Trying to sit with anxiety after going to the dentists office today. Saw a teenage boy there, he was probably like 14-16, and my brain was like "do you find him attractive?? Do you?? Do you?? Oh you think he's cute?? So you ARE attracted!! Are you aroused?? Are you? Are you???" Trying so hard not to over analyze but it's proving to be very difficult ?

I guess my point is that we need to live with uncertainty... acting out is something else all together...

Oh I totally get what you mean. I lived the first year of my ocd denying I had ocd and that it truly was real, at the very least, mine was real with ocd on the side if that makes sense. The very fact that all of us in this app have the very symptoms you have? You are just another ocd case, you are no different

Thise are intrusive thoughts and they are not you.

I think it's also important to take a non-judgemental posture or at least neutral. Let's say you truly are attracted to the teenage boy. So what? It's not unusual to be attracted to youth. That's quite different than acting out. Be kind to yourself and let go, knowing that thoughts, even feelings, shift constantly, if allowed to do so.

I am sorry my comment impacted you that way. Taking away the moral judgment for a moment, I think it's important to say that virtually everyone has intrusive thoughts that become elevated due to what ifs....

Everyone has thoughts.... the problem with OCD is that we attach tremendous meaning to them when without OCD it would simply be a passing thought....

So sorry T. Have you looked up any of Mark Freeman’s videos? I found them very helpful. It helped me to think of the thoughts as “just in my head.” He has one video where he compares intrusive thoughts to bananas. Please look it up! It will help with the ruminating

@halespineapple18 I've seen a few, but I have an irritating habit of making a case against myself no matter what. Anything I hear I twist it around or believe that in my case "it's different" (which sounds really self centered but that's how my brain works) and that I really am just terrible. @wcromwick Thinking about it that way also give me extreme anxiety because I don't support that and it goes against my morals, so if I really am just a pedophile who hates their thoughts I.... don't know what I'm going to do. The thought make me very terrified.

Thank you guys for all your replies, you have NO idea how much I appreciate them. It's so nice being able to talk about my struggles with people who understand. Thank you

It is really hard. I have children and my thoughts have attached to them regarding harm, responsibility and now abusive sexual thoughts. I never thought this would happen after having children. I never had ANY thoughts like this until now. Either it’s OCD or it’s past trauma resurfacing, or a bit of both. I’m inclined to think both. I started a thread where I’m encouraging people to write scripts for their themes. Only one person has agreed but if you look for another thread there I just wrote one for POCD. I’ve jumped in at the deep end. I hate it, but I have to do it. If you have the courage then take a look. It’s purposefully nasty - but so is OCD.