Deleted post.

Date posted: 1y

Not sure of your theme, mine is SOOCD/ROCD, and I feel you. It’s like you went from being sure and confident in who you were as a person (wants/desires/needs/etc) to someone who feels so unsure about who you are. Your mind is telling you that you want these things, even though you don’t think you do. It makes you feel guilty. And it all feels inevitable. It’s like - you feel like you have to do something that you really don’t want to. At least … that’s my horrible experience with this.

My OCD Academia

Date posted: 1y

@gp 100% my experience too gp. I don’t know who I am anymore and when I say I know I’m straight, it feels like I’m telling a lie or i’m just trying to convince myself of something that’s not true. I feel so helpless sometimes

ctmont

Date posted: 1y

I have definitely been where you’ve are. I’ve been married for ten years and we have 2 kids. I have had moments where I’ve slipped away to cry in the bathroom by myself because the thoughts have been so overwhelming. “You’re wasting his time. You’re not being true to yourself.” ERP is the only way to make the thoughts shut up. Just met with my therapist a few days ago after a recent lapse. Just tell yourself “ok, maybe that is what I want. Thanks for letting me know, OCD.” Try not to feed into the thoughts and fall down the rabbit hole. Grounding yourself in the present moment is also super helpful. Telling yourself “this will pass. I’m safe.”

Date posted: 1y

@ctmont Hi. Thank you so much for responding. When you first overcame your SOOCD, was it purely with ERP? How did you move past the “feeling that it’s true”? Did you just have to relentlessly accept the thoughts and how they made you feel, that they felt real and just power on with your life? Any tips for someone who is really struggling with being stuck at this feeling true/real that I fall over with ERP ?

ctmont

Date posted: 1y

@gp That’s exactly what you do. To be honest, I have had lapses but you just need to trust your values and continue to tell yourself “thanks for the reminder, ocd but I’ve got this.” It’s not easy and at times it still feels impossible but the lapses are temporary.

Lucapup1!

Date posted: 1y

It’s a horrible feeling. When I start to feel this way I practice gratitude in my head. Even for the smallest things. Like the roof over my head

Ditto

Date posted: 1y

Same

ocdsurviver

Date posted: 23w

I’m tired

I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’ve lost so much weight due to this mental illness. I sleep 18 hours a day to escape these thoughts. I grieve my old self so much. I miss crushing on men, I miss loving men, I miss dressing up nice and get compliments from men, I miss listening to music and daydream about my dream man. I miss wanting to get married and have my own kids with my dream husband. All of those things… I’ve desired them so much and I’ve daydreamed about them so much. My OCD is telling me that it’s all fake. I miss my old desire and love for men. I’m so tired of being alive. I’m so tired of seeing multiple posts where people who apparently suffered from SOOCD became their fears. I’m so tired. Cause y’all probably didn’t even have ocd in the first place idc. I will say it again, has it been someone with pocd or harm ocd and their obsessions/fears became true NONE of y’all would’ve had the same reaction. Stop normalizing soocd obsessions becoming true. It is someone’s worst nightmare. People are out here attempting because of it.

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 23w

I’m so tired I just wanna be free

I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression

Pogoshow

Date posted: 23w

Myself

I feel like I’ve lost who I am , even since my depression and ocd started. I don’t even know what I like anymore:(( I doubt everything I think and it’s so draining because I just want to feel like my old self again😭 I feel like I have no motivation to get better which is bothering me so much because I want too but something is holding me back from doing what I need to do :/ with all my thoughts and doubts , I feel like I can’t trust myself . I don’t know if I’m the only one that feels this much pain

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