「sickmindhuman」
- Date posted
- 4y
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
My friends, stop checking. It is doing you no good. Don’t actively call up thoughts to see how you feel. A brief reminder that if you anticipate that a feeling or thought will be romantic, or are trying to imagine it is a romantic capacity, it will probably be romantic. People can be romantically touched by relationships between members of a different orientation than oneself without wanting to be that orientation. You’ve got this.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
Do you guys get feelings of being with the same sex ?. I really dont want this 😞
wonderrwonderr
- Date posted
- 4y
I do. It’s not as bad as it used to be back when this started in January. Sometimes is on and off. For example, one minute my Brain is like “you like girls sexually” then it’s like “you like girls romantically”
wonderrwonderr
- Date posted
- 4y
I know it’s horrid. Or I feel like they’re flirting with me and I truely want it but my brain has suppressed these feelings so deep and I don’t even realize
「sickmindhuman」「sickmindhuman」
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes ı feel like this way too :(
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
I imagined a guy coming home from work all dusty from work and it felt like i liked it 😞
wonderrwonderr
- Date posted
- 4y
So are you scared of liking guys
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
but it doesnt make me happy
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
I dont know what it is ?
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
i dont want to be with a man. And im so scared of losing my family 😞
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
it makes me feel so distressed and unhappy
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
I dont really feel anything ?. I just get a feeling in my chest and stomach like an anxious feeling
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
Can hocd do this im so distressedl. I keep breaking down eveyday i cant keep doing this
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
I didnt call the thought up it poped into my head 😞
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
Does it to me too man. Doesn’t matter. It is going to give you some peace for a couple of minutes and then back to the races. I have felt pretty much everything you have. All the crazy feelings. The distress. The depression. I believe I am getting better. It is only because I am no longer focusing on all of this. I am trying to trigger my anxiety in social spaces, hanging out with objectively good looking friends, freaking myself out to restabilize myself. I am determined to live my life again, no matter the outcome. That is the way man. I know it is horrible. I was suicidal for a while. Trust me. You just have to roll with it.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
What do you mean no matter the outcome ?
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
Do you take medication mate ?
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
Ihateocd83, bro, not to be abrasive, but you picked 1 phrase out of an entire paragraph. Your OCD is in control. Take control back from it by letting go and not analyzing every thought as if it is the truth. Right now, my head is bombarding me with uncomfortable and intrusive thoughts. I am not checking a single one like I would have a week ago. Do the same. You can get through this.
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
I was on Prozac. Haven’t been on it for a while. Not recommending it. I am an undergraduate studying Biochemistry, so the inconsistent sleeping schedule this semester knocked me off my cycle and I just stopped taking it.
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
Not recommending going off of it*
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
Ive been taking it for 16 years. I came off it for 3 months and shit just got a lot worse for me. So im back on it 2 and half months in and im still feeling shit
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
In my perspective, medication can only serve as a supplement. It makes it easier to do the therapy needed to break free (stoping the obsessive rumination and checking). While it certainly might help with anxiety and with the intrusive thoughts, it won’t likely help with the doubt. Work on stopping the checking. Work on ERP. The meds are a boost, and a pleasant surprise if they do more than you suspect they will.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
They seem to be taking ages to kick in ?
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
My point is, if you are just waiting for the meds to kick in, you are missing a vital part of treatment. If you could just wait for OCD to go away, people would not suffer from it for years. It needs to be actively treated from a behavioral end. Do your ERP. Go out and actively try to get better by exposing yourself to anxiety inducing material and staying mindful (not checking, not freaking out when you feel something or your mind tells you something). You’ve got this man.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
Cheers mate 👍
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
Cheers right back at you my friend. Don’t go checking or analyzing the thoughts now though. If you start freaking out or acting on the compulsions, just imagine me telling you to stop that shit lol.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
I dont really know what my compulsions are tho mate ?
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, it can be tough. Alright, so I have a couple questions.
