- Date posted
- 1y ago
Has anyone else isolated themselves
And if so what does that look like to you. I think i may have and I can't figure out if I have or not.
And if so what does that look like to you. I think i may have and I can't figure out if I have or not.
I certainly have but I'm trying very hard to break out of that. Isolating for me is not taking anyone up on offers to spend time together, not seeing my family, not engaging with coworkers. But isolating for me is also hiding from myself and the things I enjoy. For example I have stopped my hobbies and anything else that I like. All of this is due to my irrational ocd fears. Essentially I have no time for anyone BUT my OCD. I'm trying very hard to turn that around
I hope you do break that cycle, you got this.
With my rocd, I find myself refusing to do certain hobbies because I’m afraid I’ll lose control and start having horrible thoughts.
I've had experiences like that.
Yes. It made me worse. When I was 10 my family moved from the town where its busy and my friends are all around, to the country side with one neighbour and fields surrounding us. I used to go out to the local park every day but that instantly changed. I have a little brother and he'd kick and scream to go see his friends to the point where my mum would cry. Due to my moral scrupolosity, I didn't want my mum to cry and kept my mouth shut regarding my needs. I started playing video games and shut myself away in my room because that's all I felt I could do to be sane. My school attendance dropped to about 60-70%. My anxiety went up. I became withdrawn and people told me I never smiled. I was outgoing before, shy but outgoing. Mental health issues kept coming in including audible hallucinations with ocd. I struggled to sleep for years with the berating demands of my very vocal ocd. I ended up sleeping at school when I could. I went from a straight A student to getting Ds and Fs. I didn't do homework because I was so tired all the time and saw detention as a chance to rest. I then began to drink energy drinks to keep me awake during the day and became dependent or addicted. That did not help with anxiety at alllll. To shorten the story, I isolated myself for almost 10 years like this. It took a full family mental breakdown for this to change. Plus, getting my driving licence and a car helped a lot because of no local transport 😅 My habits and diet were awful. I love my parents but I had a huge go at them 2 years ago about how they completely neglected my needs as a teenager. I called them every name under the sun and said the worst stuff possible. I meant everything apart from one comment which I took back. Couldn't speak prolifor days because I don't think I've ever screamed that much in my entire life. So yes, I isolated and it felt like I was being a martyr for my OCDs values and gave up an important part of my life for nothing.
Dang man sorry that I made you have bring that up
@spaceo I'm good now dw. 🤣
@spaceo Sharing this stuff helps others. Shared stories form other users helper me get better. I hope this helped you
Wow! Speechless! Which as you know is a miracle for me. 😉. I am truly sorry you had to go through it all. I am also truly happy that you have moved on and are strong enough to share that and help other people. Big hug.
@NODA It was what it was. We put parents on a pedestal naturally when we are younger but as we grow up we slowly figure out they're just winging it like everyone else. It's disappointing and funny at the same time 🤣
Speak for days *
im not diagnosed, but these past two days have been terrible. i constantly have this underlying feeling that i might do something that i think is gross and i feel like i can’t do anything on my own because otherwise i might do something wrong. like i feel like i constantly have to be in front of people so that i can make sure of my every action. this is so exhausting and I’m so confused. and like i keep getting terrible images and stuff replaying in my head. i also try to recall what happened but i feel like i have false event too. i used to have religious ocd and that eventually stopped completely, but now it feels like all my work getting over that was pointless. also like i feel like i might have contamination ocd but not the typical germ type. I just get terrible images and I can’t remember if those images are true or not even though they’re impossible and i feel terrible. I don’t know if i could ever get over this because even the thought of it is terrible.
I'm reaching out in hopes of finding others who might relate to my experiences or offer insights. I'm dealing with a complex interplay of OCD, depression, and existential anxiety, and I'm struggling to make sense of it all. Here's what I'm experiencing: I have OCD with various manifestations, along with episodes of depression. I find myself in a cyclical pattern where, after a few weeks, I start to remind myself about my depressive tendencies. This reminder seems to trigger a cycle that actually makes me feel more depressed or at least more aware of depressive symptoms. When this happens, I often experience feelings of nihilism and existential dread. I try to think about my family - my two young boys and my wife - to find motivation or a sense of purpose, but this strategy often backfires, making me feel even more anxious and depressed. I constantly check my feelings, wondering if they're depressive or anxious. At the same time, I fear that my feelings of anxiety and panic might spiral out of control. I think about my emotions and thoughts on a meta-level, which means I'm not just experiencing feelings, but I'm also constantly analyzing the fact that I'm experiencing them. There's an existential component to my struggles, a fear of depression and anxiety itself, and a sense that this might be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps most frustratingly, I often have feelings, thoughts, or sensory experiences that I can't explain or put into words. I feel like I've never heard of these before, which leaves me feeling deeply misunderstood. Does anyone else experience something similar? How do you cope with this complex web of symptoms and experiences? I'm particularly interested in hearing from those who've found ways to break the cycle of meta-cognition and self-fulfilling anxiety. Any insights, shared experiences, or strategies would be deeply appreciated. Thank you for your time and understanding.
I have constantly been feeling like if I hit one arm, I have to hit the other and if I set something down and it just didn’t look right or feel right I had to do it again or I had to move it to a different spot in my room I’ve had never been a clean freak, which is mainly what I get told is OCD And I don’t know if I should even have this app. I don’t know if I actually have it. I’m constantly worried that I did something in my past that harmed others and that’s why people don’t like me or I’m constantly worried People are constantly watching me and I don’t know if that’s OCD or if I have it so please tell me I will delete this app and never think of it again if I don’t I just really wanna know
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