- Date posted
- 1y ago
Astonished, a bit disappointed
My post from yesterday says Joke time. I asked you to post your favorite jokes. I posted 3 jokes. Nobody even responded, let alone took time to think about something funny. Only Pennyroyal responded. Is there really nothing else left for us in life but persistent anxiety, worry, doubt, compulsions just because we have ocd? This community is here for us to share experiences, express our worries, moods, feelings, thoughts. It is great, life-saving even. But if you think about it, after reading about all the pain and sorrow people with ocd are experiencing, I get scared, sad, demoralized with the world. It's like living in hell on earth. We need motivation. We need relaxation. Meds can help. ERP can help, compassion therapy as well. But they do not always help. Not for every person with ocd. So l thought we might want to help them by thinking of more pleasant things in life. Every second of each day I am super aware that I have ocd. It doesn't let me forget. Each second of every day I know how much I've lost because of OCD. I've had it since 1987. That's a looooong time. I have ruined a lot in my life because I did everything ocd told me to:to worry, to feel unsafe, insecure, unloved, lonely, to not trust anyone but mostly not myself,... It is bad when OCD is the only one who sticks with you, your only friend, your only family member, the only one who tells you it loves you. Once you've realized that your only friend is a liar and a sadist you are at the bottom of a barrel. Two days ago I was thinking about how much easier it would be if I just ended my life. Right then. And believe you me, I have all the pills I need to do that right here at my arm's reach. But I don't want to. I love life, but don't know how to go on. I asked for someone to just say sth nice about life, to say chin up, or just say that they understand because they've been there, but it passes. I got no response. So I waited and waited for depression to get less intense. When it did I decided to try and bring some joy, laughter, relaxation in our lives. I posted 3 jokes and I asked you to do the same. Even a short knock knock joke would do. Nothing. I am not going to read anything in NOCD community for a few days. I need time off from suffering, sadness, pain. There's a lot of that here. Since we can't make it go away, we can try to soften it and try to prevent it. I don't have the possibility or the money to afford ERP. But relaxation, a walk in the nature, playing with pets,... and laughing don't cost anything, do not take anything from us, they just give and give. And they give the opposite of what ocd gives. Is it so hard to laugh? So hard to even just read a joke and like it. To respond obviously takes too much time away from worrying and daubting and eating yourself alive. It will make me happy if I see at least some response from you, a joke, a funny true story, anything when I log in next time. If not, I will delite it all and give NOCD community a break for a while. We are here to share experience and hardship, but also to support each other. Kind words can help, advice as well, but when you log out, you are still alone with your ocd, and thinking about a funny story or a joke that you've just read, can linger with you for a while and make you feel nore relaxed. I have never decided to have ocd. I didn't choose it. It chose me. I am not going to help it. I am going to fight it with all there is out there and has the slightest possibility to help. Have a beautiful day. Smile. Tell a joke, read a joke. Life is to short to focus on worrying constantly. We do that anyway. Just don't give it extra power. Love to all.