- Username
- Phie
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Alright let’s talk about harm OCD, like the fear that you might commit suicide. So you get that suicidal thought , and you think OMG I’m suicidal what if kill myself. And of course to calm that thought down you try to reassure yourself that you will never do that. Then you get into a cycle where your OCD thinks about suicide and you compulsively tell yourself that you won’t right. That mental reassurance is basically your compulsion. So what do you do ? Well I started reading on Exposure response therapy and it said you need to actually think about that thought and let it run wild. When I did it , I actually pictured ways I would do it and started reading stories of celebrities who committed suicide. Basically you do anything that can actually heighten your anxiety due to suicide , and you don’t don’t reassure yourself that you’re not capable of it. I know I thought I sounded counterproductive but I did it and suicide is becoming less of an obsessive thought with me. Again I’m not expert I just saw some progress and decided to get professional erp therapy
Have this same theme. It blows
Don’t give up!!! Keep fighting! Everyday has its own challenges but tomorrow will be better!! Remember try to remember you have an illness!! Just like someone who has diabetes! You can cope with it! Just remember it’s ocd! Don’t let it get you down! And don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad! Just like no one would make someone feel bad about having diabetes, you shouldn’t feel bad about having ocd
Hey! Don’t give up. I know it’s tough. I’m feeling the same way today as well, but just hold on to the little hope you may have. Be willing to be willing to see things in a different light. No one has to understand what you’re going through, just you! ?
Phie, hold on & don’t give up? I have been there many times. If you can, try to think that tomorrow will be better. I’m sorry about your mom. Mine has betrayed me in other ways so I think I can understand your feelings. And NEVER apologize for expressing your sad feelings!!!! ( By the way, do you live in the UK? I wondered, when you called your mom “mum”. I live in the US & my dream is to someday visit the UK!)
Phie, this is knitter again. I had typed a lot more but it disappeared. Anyway, I’ll try again. I know it’s really hard, but try to think that tomorrow will be better. I have felt like you are feeling so often. I’m sorry about your mom. Mine has betrayed me too. But try to remember there are us people out here to help. ( By the way, do you live in the UK? When you called your mother “mum”, I wondered. I live in the US & my dream is to visit the UK! )
And my dream is to live in the UK!)
Not sure what’s going on with my phone that it doesn’t type everything ???
You’re very welcome Phie! How coincidental about our dreams!! ?
Thanks & same for you!! Maybe we could be exchange students for each other ?
And same for you! Maybe we could be exchange students with each other ? ( my phone is acting out again ?)
Keep fighting ! You may be down but not out ! You got this !!!
And maybe look into exposure response therapy , I did some basic techniques and it really helped. I’m gonna start getting professional ERP therapy next week
Yeah, Phie- an international group! As the song goes “We Are The World”. And yeah, RedMax, ERP is a great suggestion. I’m doing it & it is helping.
And it’s helping.
You’re totally right, Knitter! RedMax and Knitter, what do you do in ERP?
Oh if your ocd is more internal based off memories or intrusive thoughts , you need to actually think more of that thought or memory. Make your anxiety spike as high as you can , eventually your body gets use to it. Never NEVER reassure yourself , reassurance is the enemy and just makes you start arguing with yourself until your brain explodes.
And this will cause someone to fall ill or die. So I rinse them repeatedly. The Exposure is to only rinse them one time only. If this causes anxiety ( which it does horribly! ), I have to refrain from rinsing again. I sit down & record my emotions & physical sensations ( like chest pounding, shaky hands,etc )& note when they decrease &/or disappear. This way, I have physical proof that the anxiety DOES get better. It’s like a scientific experiment. Since I haven’t mastered this compulsion yet, I repeat the exposure daily.
RedMax, thank you for explaining. I’m never really sure what people are talking about when they mention reassurance though?
Yep, it sure is. Sorry! If you can’t find a therapist to guide you, there is an excellent book called “The OCD Workbook” (Third Edition) by Bruce Hyman, Ph.D. & Cherry Pedrick, RN that explains it better than I can. If your library or bookstore doesn’t have it, I found it on Amazon for about 16 US dollars. Good Luck!!
And Cherry Pedrick, RN.
I found it on Amazon for about 16 US dollars if your bookstore doesn’t have it.
Ideally, a therapist is the most helpful, but hopefully the book will help.
