- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Well said! OCD really sucks especially losing yourself and being able to find yourself again.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I feel like this everyday, sometimes I struggle to believe this can happen to anywhere where you doubt who you are so much.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Do you have a therapist that understands OCD and specializes in ERP? It would be nice if we could just pray or wish OCD away, but thats not how it works. The longer you go untreated, the worse your OCD will get. Recovery is possible, but it takes time and hard work. But through ERP, you can break the OCD cycle. No matter how many compulsions you do, OCD will never be satisfied. Doing compulsions offers short term relief and long term misery. ERP is not fun or easy. But ERP offers you short term misery and long term benefit. But only you can decide if you are ready to begin treatment. I lived with untreated OCD for 37 years. I didn't even know I had it. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety years ago and never thought to question it until this summer. Prior to that, my knowledge of OCD was very limited. I thought OCD was handwashing and liking things neat and organized. It was only when I learned about other subtypes that things really started clicking for me. ERP has been lifechanging. I haven't reached recovery yet, but I will get there.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It seems so common to get misdiagnosed with anxiety. I’m so sorry, but glad as well you finally got the right diagnosis. I have read that because we are so often misdiagnosed, insurance companies are basically blind to the need for OCD treatment because we are within the anxiety bucket.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
You need to accept that change is will happen in ourselves with or without OCD. You are not your OCD, you are a person living WITH OCD. You are a million things. You are not just this one thing. Don’t let it tell you otherwise either. You can learn to live with your thoughts everyday and still be you. It doesn’t need to become your personality, but a small part of you. Everyone goes through a period with their OCD where they wish they could make it go away. But maybe you should stop to ask yourself, how bad will this really be if I learn to accept that this will be a part of me everyday. And recovery will not be linear, but I am strong enough to do exposures and not give into compulsions and learn to like who I am right in this moment.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
thank you so much ❤️ it's very challenging and throughout my life i've had on and off periods where i've felt like i've lost myself. i'm proud of you that you are being strong in your recovery, i'm trying to get brave enough to seek help, but i'm not so sure my insurance will pay for the kind of help i need. so i am trying to stay strong in any way i can. it is hard though, and there are some days where i just have to lean into my feelings and accept that these are mine even if they aren't necessarily factual. ❤️❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@stardustnchaos You can check the NOCD website to see if your insurance can cover, if not, NOCD is pretty affordable. You can always speak to your therapist about payment options too.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Jesse Miller i have no money atm ❤️❤️ my insurance unfortunately doesn't pay for NOCD.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@stardustnchaos Depending on your insurance, you can try to get a referral from your primary care provider to an outside provider if the insurance company doesn’t provide ERP. I’m trying to do that now and hope it works out. My insurance doesn’t usually cover out of network stuff.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@azaleas good luck ❤️❤️ i might try that :)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I feel like this all the time💕
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I was just thinking yesterday looking back on photos of me from about four years ago around/before ROCD started, I have since become significantly less smiley, and honestly most days just feel like a shell of myself. I just started ERP here and hoping for the best.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w ago
I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"
- Date posted
- 20w ago
hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗
- Date posted
- 12w ago
I cannot for the life of me stop ruminating or checking how I feel about thoughts or focusing on thoughts or creating more thoughts. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I want to scream. I try not to ruminate about the thoughts, but trying not to just makes me think about them more. I try not to check, but somehow, I still check. I want to let a thought sit in the background, but the more I try not to focus on it, the more I end up focusing on it. I don’t want the thought to expand because that feels like engaging with it, but I can’t just stop it from expanding. It feels impossible. People keep saying I’m in control of my compulsions, and maybe that’s true for the physical ones. But when it comes to the mental compulsions, I swear I have no control. It feels like I’m missing something that everyone else seems to have, like there’s some tool they’re using that I don’t have. Controlling mental compulsions has never felt possible for me. I’m starting to fear them. And every time someone says I’m in control and can just choose not to do them, I end up beating myself up even more when they happen. Or when I *choose* I guess. I don’t know anymore. If this is my fault, if I’m responsible for this, then what does that make me? I feel like a monster. I am at my wits’ end. How am I supposed to control mental compulsions when it feels like they control me? I freak out when they happen. They don’t bring me relief, they just make me panic. I want it to stop so bad.
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