would scold them, but it wouldn't make you think they were a terrible person for the rest of their lives. You would realize they were just a kid and forget about it sooner or later. I find that a good method is to ask, how would I feel if I were on the outside looking in as an objective third party?
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for that perspective. I tried imagining what I’d do if my friend told me she did something like that and kind of realizied that we’d probably just laugh about it. I’m still worried over what my sister thinks and if I hurt her somehow and I think I always will think that. Feeling a bit better now, though.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I’m a 23 y/o female who has recently entered a phase of obsessive thoughts of mistakes I’ve made, ranging from events that happened over a decade ago when and I was a kid up to things that happened recently. I feel so much debilitating guilt I can’t do anything or function. I especially feel bad for this one instance. I have always had extremely low self esteem, and I often seek attention and validation especially from men. I like being liked. I find myself trying to act or look cute, or even act somewhat like a pick-me, so that I feel liked. I feel like I may even do this with girls too, but especially guys. I just really like attention, and I’ve been in a stagnant 6 year relationship where I don’t really feel desirable, and I’m very lonely. A few months ago I started playing a game where I met a large group of people and we would all play together everyday. One of the people in particular was a 15/16 year old guy who flirted with me a lot, and I kept my distance because he was so young, and I felt kinda weird talking to someone younger than me, but we would still talk sometimes because we were apart of the same discord group, and I have a problem being stern and confrontational so I didn’t want to be mean or make things awkward in the friend group. Although it made me uncomfortable that he was so young and that I’m nearly a whole decade older than him, and I did make it clear that I was dating someone and I was way too old for him and I would tell him to stop, I wasn’t very stern and I was very lighthearted about it and I even found myself liking the attention I got from him. I was flattered. I liked that he liked me so much even though I knew he was a teenager and I feel like I was maybe even seeking attention from him like I did with the other guys in the group. And when I say seeking attention, I mean that I was acting cute so that I was liked and got attention. Is that considered flirting? Was I flirting with him? Does this make me disgusting? That I liked the attention I got even though he was teenager? That I acted cute around him as well as all the other guys so that he would like me? I feel disgusted with myself. Does this make me a predator? Doesn’t this make me disgusting that I liked attention I got from a teenager? To be fair, I like the attention I get from any guy. I just like feeling liked. But I feel like it makes me disgusting that even though I knew he was a teenager I still liked and was flattered by the attention and was possibly even seeking it out from him. My head is all messed up. I really feel like I’m having an identity crisis. I feel disgusted with myself to the point that I’m nauseous. I’m so ashamed. I’ve been crying nonstop for days on end and I feel truly hopeless. I don’t know how I’m supposed to live my life with this shame and that I’m convinced that makes me a predator or a sick person. I don’t know if I’m overthinking things or not. I just really need some relief because I feel like I’m losing my mind, but I want someone to be honest with me about my actions.
- Date posted
- 20w
Struggling. My mind/OCD told me I had already abused my child by breathing when they were laying across me and that I might as well do something else to hurt them. I had to think for a second, but the only thing that came to mind was to move my elbow towards their groin area to cause a "feeling". Well I did just that, and I ended up grazing their groinal area and it caused a disgusting unwanted feeling. I IMMEDIATELY wanted to throw up and panicked. I also asked my child to move off of me immediately. It went against my morals, beliefs, and values as an individual and mother. I can't stop thinking about it and it's very debilitating. I didn't enjoy a single moment of it. But my question to you guys is am the monster that I've always been scared of being? Do I belong in the ground? Do I deserve to have a wonderful life and wonderful, perfect child?
- Date posted
- 19w
I think I know what honestly is what caused my OCD. I’ve never told anyone this but I have to if I want help. When I was either 10 or 11, I think 10 I was at my family’s thanksgiving dinner. Around this time I discovered porn and got addicted. I would watch porn and read erotica. Because of this I guess I wanted to experiment. I feel absolutely horrible just thinking about this but I was playing around with my little cousin, he was around 7 I think and I remember we were playing chase or hide and seek, and I grabbed him and hugged him (something I never done before), and got a boner. I did this for pleasure. That’s all I did that was sexual but I feel so horrible. I try to give myself grace as I was only 10 and didn’t know the consequences of something so disgusting. I keep thinking “what if I went farther and hurt him?”. I talk to him sometimes and he seems comfortable with me and I think he doesn’t even remember this ever happened and just thought I hugged him for some reason all those years ago. I am NOT attracted to him at all but I think this incident and remembering it when I was 14 has caused my OCD such as POCD for all these years. I am 18 now but I feel absolutely horrible. And now it’s even worse because I have been invited to his 15th birthday party in Mexico. I’m traveling all the way to another country just to be near him! Obviously I know I won’t touch him or be innopropriate with him. But what if he has felt uncomfortable with me all this time? He seems fine with me and not uncomfortable around me but still. If I feel as if I go to this trip, I am a horrible person. I don’t know what to do. Am I a horrible person for what I did and continuing to be around him? I remember reading Reddit and Quora stories of similar people who felt horrible and people told them to not feel bad as they were only children and they learned and now know that was wrong and that to not tell anyone as it could only make things extremely awkward.Please help. I know COCSA is a very serious topic that harms people and I feel like a horrible perpetrator now.
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