I give up. Every day is more difficult than the last. I’m getting more and more compulsions that make no sense and seem to be coming out of nowhere. My brain is so full and I am so tired. I feel like everything is getting worse and my mum is so far from being understanding, she makes me feel so pathetic and stupid and acts as if I’m choosing to feel this way. I don’t know how to carry on. I just give up ?. I hope you’re all doing well, sorry for being so negative.

Alright let’s talk about harm OCD, like the fear that you might commit suicide. So you get that suicidal thought , and you think OMG I’m suicidal what if kill myself. And of course to calm that thought down you try to reassure yourself that you will never do that. Then you get into a cycle where your OCD thinks about suicide and you compulsively tell yourself that you won’t right. That mental reassurance is basically your compulsion. So what do you do ? Well I started reading on Exposure response therapy and it said you need to actually think about that thought and let it run wild. When I did it , I actually pictured ways I would do it and started reading stories of celebrities who committed suicide. Basically you do anything that can actually heighten your anxiety due to suicide , and you don’t don’t reassure yourself that you’re not capable of it. I know I thought I sounded counterproductive but I did it and suicide is becoming less of an obsessive thought with me. Again I’m not expert I just saw some progress and decided to get professional erp therapy

Don’t give up!!! Keep fighting! Everyday has its own challenges but tomorrow will be better!! Remember try to remember you have an illness!! Just like someone who has diabetes! You can cope with it! Just remember it’s ocd! Don’t let it get you down! And don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad! Just like no one would make someone feel bad about having diabetes, you shouldn’t feel bad about having ocd

Hey! Don’t give up. I know it’s tough. I’m feeling the same way today as well, but just hold on to the little hope you may have. Be willing to be willing to see things in a different light. No one has to understand what you’re going through, just you! ?

Phie, hold on & don’t give up? I have been there many times. If you can, try to think that tomorrow will be better. I’m sorry about your mom. Mine has betrayed me in other ways so I think I can understand your feelings. And NEVER apologize for expressing your sad feelings!!!! ( By the way, do you live in the UK? I wondered, when you called your mom “mum”. I live in the US & my dream is to someday visit the UK!)

Phie, this is knitter again. I had typed a lot more but it disappeared. Anyway, I’ll try again. I know it’s really hard, but try to think that tomorrow will be better. I have felt like you are feeling so often. I’m sorry about your mom. Mine has betrayed me too. But try to remember there are us people out here to help. ( By the way, do you live in the UK? When you called your mother “mum”, I wondered. I live in the US & my dream is to visit the UK! )

And my dream is to live in the UK!)

Not sure what’s going on with my phone that it doesn’t type everything ???

You’re very welcome Phie! How coincidental about our dreams!! ?

Thanks & same for you!! Maybe we could be exchange students for each other ?

And same for you! Maybe we could be exchange students with each other ? ( my phone is acting out again ?)

Keep fighting ! You may be down but not out ! You got this !!!

And maybe look into exposure response therapy , I did some basic techniques and it really helped. I’m gonna start getting professional ERP therapy next week

Yeah, Phie- an international group! As the song goes “We Are The World”. And yeah, RedMax, ERP is a great suggestion. I’m doing it & it is helping.

And it’s helping.

You’re totally right, Knitter! RedMax and Knitter, what do you do in ERP?

Oh if your ocd is more internal based off memories or intrusive thoughts , you need to actually think more of that thought or memory. Make your anxiety spike as high as you can , eventually your body gets use to it. Never NEVER reassure yourself , reassurance is the enemy and just makes you start arguing with yourself until your brain explodes.

And this will cause someone to fall ill or die. So I rinse them repeatedly. The Exposure is to only rinse them one time only. If this causes anxiety ( which it does horribly! ), I have to refrain from rinsing again. I sit down & record my emotions & physical sensations ( like chest pounding, shaky hands,etc )& note when they decrease &/or disappear. This way, I have physical proof that the anxiety DOES get better. It’s like a scientific experiment. Since I haven’t mastered this compulsion yet, I repeat the exposure daily.

RedMax, thank you for explaining. I’m never really sure what people are talking about when they mention reassurance though?

Yep, it sure is. Sorry! If you can’t find a therapist to guide you, there is an excellent book called “The OCD Workbook” (Third Edition) by Bruce Hyman, Ph.D. & Cherry Pedrick, RN that explains it better than I can. If your library or bookstore doesn’t have it, I found it on Amazon for about 16 US dollars. Good Luck!!

And Cherry Pedrick, RN.

I found it on Amazon for about 16 US dollars if your bookstore doesn’t have it.

Ideally, a therapist is the most helpful, but hopefully the book will help.

RedMax, thanks that makes much more sense now. It does sound pretty counterproductive, but if you’ve found it helped then I’m sure it can’t hurt for me to give it a go

My stupid phone ? Good Luck & stay in touch!!

And stay in touch!!

You’re welcome Phie!

And thank you, too!! ?

No prob phie, you got this !

I’m sorry?. OCD sucks and I feel like this a lot too. Just remember that it will get better. And there are always people on this app who understand. Just keep fighting because you don’t deserve to live this way. We are all here for you!

Same! And no problem! We’re all in this together

Hi Na. You’re right, I know that, it’s just so difficult ?. Thank you for your reply though - at least we all have each other on here ?

Thank you Wes ?

Hi Knitter, I have no idea what’s going on with your phone but it’s very strange ?. Thank you for your message, it always helps knowing that I’m not the only one ?. And yes I do live in the UK, and it’s funny because I would actually love to live in the US someday!

Well I hope you are able to come and live here one day! ?

Ha it could be like group ocd therapy! ?

Thank you RedMax, I’m trying my best!

You confront your obsession by NOT doing the compulsion. In my case I have an obsession that if I don’t rinse the dishes enough after washing them, there will be soap remaining on them & it might cause someone to become ill or even die from the dish soap. So, I usually rinse them excessively & in a certain order. So the treatment is for me to only rinse them one time & change the order. Now, that makes me VERY anxious, but I cannot repeat the rinsing. I have to walk away & “sit” with my anxiety until it subsides to a tolerable level or goes away. I write down all my emotions & physical sensations ( like chest pounding, shaky hands,etc ) & note when they decrease &/or go away. That way, I can see that my anxiety does subside with time. It gives me physical proof. So it’s like a scientific experiment. Now, because I haven’t mastered my compulsion yet, I repeat this “exposure” daily. It’s very helpful if you can find a therapist to help guide you, but if not, there is an excellent book “The OCD Workbook”( Third Edition ) by Bruce Hyman & Cherry Pedrick you can try. I found it on Amazon if your library or bookstore doesn’t have it. It cost me about 16 US dollars for a new one. Good Luck!

Knitter, I think your phones still playing up ?

Knitter, thanks for the suggestion. I’ll have to give it a read

Thanks Knitter - you too! ?

a_panda00 thank you, so grateful for the support on here ☺️