- Username
- Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Hey man. I think I remember you a while back. I change my name a lot so you may not know me. But it’s really nice to see you again
Sorry if it’s out of the blue. I’ve been off this app for a while and I just recently came back and I remember some ppl and it’s nice to see them
@Orange juice Hello mate what was your name before?
@Ihateocd83 I honestly don’t remember it’s been months
@Orange juice Did we speak alot ?
@Ihateocd83 Not that much but I do remember seeing your name around the same time I’m on this app too
@Orange juice Feel free to chat to me anytime mate
@Ihateocd83 Yeah fs
Some people cling to the feelings of disgust because at least it “proves” to them that they don’t want or like their intrusive thoughts. But disgust isn’t necessary and it isn’t even really proof. It’s okay if the thoughts that have repeated in your head again and again and again start to lose their edge. It’s like watching a suspenseful movie over and over, eventually you remember all of the scary parts and it no longer makes you afraid anymore. But it’s still a suspense movie. And these are still intrusive thoughts. Are you seeing an ocd specialist?
Do you have any input on this thanks.....
I was yes but no success. I don't think this is ocd anymore. I've obsessed about this so much. I don't feel like there is any hope for me some days I feel better but never good. I just feel separated from life and. I just feel like saying ok I'm gay to get this over with but I just can't and I don't think I ever could. I never had nothing through school. This popped up when I was 22 I'm 39 now last couple of years the feelings are just to much. Thoughts like I want to be with a man etc. Makes me sad 😔
I think you should try working with an ocd specialist again. If the last one didn’t work out, try another. Sometimes we just need someone we can connect with.
@pureolife It's money tho. I don't have the funds
@pureolife Is this normal behaviour for ocd ?
@Ihateocd83 I believe many of the ocd specialists on this app take insurance. And I know it can be expensive and feels unfair that other people don’t have to plan for things like this, but this is worth saving for and prioritizing in your life. Many things are expensive and we find ways to sacrifice and budget and get them. There are also options like group therapy which is generally cheaper. And if you can find a therapist who works on a sliding scale, they can offer you a lower rate and payment plan.
I find that I deal with more intrusive/unwanted feelings than thoughts. But few mental health advocates (that I have found) talk about this. Can anyone relate to having more unwanted feelings/sensations than thoughts?
Hey I really need someone to help me so please reply if you can. But basically I'm still getting LOADS of intrusive thoughts about this theme, but the thing is I have zero distress about it. The idea still bothers me and i still realise i don't want to be with a girl, but even imagining scenarios does not bother me at all anymore. Like i realise it is not that bad so i don't need to be disgusted by it but the fact that I'm not disgusted by it anymore makes me feel like i want it or something. I just want to be with a man.
So I’m going to college soon and every time I think about it, I feel like the odd one out because of my intrusive thoughts. Like I literally feel like an “intruder” going to school because of how my thoughts make me feel. This is also every time I talk to my friends, my brain is like “your friends are talking to a future criminal”. I just feel like I don’t deserve to be there and have good memories and like my thoughts are inevitable. I feel like a completely different person from who I was before June. Of course I have had these thoughts throughout my life, but nothing that stuck longer than a week or two. It’s so weird how one day your perfectly happy and the other you feel like a completely different person. Furthermore, while these thoughts don’t make me happy and provide anxiety, those feelings feel so forced sometimes. Also I’m sure a lot of us do this, but when I think of the thought and want to feel disgust (as one does), it feels like I’m forcing that feeling. During the beginning of June I was nauseated by these thoughts and crying most days, now they just feel annoying more than anything because there’s nothing I can really do to provide relief. I constantly am questioning whether this is me or not and at this point I don’t even know. I feel like the thoughts have gradually went from making me want to vomit to questioning whether I would actually do it. Anyone else?
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