- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Dreams are definitely scary when it comes to OCD. Especially because we live in a world where all kinds of signals suggest that dreams are “important”, symbolic, etc. Freud in particular. And while Freud was central to the birth of psychology, much of what he proposed has turned out to be patently wrong. One of the more dangerous myths that emerged about how humans work is the concept of “repression”. Modern film continues to perpetuate this idea. End of the day, repression has very little to do with who and how we are. So could your dream secretly be trying to tell you something important about yourself? I guess. But ask yourself this: in how many other instances have you allowed your dreams to dictate the direction of your life or determine how you think of yourself as a person? Have you ever killed someone in a dream? I say this, but I know that the rest of the day might still be hard for you. Maybe tomorrow too. You are by no means alone in experiencing this. I can totally identify. And I’m happy to report that the more I do ERP, the less I care about the content of my dreams. Still bothers me, but waaaay less.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Sharing your story has helped tremendously. ❤️
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thank you guys. @fivel you summed that up beautifully. One of the great things that OCD has taught me is how so much of what we think is correct about psychology, usually perpetuated by the culture, isn’t really true. It’s funny, I’ve ALWAYS had violent dreams. Dreams where I’m being murdered, chased, in shooting, or hurting other people. It’s awful, but I kind of just roll with it because I know that it doesn’t indicate anything about me. My OCD has created these dreams (I honestly don’t remember ever having sexual dreams like this before my ocd began) and have made me think it’s something “important.” I’ve said this before, but what really scares me is when I feel aroused by them. I know men have erections constantly through the night and dreams are dreams, but it’s so awful when you know you had a dream like this and experienced that feeling. Has this happened to you at all?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Gotcha. So you totally have been where I am. It’s great knowing I’m not alone here
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hang in there, my friend. You’re going to get through this❤️
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It’s definitely happened to me. But I’d avoid allowing that to reassure you. Lean into the ambiguity as best you can, even as it rips you apart. The scariest element, for me, is letting go of my conception of myself as fundamentally good. I desperately want to hold onto that image. Buddhism suggests that most people recreate the self over and over, and that suffering arises from that clinging.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
God has gotten me through so much.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
POCD. Have struggled with HOCD in the past
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Check out The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chödrön. I found it because Jon Herschfield and Tom Corboy recommend it in their Mindfulness for OCD Workbook. And if you like that, you can read When Things Fall Apart, which is a bit longer.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
100 hundred percent. I’d hug you if I knew you in the real world! The struggle is so real.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
ERP. Are you working with someone who has a background in OCD? I really really loved my therapist who I worked with for years, but realized after a time that I was coming to sessions with more knowledge about OCD than she was. And, in fact, I was seeking and getting reassurance from her that soothed me at first, but was unproductive in the long run, even though she was a kickass therapist in many other ways. After treading water for several years on the OCD front, I decided that I needed to sit down with someone who had actual expertise in OCD treatment. ERP has made me way more tolerant of passing details and the spikes of daily life. Am I thrilled about it if I wake up and discover I was aroused during a dream that I find unsettling with my waking mind? Definitely not. Does it make me anxious? Yes. But I feel way freer from the sort of ruminating that as recently as six months ago would have derailed my day. It’s strange, because the process has meant giving up some of the moral objections to “bad thoughts” that I want to cling to. That clinging is tied, again, to my desire to see myself as good. Counter to OCD logic, giving that up has not rendered me bad. I’m not running around suddenly acting on my intrusive thoughts because I stopped sitting and contemplating them for hours and hours. I’m just paying less attention to them. Which is to say: regardless of any insight I can offer, I don’t think you’re gonna arrive at a new perspective today that makes your dream any less scary to you. But I do think you can make that happen in the long run.