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
I have heard you say your mind will just throw a picture of a shirtless construction worker into your head. Do you analyze that thought and keep on pulling it back up to see how you feel?
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah sometimes mate things a bit more graphic aswel
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
i keep thinking i look gay aswel or im talking differently
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
Same for me on both of those things. It tends to be a lot more graphic for me as well. So, analyzing how you feel, bringing the thought back into your head and all of that are all compulsions. I used to sit in my room for literally hours trying to imagine myself participating in graphic things. It was very anxiety inducing and always felt wrong, almost as if my mind was raping me. Still, my mind was telling me it was enjoyment or excitement because of the feeling in my stomach and chest and the groinals. Analyzing doesn’t help and it doesn’t give you any answers. Intrusive thoughts are one thing (something that just pops up, like seeing a good looking guy and your mind tells you that you are attracted). Trying to analyze whether you are actually attracted and bringing the face or graphic images or imagining yourself in a situation with that person is not an intrusive thought. It is checking and it is a compulsion. The compulsions start to come automatically after a while so you think that the checking is an intrusive thought. You have to stop the checking. That doesn’t mean avoid the thoughts or situations that trigger them. It means just sitting in the moment without freaking the fuck out and trying to figure out if you attracted to that person, and then how attracted you are, and then if you want to engage sexually, and then if you want to marry (whatever the freak out progression looks like for you). You get what I am saying?
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
I think so mate. Its so hard tho its like my brain automatically does these things
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
i defenetly dont want to marry a man lol 😞
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, it is tricky. It gets easier though. I have cut back drastically on my compulsions. Still have everything else, but less anxiety and happier by and large.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
I cant watch football without thinking of guys in the changing room. I hate it 😞
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
Then watch football man.
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
Let the thoughts pop in. Just don’t check them or analyze them.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
I do and just have lol. Thats why i said it
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
You might hate it, but that sounds like about the best ERP I can think about. A bunch of sweaty dudes in tight clothing lol. Gives me anxiety just writing that out. I would start by watching football like 30 minutes a day. Having discipline and not letting yourself get up or look away. Just sit there and watch. Don’t analyze or check the thoughts.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
I woke up this morning thinking about a certain guy i saw years ago on playing it straight. Im so depressed 😞
nGfloatnGfloat
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, mornings are rough man. Always feels like whatever progress you might have made goes away in the morning. Just an illusion. Don’t give in.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
I keep breaking down 😞
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
Why do i think my ocd is different to every body elses
Related posts
BB1224
- Date posted
- 15w
Am I a cheater? PLEASE HELP IM WORRIED
A girl that I know that lives in my neighborhood just snapped me and it was “watch Marlee show off her garden or something” and I was worried enough to just open the snap bc I’m scared of interacting with other girls bf my ocd. The snap was just of her friend playing a garden game and then it switched to a coloring one but I genuinely just skipped over the whole video, it was 10 snaps long. Also the girl that sent me that, her name on snap has had a “😘” and even after changing it today it still shows the ____😘 on her public profile but I never changed her name on my snap and I feel bad bc I have a gf. I hate when people add the stupid hearts and stuff for their names on snap. I’m not going to respond to this snap. Also my brain is telling me I’m a cheater bc I never took out the emoji from her name beforehand. I genuinely never thought about the name until today, it’s been like that forever and I don’t think I ever paid much attention to it until now when my OCD is attaching to it. It’s also attaching to the part where a couple weeks ago her and her friends were giving out cookies to people and they texted me if I wanted one, they were down to their last cookie, so I was like sure and they were in their car just out of my driveway in the street and I got a cookie from them. Even then I felt terrible