Gotta delete

Help me! I acted on a compulsion and now I feel like want to keep doing it. I’m scared. I had been doing okay for these past two days but idk. What should I do?

I’ve been trying my best with ERP and just everything that’s going on. I have severe OCD, GAD, PMDD, panic disorder, recently diagnosed ADHD, and currently experiencing a major depressive episode. Apparently. I was taking a break from this app but I really need support right now. My family is honestly really mean and not understanding of what I’m going through. Right now it’s gotten bad to the point I had to withdrawal from my last semester of university. My only support is my boyfriend and he’s now planning to join the military. I won’t be able to talk to him for 3 months and I feel really scared of being alone with all of this. I know I shouldn’t depend on him to begin with but right now I’m at an extremely low point and I feel like I won’t make it alone. There hasn’t been a single day we haven’t texted and talked in 4 years. I feel really scared, but I don’t want to hold him back. You guys, I feel so sad and terrified right now. I don’t want him to go, he’s all I have.

Hi I kept seeing this app on repeat on TikTok over and over and I thought I give it a shot. I have never been diagnosed with OCD but I know that I have it. I’m a young adult and I found out the first time I had OCD was watching lelelons truth video? I was 14 at the time She had to resist sitting back down in a chair after her having sat down she started having a mental break down when she was told to resist. That’s when I knew. It started with myself going up and down a staircase twice buckling unbuckling my seat belt everytime I’m in the car ect I have always been super anti social but trying my best I can socialize but my mind wants to make it sexual with family and friends ughhhh I hate it because that’s not me when I graduated thoughts of hurting my loved ones corrupted my mind I broke down outside of church one time asking if this was really me or not i question if I’m a good enough friend or person in this world to begin with thinking everyone is judging me so so close how can I make this situation better did I do something wrong I struggle with depression as well not to bad but it’s there I come from a loving family but broken as well i believe in god and my OCD makes me go often he’s not real that stuff isn’t real no one is there to save you the list goes on. Anyway I struggle a lot and I really hope that this will help me because I feel extremely hopeless. Lucky for me I do have the ability to seek therapy and I am excited. The only person I ever tell my thoughts to is God no other human has heard so I’m really really hoping this helps me out if your reading this thank you it means a lot because this is my first time ever admitting all this it’s a lot to take in I know and I hope you are ok and that you have a great night and know that we got this