How to ignore a need for reassurance?

Sometimes I am triggered so badly that if I don’t receive automatic reassurance or consolation it feels like the OCD attack will linger until I ultimately seek out the compulsion (typically confessing to my mother or a therapist.) How do you go about your day when something so huge is nagging you? I need to go on a drive and visit my father but what I really want right now is for someone (usually an authority figure) to tell me that it is all OK.

Username: adaptocdadaptocd

Date posted: 2y ago

Hi there, I also experience seeking reassurance as a compulsion. It can feel like a buildup on your mind until you’re able to release it to someone. However, it’s important to recognize that each time we are reassured, we are reinforcing the OCD. Consider reassurance seeking like picking at a wound. It may be satisfying to pick at it, but ultimately it’s delaying the healing process which requires us to leave it be. Be mindful that short term pain of not having reassurance is long term gain for the freedom to live without it. I’ve also experienced tremendous relief by practicing ERP for this compulsion. Take so much care!

Username: Can and will🌻Can and will🌻

Date posted: 2y ago

@EmmaKN How have you practiced ERP for the compulsion?

Username: willow93willow93

Date posted: 2y ago

@EmmaKN Thank you so much for this reply! I’ll keep this in mind. You take great care, too! One day at a time 👍

Username: adaptocdadaptocd

Date posted: 2y ago

@Can and will🌻 Exposing yourself to the feeling of being unable to confess or receive reassurance and practice living with the uncertainty of not knowing.

Username: Can and will🌻Can and will🌻

Date posted: 2y ago

@EmmaKN Awesome. :)

Username: Can and will🌻Can and will🌻

Date posted: 2y ago

Thanks for asking this- I asked this the other day too.

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 2y ago

Check this out:https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/reassurance-is-actually-making-you-less-assured

Username: Jeffrey Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

I am sorry you are having a hard time. Speaking for myself it is hard to not do a compulsion at certain times of stress. And considering I have had ocd for 40 years it is hard to break that cycle. That is why ERP is so very important. ERP teaches how to live with ocd and to resist compulsions, which in the end only make the ocd stronger. I would take this approach as it has helped me - when the urge to compulse is so strong, ask yourself is it worth compulsing if I am only going to get a few minutes of relief ? Or maybe I can practice my erp - and delay the compulsion for 10 minutes and see where I am. I remind myself that although I may feel better at the moment, the obsession will come back stronger. I know it’s hard but if you can delay the compulsion even that is good.

Username: sams07

Date posted: 5y ago

People who have experienced ROCD- I had a rough day yesterday with my boyfriend due to acting on some compulsions. My compulsion is to seek reassurance. It was just not a good night because he was getting impatient, I was getting sensitive.. just not good. Anyway, we’re good now, but I just feel uneasy. My OCD always continues because after I complete a compulsion, I feel guilty and then I get more irrational thoughts that my boyfriend will leave me... thus I seek more reassurance. How do I get out of this insecure space in my head WITHOUT seeking reassurance again? Does this last a long time?

Username: Chrissy_27

Date posted: 5y ago

The only way I seem to get over my obsessions is to find reassurance from someone ? How do I stop this AND stop the anxiety that comes with the obsessions?

Username: lissy

Date posted: 5y ago

I keep obsessing that my boyfriend is disappointed in me / annoyed for a situation that happened and I keep asking for reassurance which he keeps providing. I know I shouldn’t ask as the ocd wants that, and it’s going in circles. Does anyone have any advice on what to do to get over the discomfort ? My ocd literally anytime there is an awkward moment or argument gives me the thought see things are ruined you ruined them and now they’ll never ever be the same. But my partner moves on quickly and says it was no big deal. Sitting with the anxiety and doing nothing isn’t working , I keep giving into reassurance seeking....I have tried distract skills like tv , internet , music, but then without fail by the end of the day it’s back on my mind. Ugh ?

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