for getting a cookie from them bc of just interacting with other girls. But now I’m like why did I never realize the name had the 😘 emoji with it and I’m spiraling. It’s also attaching to the part where a couple weeks ago her and her friends were giving out cookies to people and they texted me if I wanted one, they were down to their last cookie, so I was like sure and they were in their car just out of my driveway in the street and I got a cookie from them. Even then I felt terrible for getting a cookie from them bc of just interacting with other girls. But now I’m like why did I never realize the name had the 😘 emoji with it and I’m spiraling. Also she texted me June 20 asking about if I had a bbl which was weird and so I responded to her then bc I was like wtf. But now I’m like why did I never realize her name had that emoji in it and I’m stressing. I really don’t enjoy talking to her and I’m not attracted to her at all and barely actually talk with her, and if I do I’m not flirting with her bc I love my girlfriend and don’t care about other girls I do remember that it wasn’t that girl that texted me about the cookie, it was one of my friends gfs. I was also worried about that bc I didn’t want to text my friends gf bc I thought it would be weird but it was only about the cookie
Notanon
- Date posted
- 15w
I did flirt
I flirted back to my friends bf one time. Maybe this is a confession. The thing is I dont judge myself, but I do feel judged by them. OCD got its grips in me this week. Convinced im the worst person in the world for these crimes. Can't read any of the messages she sent me after calling so many times. He is messaging me too and I cant read it. Its been a week. I dont know what to do. She has his Instagram and phone and was calling me from his phone and his ig too. Part of me wants to block them all to stop the harassment, part of me wants to defend myself, part of me wants to tell her the truth that I dont gaf about him and he was coming onto me not the other way around. But she would never believe it anyway.
GuiltyGrapes
- Date posted
- 7w
I feel so sick
Recently I (16m)feel hopeless I feel so sick and sad idk what to do I feel lost I feel like a monster everything has been hell, and I don’t know how to move on from the never ending guilt . I did awful things when I started high school, thinking being sexual was the way to connect.(idk if all of this was because when I was 8 I was shown explicit content by my older brother) I crossed boundaries, overshared, and kept flirting with friends and making sexual jokes, even after they said no (all over text). One friend stopped talking to me and can’t even look at me now. I feel like a monster. Why shouldn’t I be locked up? If I got therapy, I feel like I’d be sent jail. Idk if I can move on. Then there were these 2 guys who were older than me one was 16 one was 17. The 16 yr old was introduced to me by my online friend who is my best friend and I begged the 16 yr old for pics (idk how it started but after my friends ex randomly messaged me and sent me pictures and then blocked me right after I think I became addicted to chasing that high) the 16 yr old eventually sent me a pic but it was real and I stopped bugging him on it after that but i feel so bad I did that but my friend tells me not to feel bad cause the guy was weird but I still feel bad. Then the 17 yr old I did the same thing with him but went too far when I tried getting pics from him by using my best friends ass pics she sent me (she was 15) I don’t think I grasped how wrong this was but that’s not an excuse she eventually found it when I told her after she tried getting pics from the guy herself to try and help me and the guy got mad when she stopped talking to him cause we found it weird talking to him. I told her about how I sent the pics she said she felt sick but forgave me cause she thought I was gonna harm myself. Fast forward the guy told me after I had still been flirting with him that I s@d him (we never met in person ever) and I felt so guilty and apologized a lot and he got annoyed and told me that he had been kinda manipulative to me and kept me in a loop of mystery and I don’t talk to him anymore. But one of my other friends stopped talking to me after I was being by too emotionally taxing on him because I became very depressed and didn’t wanna life anymore and tried to stop lifing a few times. And now idk if I actually s@d someone if I did that to someone and now I think I’m a pdo and I think I s@d my baby cousins and my little brother and now I’m scared bf I can’t even get help because my parents don’t believe in therapy and even if I wanted to I’m scared because I don’t want to go to jail but I think I deserve it honestly why should a monster like me live.i wish I could move on like my older brother and maybe he shouldn’t idk who seems to not feel guilty maybe this is what I deserve idk I feel like I can’t go on I’m in my junior year and I saw one of the people and immediately just got crushed with the guilt and spiraled of how actually shameful I am if I tell any of my friends they’ll just leave or worse
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