- Date posted
- 1y
this sucks
i hate ocd i hate the control it has i hate the inability to distinguish real from fake i hate the immense guilt i hate it feeling like a horrible person
i hate ocd i hate the control it has i hate the inability to distinguish real from fake i hate the immense guilt i hate it feeling like a horrible person
I get it
It’s nothing short of hell
Sounds like you are letting your ocd win. Remember, it can NEVER make you do anything you don't want to do. You do compulsions because you want to. Ocd might whisper in your ear and and highly suggest you do them but in the end it can't make you do anything. It's impossible. Ocd has NO control.
People don’t understand this. They say to “trust your gut” and “you know what you feel” but you can’t and you don’t. You truly don’t have a gut or intuition. You don’t know what’s real feelings and what’s fake. You don’t know what thoughts are real and what are fake. And I think that’s the hardest part. Ocd convinces you that you are the worst version of yourself. It’s a 24/7 internal bully that you can’t turn off.
Maybe death is the cure I have white hair at 17 because of this disorder I’ve reached my limit with life and want to end it for good
I have all kinds of thoughts that aren’t me it feels like someone is talking to me telling me evil things about people or to do evil things 😞😞😞😞 I can’t do this anymore
I hate the way ocd has completely messed up my brain, I struggle to tell the difference between an intrusive though and a regular one, I have really bad issues with morality and I feel as if my brain can no longer tell what is and isn't right and I can't tell if I'm over reacting about situations and I end up feeling stuck in a loop of wondering if I'm a bad person and trying to look at a situation rationally and not knowing if that's even possible with the state of my mind, I feel like none of my thoughts are actually mine. I hate it and I wish I could feel in control of my thoughts even for just a day, just to know what it's like. I've had ocd symptoms since I was about 9-10 so i feel like I've never really know a life without it. I just wish I could live out my teenage years like anyone else my age. I can hardly engage with my hobbies and passions and I don't know what to do about it. I can't go to therapy or get medication because I'm not even diagnosed, I just feel trapped. I'm only a teenager, like I said, I don't want to live my entire life like this.
I've had a horrific subtype that has been affecting my day to day life. I think it's snuck in due to good things occurring in my life. If I can't forgive myself for my past, why should others? I'm happy knowing I'm not alone with these thoughts, but knowing it was OCD all along and I could have suffered so much less if I was diagnosed as a child... Decades worth of compulsive checking, thinking I'm worse than a monster... I just want to breathe normally again. I feel guilt with each breath. It's too much.
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