- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Well said! OCD really sucks especially losing yourself and being able to find yourself again.
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel like this everyday, sometimes I struggle to believe this can happen to anywhere where you doubt who you are so much.
- Date posted
- 3y
Do you have a therapist that understands OCD and specializes in ERP? It would be nice if we could just pray or wish OCD away, but thats not how it works. The longer you go untreated, the worse your OCD will get. Recovery is possible, but it takes time and hard work. But through ERP, you can break the OCD cycle. No matter how many compulsions you do, OCD will never be satisfied. Doing compulsions offers short term relief and long term misery. ERP is not fun or easy. But ERP offers you short term misery and long term benefit. But only you can decide if you are ready to begin treatment. I lived with untreated OCD for 37 years. I didn't even know I had it. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety years ago and never thought to question it until this summer. Prior to that, my knowledge of OCD was very limited. I thought OCD was handwashing and liking things neat and organized. It was only when I learned about other subtypes that things really started clicking for me. ERP has been lifechanging. I haven't reached recovery yet, but I will get there.
- Date posted
- 3y
It seems so common to get misdiagnosed with anxiety. I’m so sorry, but glad as well you finally got the right diagnosis. I have read that because we are so often misdiagnosed, insurance companies are basically blind to the need for OCD treatment because we are within the anxiety bucket.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
You need to accept that change is will happen in ourselves with or without OCD. You are not your OCD, you are a person living WITH OCD. You are a million things. You are not just this one thing. Don’t let it tell you otherwise either. You can learn to live with your thoughts everyday and still be you. It doesn’t need to become your personality, but a small part of you. Everyone goes through a period with their OCD where they wish they could make it go away. But maybe you should stop to ask yourself, how bad will this really be if I learn to accept that this will be a part of me everyday. And recovery will not be linear, but I am strong enough to do exposures and not give into compulsions and learn to like who I am right in this moment.
- Date posted
- 3y
thank you so much ❤️ it's very challenging and throughout my life i've had on and off periods where i've felt like i've lost myself. i'm proud of you that you are being strong in your recovery, i'm trying to get brave enough to seek help, but i'm not so sure my insurance will pay for the kind of help i need. so i am trying to stay strong in any way i can. it is hard though, and there are some days where i just have to lean into my feelings and accept that these are mine even if they aren't necessarily factual. ❤️❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@stardustnchaos You can check the NOCD website to see if your insurance can cover, if not, NOCD is pretty affordable. You can always speak to your therapist about payment options too.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jesse Miller i have no money atm ❤️❤️ my insurance unfortunately doesn't pay for NOCD.
- Date posted
- 3y
@stardustnchaos Depending on your insurance, you can try to get a referral from your primary care provider to an outside provider if the insurance company doesn’t provide ERP. I’m trying to do that now and hope it works out. My insurance doesn’t usually cover out of network stuff.
- Date posted
- 3y
@azaleas good luck ❤️❤️ i might try that :)
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel like this all the time💕
- Date posted
- 3y
I was just thinking yesterday looking back on photos of me from about four years ago around/before ROCD started, I have since become significantly less smiley, and honestly most days just feel like a shell of myself. I just started ERP here and hoping for the best.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
back in october i made my first post about my specific type of ocd, how it mixes in with my day to day and how i “deal” with it. i talked about the starting point, how it gradually got worse, and then how it was going just a few months ago. i always think it’s insane how much can change in just the course of a small to a large amount of time. right now, i honestly feel like garbage. to be quite sincere i really want to give up, i’m barely holding on by a thread. and if i cut that thread, i really doubt anyone would care. i’ve never considered myself to be a suicidal person, and i still don’t consider myself that right now. it just gets to a point where it’s just, a lot to deal with. i don’t really enjoy things a lot nowadays. sure i have good days like everyone does, like today, when i was just enjoying my day without worries. but then it all comes crawling back twice as bad the following days. i take online college so i’m usually just stuck at home most of the time. but, when i do decide to actually go out and leave my house, my ocd just explodes because i have this whole routine i need to do or else i feel like i’ll contaminate wherever i end up going. i’m not going to go really deep into my compulsions because it’s hard enough to live with them, much more having to type them all out in detail. but when i go out my compulsions go from wiping down all my stuff i’m going to use after showering, to washing my clothes/cleaning the washer + dryer. i also have separate things (or two of the same thing) i use specifically in my house, and items i use when going out. such as shampoo/body wash, deodorant, lotion, hair curler, etc. as if that’s not draining enough, i also feel the need to fast a couple days prior to any plan i make because i’ve forced myself to believe i need to feel empty in order to be clean. i’m not sure if that’s my past eating disorder talking, or my ocd, but my brain can’t help but think any food in my house is utterly and completely contaminated. i’m so tired of this feeling, feeling like nothing will ever be clean again. feeling like my ocd is trapped in my childhood home. feeling that wave of diseases rushing through my veins the moment i step foot into what’s supposed to be “home”. and i’m so scared of therapy because what if i do get healed, and then everything comes rushing back the second i step into my room. i’m planning on moving somewhere far from my current house in this next coming year, so sometimes i feel like just waiting it out. but it’s insufferable when going to hangout with someone. i miss my friends, my family, and my partner. it’s crazy to me that i’m dealing with all this at the young age of 18 but, i’m sure lots of people have it way worse. i just want to find a way out, any possible way. but i keep pushing myself deeper and deeper that when i finally find a way, it will no longer exist.
- Date posted
- 21w
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
- Date posted
- 20w
some days I wake up with so much dread and guilt. It makes it so hard to keep going. I open my eyes and I’m hit with a wave of nausea and terror. I feel ashamed of my compulsions and my OCD. I feel like a monster for my checking compulsions. For momentarily sexualizing things that shouldn’t be sexualized out of anxiety. I’m ashamed of a lot that I give into because of anxiety. Confessing things that are meaningless to my boyfriend. I feel so awful and unworthy of existing and of love. I feel hopeless I don’t want to keep pushing, the more I push the more meta my OCD becomes and the more guilt I feel for this mental illness. The more confusing it becomes to do ERP. If compulsions are a choice, they feel like life or death and it’s driving me insane, I beat myself up so badly over them I’m scared of compulsions, I’m scared of thoughts, I’m scared to be awake, I’m even scared of sleeping because my intrusions and compulsions haunt me there too. I spend my dreams trying to explain or justify my OCD and compulsions to people. I’m exhausted, I want this to stop so badly. My severe OCD isn’t feeling any less severe and it’s been months. I don’t want to keep questioning my every move but I’m so hyperaware of everything I do. I’m so tired. Some days I don’t even have tears to cry with. I’m just so full of despair and shame
- Older adults with OCD
- BIPOC with OCD
- Students with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- POCD
- Harm OCD
- Real Events OCD
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond