How to ignore a need for reassurance?

Sometimes I am triggered so badly that if I don’t receive automatic reassurance or consolation it feels like the OCD attack will linger until I ultimately seek out the compulsion (typically confessing to my mother or a therapist.) How do you go about your day when something so huge is nagging you? I need to go on a drive and visit my father but what I really want right now is for someone (usually an authority figure) to tell me that it is all OK.

Username: adaptocdadaptocd

Date posted: 1y ago

Hi there, I also experience seeking reassurance as a compulsion. It can feel like a buildup on your mind until you’re able to release it to someone. However, it’s important to recognize that each time we are reassured, we are reinforcing the OCD. Consider reassurance seeking like picking at a wound. It may be satisfying to pick at it, but ultimately it’s delaying the healing process which requires us to leave it be. Be mindful that short term pain of not having reassurance is long term gain for the freedom to live without it. I’ve also experienced tremendous relief by practicing ERP for this compulsion. Take so much care!

Username: Can and will🌻Can and will🌻

Date posted: 1y ago

@EmmaKN How have you practiced ERP for the compulsion?

Username: willow93willow93

Date posted: 1y ago

@EmmaKN Thank you so much for this reply! I’ll keep this in mind. You take great care, too! One day at a time 👍

Username: adaptocdadaptocd

Date posted: 1y ago

@Can and will🌻 Exposing yourself to the feeling of being unable to confess or receive reassurance and practice living with the uncertainty of not knowing.

Username: Can and will🌻Can and will🌻

Date posted: 1y ago

@EmmaKN Awesome. :)

Username: Can and will🌻Can and will🌻

Date posted: 1y ago

Thanks for asking this- I asked this the other day too.

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

Check this out:https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/reassurance-is-actually-making-you-less-assured

Username: Jeffrey Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I am sorry you are having a hard time. Speaking for myself it is hard to not do a compulsion at certain times of stress. And considering I have had ocd for 40 years it is hard to break that cycle. That is why ERP is so very important. ERP teaches how to live with ocd and to resist compulsions, which in the end only make the ocd stronger. I would take this approach as it has helped me - when the urge to compulse is so strong, ask yourself is it worth compulsing if I am only going to get a few minutes of relief ? Or maybe I can practice my erp - and delay the compulsion for 10 minutes and see where I am. I remind myself that although I may feel better at the moment, the obsession will come back stronger. I know it’s hard but if you can delay the compulsion even that is good.

Username: $K22

Date posted: 1y ago

Is it okay to talk to my mom for reassurance?

I don’t want to give in to my compulsions of reassurance seeking for my real event OCD, but I’m feeling super alone and am really struggling. My mom really understands me and I could use some comfort over what I’m specifically anxious about, which I think would be better than seeking it from anyone else. I know that she would tell me what I already know, which is that it’s okay and I’m not a bad person, I just really need to hear it and know that I’m not alone.

Username: KevinL

Date posted: 1y ago

Reassurance

I don’t want to voice my OCD because I feel like I am reassurance seeking! But not voicing it makes you feel so alone! Any tips?

Username: SomaticSun🌤️

Date posted: 46w ago

This is why reassurance seeking is NOT so bad

When OCD strikes, and you turn to someone who knows you struggle and they say, Oh come on, you’ve been through this one before, and you always beat it. You know what to do. ^ This right here gives you some encouragement and makes you feel not so alone in battling the mind demon. And for the people who say yeah but that makes the OCD come back and you shouldn’t rely on others blah blah blah Well guess what? OCD comes back anyway. It always does, whether you tough it out or ask for some reassurance that you can, have, and will beat this thing Why not ask for support and comfort, when the struggle is real. It’s almost like not telling your problems to a therapist, and forcing yourself to suffer alone. Just my thoughts..

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How to ignore a need for reassurance?

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