Do you guys have the feeling that you are desensitized? I'm afraid of losing my values and acting like my thoughts. I still know what's right and wrong, but I'm no longer shocked or anxious about some things I see (like bad news or cases where there are a lot of differing opinions)...
It’s pretty much impossible to avoid being desensitised when your brain is playing these things on loop constantly, but when you are able to finally take a step back and have some respite I guarantee you, you’ll start to see things clearly again. I’ve experienced coming out of severe OCD episodes and basically realising I was staring at a tiny square on a wall and convincing myself it was the whole picture. It’s just part of OCD and you are not your thoughts. I think OCD attempts to convince us that if we try hard enough to reach every corner of our brain that we could understand or know exactly what’s going on in our mind but that’s so unrealistic, and trying to shrink ourselves into the box of what we can quantify also helps deceive us into thinking we’re at risk of losing control or losing our ability to think properly if all of our cognition and awareness isn’t present at this immediate moment. I have sort of started rambling soz, but to summarise, that’s a common experience with OCD and I have also felt exactly like you have described and then realised from the outside how much of a self-constructed threat that fear really was. Just worry about taking care of yourself and goin easy on yourself and not giving into compulsions and you’ll start gaining more and more clarity. Hopes this helps, wish u all the best
Your text really helped me a lot. You are very kind to take the time to write it. I deal with compulsions: I think a lot, I'm scared of groinal responses, I search on the internet... I can't control myself about it. My anxiety decreases, but in the next day it increases exponentially 😢
@Lizzie Scheav Yeah it’s really hard not to keep looking for answers, but unfortunately as long as you look for certainty you will keep needing more proof because OCD just wants more. That next day increase is super typical after seeking reassurance. I will say, I have had (still have 🥲) several themes, and they were all pretty debilitating but I have never experienced pure shame, self-disgust and guilt like I did when I first started experiencing groinals. At first it was just in response to sexually intrusive thoughts, but then literally just started happening every time I experienced any sort of anxiety spike. I just want to let you know you’re not alone, and it does go away when you’re not on panic mode and your brain isn’t immediately scanning every environment for things that could trigger you and then hyper-fixating on them to try and solve it or avoid it. U got this!!!
@Lost- Omg, I can relate to that!!! What destroys me the most is the groinal responses. I feel gr when my anxiety increase. I even have experienced this when I heard drips lol. Another thing that hurts me are dreams. Dreams ruin my day and week. They are usually the ones that make me enter into crisis. I am getting better. I'm saving money to go to a specialist, because where I live there aren't many therapists specialized in OCD 🥹
same :( ur not alone … feels like im accepting im bisexual not straight
I'm so sorry! I also go through hocd, but my main theme is pocd... This has been so hard
it’s common to humans to feel desensitized. bodies and minds have plenty of tools to respond to what happens to us and dissociating of sensations and emotions is a primary response — and when there’s been a distressing event happening constantly, it’s quite common to experience it. you’re overwhelmed.
Yes, I think it's a form of body defense. I was very anxious about bad news. Now I'm neutral
yeah like a numb feeling it sucks
I hate it so much
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
Input please. Whenever I have a thought or come across something like news about pedophilia or other awful things, I feel like I try to make it okay in my head. Like I am trying to explain it away, excuse it. And when I look at that from a more compassionate lens, I think maybe I am just trying to process something bad. Maybe I am trying to make something horrific feel a little less horrifying so I can keep existing in a world where it happens. Because the truth is, whenever I hear about something terrible, it does not just go away. I do not have that ability to shove it aside and move on. I have to live with it. I carry it. I live my life alongside these awful things that exist. But then, when I look at it through a different lens, it gets darker. Maybe I am not trying to process something bad. Maybe I am actually trying to justify it. Maybe I am trying to convince myself it is not that bad… because deep down I agree with the people who do it. Or maybe I am afraid that if it were not so stigmatized, I would somehow be okay with it. And that thought worries me. I know that why someone holds moral values is not as important as the fact that they do. I know that what matters is your actions and your commitment to being a good person. It still scares me. I keep asking myself: am I trying to justify something awful just so I can mentally survive it, or am I trying to justify something awful because some part of me agrees with it?
Is anyone else sort of desensitized by their intrusive thoughts? I still get slight discomfort, and I don't like them, but I think I've been becoming numb to them in a way? It might just be a mental drain. I've been having an anxiety spike due to them for a month now.
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