- Date posted
- 1y ago
this sucks
i hate ocd i hate the control it has i hate the inability to distinguish real from fake i hate the immense guilt i hate it feeling like a horrible person
i hate ocd i hate the control it has i hate the inability to distinguish real from fake i hate the immense guilt i hate it feeling like a horrible person
I get it
It’s nothing short of hell
Sounds like you are letting your ocd win. Remember, it can NEVER make you do anything you don't want to do. You do compulsions because you want to. Ocd might whisper in your ear and and highly suggest you do them but in the end it can't make you do anything. It's impossible. Ocd has NO control.
People don’t understand this. They say to “trust your gut” and “you know what you feel” but you can’t and you don’t. You truly don’t have a gut or intuition. You don’t know what’s real feelings and what’s fake. You don’t know what thoughts are real and what are fake. And I think that’s the hardest part. Ocd convinces you that you are the worst version of yourself. It’s a 24/7 internal bully that you can’t turn off.
Maybe death is the cure I have white hair at 17 because of this disorder I’ve reached my limit with life and want to end it for good
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
i’m so scared im going to lose control and end up locked up or something. this is so exhausting!! i worry that what i have isn’t OCD and that im genuinely insane and im gonna end up in big trouble or that the urges i have are going to actually happen. i dont want to think these things ! i feel like a horrible human being!!
I’m currently struggling with guilt from checking OCD. By this I mean, I feel guilty and shameful by my OCD checking because I feel as that was immoral and wrong and I really don’t know what to do. How can I fight this?
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