RedMax, thanks that makes much more sense now. It does sound pretty counterproductive, but if you’ve found it helped then I’m sure it can’t hurt for me to give it a go
My stupid phone ? Good Luck & stay in touch!!
And stay in touch!!
You’re welcome Phie!
And thank you, too!! ?
No prob phie, you got this !
I’m sorry?. OCD sucks and I feel like this a lot too. Just remember that it will get better. And there are always people on this app who understand. Just keep fighting because you don’t deserve to live this way. We are all here for you!
Same! And no problem! We’re all in this together
Hi Na. You’re right, I know that, it’s just so difficult ?. Thank you for your reply though - at least we all have each other on here ?
Thank you Wes ?
Hi Knitter, I have no idea what’s going on with your phone but it’s very strange ?. Thank you for your message, it always helps knowing that I’m not the only one ?. And yes I do live in the UK, and it’s funny because I would actually love to live in the US someday!
Well I hope you are able to come and live here one day! ?
Ha it could be like group ocd therapy! ?
Thank you RedMax, I’m trying my best!
You confront your obsession by NOT doing the compulsion. In my case I have an obsession that if I don’t rinse the dishes enough after washing them, there will be soap remaining on them & it might cause someone to become ill or even die from the dish soap. So, I usually rinse them excessively & in a certain order. So the treatment is for me to only rinse them one time & change the order. Now, that makes me VERY anxious, but I cannot repeat the rinsing. I have to walk away & “sit” with my anxiety until it subsides to a tolerable level or goes away. I write down all my emotions & physical sensations ( like chest pounding, shaky hands,etc ) & note when they decrease &/or go away. That way, I can see that my anxiety does subside with time. It gives me physical proof. So it’s like a scientific experiment. Now, because I haven’t mastered my compulsion yet, I repeat this “exposure” daily. It’s very helpful if you can find a therapist to help guide you, but if not, there is an excellent book “The OCD Workbook”( Third Edition ) by Bruce Hyman & Cherry Pedrick you can try. I found it on Amazon if your library or bookstore doesn’t have it. It cost me about 16 US dollars for a new one. Good Luck!
Knitter, I think your phones still playing up ?
Knitter, thanks for the suggestion. I’ll have to give it a read
Thanks Knitter - you too! ?
a_panda00 thank you, so grateful for the support on here ☺️
I feel like my thoughts have been getting worse and I ruminate a lot. This morning I told myself I wasn’t going to let the thoughts get to me but it’s hard. Than the anxiety kicks in and my heart starts racing so fast and I just have these intrusive thoughts. And I don’t want to do the things I normally do to feel better but I feel like I don’t do my compulsion I will end up doing what my intrusive thoughts are and it scares me. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so scared. I want to get out of this cycle but I lack discipline and strength. I don’t know if I’ll ever get out of this. I want to get better but I can’t seem to ignore the thoughts or the feelings. I wish I could be like some of the people on here who can discipline and know thoughts are thoughts. I’m just so weak minded. It’s so hard, I want my life back before I had all these disgusting thoughts. I want me back and I don’t know if I ever will. I’m scared that erp won’t work for me. I’m just so pessimistic. I’m scared of doing erp and coming out of it realizing I am those things. Everyday I wake up it’s like I’m trying to survive. I worry about when night comes and what will happen if I sleep and if I’ll be able to get sleep. I worry about waking and waking up to me checking to make sure everyone in my house is okay. To make sure I didn’t do thoughts that I had about my family members. I feel guilty being around my family members because of the thoughts I have about them. I’m afraid of being alone with them for too long because I’m scared that the anxiety will get to me and I’ll do something disgusting. I just don’t understand why this happened to me and why I have to suffer. Everyday is a constant battle. I just want to give up or just move away. Maybe even get up start a new life where I just live alone and don’t hurt nobody. This is so hard and I hate it so much. If you read my rant, thank you💗.
I just don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’m so fed up of the way my OCD makes me feel, plagued with thoughts that I hate my son, I don’t love my partner, I want to die, my life is pointless. I’m trying so hard, I’m doin ERP, I’m trying to carry on my life as normal but I just feel SO depressed. I am convinced that I am stuck like this forever now, clearly nothing is working and I’m just ready to give up 😢
Feeling utterly hopeless at the moment 😔 I’ll have hours in a day where I’m able to resist compulsions and live a ‘normal’ life. Then one little thing will cause me to have a complete meltdown and be unable to function. I feel like I’m never going to get better
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