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thanks for that explanation, that’s very helpful actually. I have a similar situation with my therapist. I *love* her, and I think she’s knowledgeable about OCD, but she sometimes doesn’t fully acknowledge it (she’s much more of a spiritual and cerebral kind of person and thinks those things can help when dealing with difficult issues.) and I definitely understand feeling like I know more about OCD. THAT being said, she was the one who first explained to me about having intrusive thoughts and that changed my life, and has provided some great insight into the mind and acceptance of these things. I also sometimes get apprehensive opening up because I know deep down I need to see a specialist, and I don’t want to tell my parents about this (still live at home/on their insurance.) I’m going to look more into ERP that I can do on my own. Hearing your story has been really inspiring. Maybe it’s reassurance, but it feels so good knowing I’m not alone in this very specific area of OCD. Dreams used to be easy as pie for me, now it’s become the worst part.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That’s very interesting. I need to look more into spirituality, it’s usually helped me in the past. I’ve always worried that I’m not a good person or that I think I was and when I die I’m going to find out I’m secretly not a good person, that whole time lol (it sounds so crazy written out.) What kind of OCD do you have if you don’t mind me asking? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That makes me feel so good. Thank you so so much ❤️❤️
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I just noticed your book suggestions Fivel! I will check them out. I love Hershfield’s stuff, I have his other book. I know we kind of touched on this earlier, but how did you “accept” feelings of arousal during those dreams or thoughts (especially for POCD.) I’m always looking for specific advice.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w ago
Every time I go to bed late and I’m falling asleep, I suddenly get an intrusive thought of a child’s face and my groinal area always responds to it. It’s such an uncomfortable experience. I am way too tired to try and freak out so I end up falling asleep. The next morning I’m always trying to figure out whether I had the groinal response first or after the thought. I start giving OCD power but it feels like If I let it go, then I’m in denial or whatever. I don’t want to ever do anything sexual with a child. I don’t even feel comfortable talking platonically with people who are 17, much less a child. My therapist says that I have a deep rooted fear that I’m this horrible person and that OCD loves to feed off of it. When you get a groinal response, it makes the thought that much more real. I never want these things to happen. I want to only be into adults. It’s so discomforting and stressful. Especially since I’m hyper checking how anxious I am, and if I find I didn’t really have much anxiety, then I’m like “well if I didn’t have anxiety, what does this mean?” And more questions occur til I end up in a rabbit hole
- Date posted
- 12w ago
I feel like a really terrible person right now, I keep replaying this, and no matter what I can’t remember what happened, it’s like my brain is purposely not letting me think about it. Without wasting any more time, I’ll get into it. Basically, I was at Walmart, and looking at cards with My Dad, I saw anime ones, took pictures of them for my sister, even ones that were anime kids, because I did my best to ignore it, so I looked at a Hunter x Hunter card, I stared at the black haired kid, being all like “ I’m glad I’m not having any thoughts about this, I’m glad I’m having normal thoughts and not thinking anything” I felt happy, then as soon as I looked at killua (white haired kid), everything collapsed. I don’t know what happened, my brain won’t let me remember. But I’ll give bits and pieces. I think that I had false attraction, and something in my head, said “oh, I wouldn’t mind being attracted.” “He is attractive, and I’m attracted to him.” “I remember a girl thinking he is attractive and he is” “ It’s not wrong to be attracted” “ I don’t care about his age” .. something along the lines of that, and now I’m panicking super hard, because I’m worried if I said those things, I feel like I ruined my life that I’m a pe//do and deserve nothing, idk what to do, I feel terrible… I remember when I was having the intrusive thoughts, I was panicking and was worrying, but it kept playing out, and I kept hearing things talk, it was drawn out too long, that now I feel convinced that I was saying those things, I tested it too, and I can confirm that I didn’t say that, but why am I still not convinced? I know I wouldn’t say those things, I was hoping the complete opposite would happen. My brain kept making me feel like it wasn’t wrong and it was okay. Maybe that’s why I’m so convinced I did that. I’m just spiraling super bad right now, I don’t know what to do or what to think, I don’t know if I said that or not… even if I did test it, I genuinely just feel like I said it, and I wanted it, because I still feel uncertain, I still feel like I said it, part of me just wants to be like oh I did and so I can move on, not because I agree with it, I just don’t know what else to do… I’m really scared.
- Date posted
- 6w ago
Does anyone else when they have the thoughts, they feel against it, but they still get arousal or tenglings sensations in the groinal area? Because this is what I experienced today and I feel like crap. This is going to be very triggering for a lot of you, but there are a lot of times that I notice things from kids. For example, there is a thirteen year old kid who looks very developed for her age, and I take notice of (and this already sounds creepy to me) her chest. Today with my thoughts, I imagined as if I were touching it, and although I usually "no no or "I don't want to do that", she is a kid, etc., I still get responses in my groinal area, and It felt very real. Even now, I feel as though I am faking it, even though I groan 😮💨 from it, and feel as though I am a fraud. Does anyone relate?
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