- Username
- Ark8
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hey bro I’ve been feeling pretty much the same way. I have harm ocd thoughts that’s like to pop into my head like all the time and “what if’s” that come along with them. Like I want to get a girlfriend but the “what if” likes to tell me that I’m a monster (as you say) and that it’ll never work out because of how bad my mental state is right now. I am almost 21 and was completely normal until last November when I had my first panic attack, ever since it’s been extremely rough and I picked up HOCD in February. I just want you to know you are NOT alone in this bro. I know, TRUST me, I know it sucks and I’ve had similar thoughts when it’s really bad. However, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Never let that light fade away because one day it will be so bright you won’t even have time to think or be this “monster” you know? Keep fighting the good fight bro :)
This was really pleasent, insightful and relatable to read dude; especially the part about “not having time to think of or be this monster” these anxieties come in waves and at the least it really is comforting to know I’m not alone. And neither are you. Thank you very much for this comment.
Hey kadianj, I have the same subtype if OCD. I was undiagnosed for 10 years. Didn't know it was OCD, I just thought I was the scum of the earth and hiding it from everyone. I want you to know that I still have intrusive thoughts but that I have learnt to let them sit in the backseat of my mind instead of taking the steering wheel. By that I mean; I have numerous wholesome and loving relationships with children in my life whilst dealing with intrusive thoughts in the background. I am also planning on having children of my own. I want to lead my life by my values and not by my fears. I have been where you are mentally and have seriously thought about ending it all. I want you to know that I am so grateful that I didn't. I hope you pull through and take some time out from all the guilt and shame to give yourself some well needed love.
if you ever need someone that understands to listen. I can give you my number if that’s aloud on here
Thank you for making me feel less alone. I don’t feel comfortable giving out my number on here but I do wish there was some sort of chat or crisis chat on the app.
@kadianj totally understand🤍you’re awesome, and needed. We gotta educate the world about OCD. WE NEED YOU!!!!
I struggle with suicidal and harm ocd, which have been unbearable and came back into my life. The whole month of July has been living in a nightmare, I'm starting to feel very discouraged I started erp but I feel like I'm getting worse. These intrusive thoughts are very scary and the urges feel even worse. I can't stop ruminating at all that's my only compulsion, and I'm worried of losing control and going crazy as well. I want to be happy but I'm focusing on these thoughts 24/7 because of how real they feel. 🥺
Ok so I’ve started ERP about a month ago. It’s been really tough and I think I’m a little resistant to the work BECAUSE it’s so anxiety inducing. Although I don’t want to be. Could someone please clarify for me what the eventual goal with ERP is? I had thought the responses were supposed to help me “accept” the thoughts, aka feel relief. Now I believe I was using them as a compulsion. It can feel so shitty to sit with the intrusive thoughts, I don’t understand how to do that yet. I worry that it will never get better. Also one thing I really struggle with is believing my thoughts are 100% real. Makes it hard to accept. Makes me feel like a shitty person. Does anyone have any advice?
I think I’m spiraling and hitting a low point. I started ERP a few days ago. Now that I’m finally in therapy, all I think about is how i won’t be able to do it or it’s not going to work and I feel like I’ll never get better and I’m going to be stuck with this for the rest of my life and be miserable forever.
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