- Username
- stardustnchaos
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Well said! OCD really sucks especially losing yourself and being able to find yourself again.
I feel like this everyday, sometimes I struggle to believe this can happen to anywhere where you doubt who you are so much.
Do you have a therapist that understands OCD and specializes in ERP? It would be nice if we could just pray or wish OCD away, but thats not how it works. The longer you go untreated, the worse your OCD will get. Recovery is possible, but it takes time and hard work. But through ERP, you can break the OCD cycle. No matter how many compulsions you do, OCD will never be satisfied. Doing compulsions offers short term relief and long term misery. ERP is not fun or easy. But ERP offers you short term misery and long term benefit. But only you can decide if you are ready to begin treatment. I lived with untreated OCD for 37 years. I didn't even know I had it. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety years ago and never thought to question it until this summer. Prior to that, my knowledge of OCD was very limited. I thought OCD was handwashing and liking things neat and organized. It was only when I learned about other subtypes that things really started clicking for me. ERP has been lifechanging. I haven't reached recovery yet, but I will get there.
It seems so common to get misdiagnosed with anxiety. I’m so sorry, but glad as well you finally got the right diagnosis. I have read that because we are so often misdiagnosed, insurance companies are basically blind to the need for OCD treatment because we are within the anxiety bucket.
You need to accept that change is will happen in ourselves with or without OCD. You are not your OCD, you are a person living WITH OCD. You are a million things. You are not just this one thing. Don’t let it tell you otherwise either. You can learn to live with your thoughts everyday and still be you. It doesn’t need to become your personality, but a small part of you. Everyone goes through a period with their OCD where they wish they could make it go away. But maybe you should stop to ask yourself, how bad will this really be if I learn to accept that this will be a part of me everyday. And recovery will not be linear, but I am strong enough to do exposures and not give into compulsions and learn to like who I am right in this moment.
thank you so much ❤️ it's very challenging and throughout my life i've had on and off periods where i've felt like i've lost myself. i'm proud of you that you are being strong in your recovery, i'm trying to get brave enough to seek help, but i'm not so sure my insurance will pay for the kind of help i need. so i am trying to stay strong in any way i can. it is hard though, and there are some days where i just have to lean into my feelings and accept that these are mine even if they aren't necessarily factual. ❤️❤️
@stardustnchaos You can check the NOCD website to see if your insurance can cover, if not, NOCD is pretty affordable. You can always speak to your therapist about payment options too.
@Jesse Miller i have no money atm ❤️❤️ my insurance unfortunately doesn't pay for NOCD.
@stardustnchaos Depending on your insurance, you can try to get a referral from your primary care provider to an outside provider if the insurance company doesn’t provide ERP. I’m trying to do that now and hope it works out. My insurance doesn’t usually cover out of network stuff.
@azaleas good luck ❤️❤️ i might try that :)
I feel like this all the time💕
I was just thinking yesterday looking back on photos of me from about four years ago around/before ROCD started, I have since become significantly less smiley, and honestly most days just feel like a shell of myself. I just started ERP here and hoping for the best.
When I look at pictures of myself, I see a young woman who deserves a fulfilling life that is not dictated by OCD and anxiety. I feel sad that so much of my time, my energy, and my choices have been consumed by OCD. I spend so much time in my head, ruminating and worrying and trying so damn hard to figure out that one thing that my OCD urgently presses me to solve. Sometimes I don't enjoy things that I want to because I'm overwhelmed with my compulsions. I've struggled with this for years, and lately OCD has been telling me that the struggle will never end--that I'll never feel in control of my life. I know that this isn't true, but I'm so scared that it could be. My faith doesn't feel bigger than my fear right now. How do I change that? I don't want to live like this anymore. As I'm writing this, my OCD is telling me that I'm incapable of recovery, but I know I can recover. I deserve to recover. I'm in therapy with an OCD specialist outside of this app and I'm going to increase the frequency of my sessions from once a month to once a week because I deserve an amazing, fulfilling life. And to whoever is reading this, you do, too.
I don’t even know the wrong from the the right anymore I don’t even know how to talk to people without thinking that I offended them or spoke to them in a bad way I don’t even know what i became I don’t want what I became i just cry looking at my hands I cry looking at myself i feel pathetic I feel so desperate I was never this weak and now look at me not being able to control my own behaviors. What happened to the girl who always laughed and cared so much about herself the girl who loved nail polish and was so close to god in away no one imagined what happened to the girl who used to take full grades and be the smartest what happened to me. Isn’t it sad looking at myself with pity, helpless and full of doubt! I don’t deserve this. I know what’s I’m gonna say know sounds selfish but i do compare myself to others I wasn’t as bad as them so why me and not them! Why me !!... I’m loosing my mind I’m getting angry when I’m left alone I’m giving ocd the keys for the prison it made for me I’m letting it control me not that I want to but im not fighting back. Now im with no friends, with a family that doesn’t understand ocd, and a corrupted society that doesn’t value mental health. I’m so sad i feel like a baby rn but im actually so sad and lonely im conditioned now to believe that no one wants me, that im just a burden and need to be silent, not important and useless.... Idk even know what to say anymore
not THAT OCD related, but i’m so tired of looking in the mirror and picking apart the things that i feel are wrong with myself. after my first session with my therapist, she said i also have body dysmorphic disorder, which is commonly seen in people who have OCD. i’m not a person who cries easily, but this problem i have within myself almost brings me to tears often and eats at me every single day. i cant enjoy simple things without being fixated on how i look/my appearance while doing them. if i’m swimming in the pool, i’m thinking about how my face looks with my hair wet and get uncomfortable when i feel like someone is looking at me for too long. i feel uncomfortable in rooms with certain lighting. i adjust the angle or position my body is at while interacting with other people just because i’m concerned with how they’re seeing me. just a rant, feeling really defeated.
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