In the last two days, I was deeply sad and unmotivated (If you read my posts, I think you noticed it). So, today, I woke up "better". It's just like I'm in a tiny moment of clarity. I'm so sick of this. It isn't true, but it won't leave me alone. I just feel mentally and emotionally exhausted. And when it comes back, it just feels so real. OCD screams that I'm just in denial, and it takes all my will to live, like it's taking my identity and ripping it to shreds. "What ifs" flood my mind. It puts a weight on my heart. It makes me believe I need to "come out". It takes my attention from other areas of my life. I am always in a bad mood. I mistreat my parents. I'm cold towards my colleagues. This lie is destroying my life, treatment is expensive, and I have no one to talk about this who would really understand. If it wasn't for this app, I'd be completely alone in this dreadful illness.

I’m right here with you too!

I’m sorry I completely understand. It does feel real and makes you think “maybe it’s not an Illness and these are my actual thoughts “ in return freaks you out gives you major anxiety . I know this all too well. I’m currently dealing with this and everyday I wake up my heart hurts and always exhausted . But I’m not giving up and neither should you . We can fight through this.

Lavander, take comfort in the fact that at least one other person on this planet is going through the exact same thing as you are (me). And I know it’s not only me, as we’ve seen on this app. If you want to exchange social media information I would be willing, just so we can talk with people who truly understand! I just got the ‘Mindfulness Workbook for OCD’ in the mail and there is an entire chapter on HOCD. You should definitely get it too- I have heard really good things about it.

Thank you so much for all your support! Leah, I'm thinking about making a post here to try to gather up some people with hocd, so we can make a group that's more accessible than this app (just trying to gather up some courage haha) And idont241, I've heard about this mood Smith course, but I never got around to actually finding out what it's about. I'll give it a look, thanks for the advice!

Could anybody exchange social media with me? I would love somebody to talk too

Okay great!!:) I’m trying to think of the best way to do a group chat. Is Kik still a thing? You don’t need people’s phone numbers for that do you?

Yeah kik is a thing! Just usernames what’s your username?

Yeah! Sure. How about Instagram?

hollystephanie5

I just saw that I was added to an Instagram group about hocd

If you are comfortable woth it, you can drop your Instagram usernames and I can get you in as well!

Can you add me to Snapchat, please? my username is tappingangel101

I don’t remember my old account haha. We can wait for Lavander to make a post about it and then see if everyone wants to use kik!:)

Oh, I’m also in another NOCD snapchat group chat I can add you to!:) What’s your snapchat?

Added you!

hollbrindley

Let me know when you’re adding people!:)

Okay! There's already three other people there, so by now, it makes us five. Feel free to add more people from here as you wish!