Please help me… i get the most horrible sad feelings around my little girl… and my suicidal ocd goes crazy when im alone with her… I can’t do this… i can’t keep having horrible thoughts/feelings/urges especially suicidal ocd around my little girl!
Take a deep breath ur thoughts dont define u and tell urself its not bcs u think abt something that it will happen keep staying with littlw girl but talk gently with urself yes u have horrible thought but ur not a horrible person ur thought dont define who u are or what will happen keep going i am sorry ur going through so much pain i hope u will feel better ❤️
@Anonymas But why do my suicidal ocd goes crazy around my little girl? 😭
@Kygozilox Bcs she is important to u and thats what ocd does it attacks whats important especially when u give him the power to do it
@Kygozilox https://youtu.be/qhKmY1IeFf8?si=lp-DmPl8A8diNnSe U should watch this little video
Sorry to hear you're struggling. Intrusive thoughts are difficult enough when you're alone, and I can imagine that having them while you're with your child is very distressing. Intrusive thoughts are fueled by our resistance to them. That's why the only thoughts that tend to stick around are ones that are distressing. The sad feelings you're experiencing (which you mentioned in your other post), are probably just your response to these thoughts in the presence of your child. Your brain is sending signals to your body that it is in danger, even though it isn't, which can cause all sorts of complicated emotions, especially when you're around loved ones. In reality, these thoughts you are experiencing are just thoughts. They can't hurt you, they can't make you do anything, and they don't mean anything about you. Thoughts don't predict the future and they aren't proof of any particular desires. The ultimate goal is not to remove these thoughts, but to change your relationship to them. Think of them like suggestions from the subconscious regions of the brain, not as facts. Instead of getting worked up over thoughts or images of suicide, respond with, "that isn't useful to me right now, but thank you for the suggestion." You can also respond with something like: "Yes that might be so (as in, yes maybe I want to kill myself), and it might not be." I know it sounds terrifying to even consider agreeing with these thoughts, but you might be surprised just how much weight they shed when you respond in this way, rather than "GO AWAY!" As a parent, maybe it would be helpful to imagine these thoughts as a distraught child trying to get your attention, crying about something that they're worried about, like a monster under their bed. Rather than ignore the child, or get angry that they are upset, you can say, "I hear you, I see that you're upset, and that's okay." You can have that same relationship with your thought. In addition to this, be conscious of how you're breathing. Try to make your out-breaths longer (at least twice as long) as your in-breaths. This will help sooth your nervous system. That, in conjunction with your soften approach to these thoughts, should be extremely helpful over time. It takes practice.
@djflorio Thank you.. im just so devastated.. why do my suicidal ocd always flare up when im alone with my girl? 😭
@Kygozilox - Because you care so much about her. Think of your body and mind like a ship with someone standing in the crow's nest, whose job is to look out for danger and alert the rest of the crew. When you're with your daughter, the person in that crow's nest is on super high alert, because you don't want anything to happen to her. Because of this, any possible sign of danger, no matter how remote or tiny it is, will trigger the alarm bells. This is nothing more than your body's alarm system being easily triggered because you care so much. Let the guy in the crow's nest know he's doing an amazing job, and let him take a break :)
@djflorio Just can’t take feeling so sad and with suicidal ocd around the thing i should be most happy around
@Kygozilox - I understand, it must be difficult. I think that maybe you're getting too caught up in the "should," here. Since you feel like you SHOULD be happy around her, it creates all sorts of emotions like shame and sadness when you feel anything less than amazing. Try to give yourself the permission to not feel great when you're around her. Again, most of this just has to do with resistance. I'm not saying you should wallow in misery, but when you feel sad, anxious, shameful, or anything while you're around her, just be aware of it. You don't have to push it away, you don't have to attach a story to it in order to figure out what it means. Just notice how the emotions feel in your body. Use it as an exercise and a learning opportunity. Work on naming the emotions. When you feel sad, just think, "I am aware of sadness," etc. They key with all of this is not to judge the emotions or the thoughts that come from them. When you judge them, that's when you get stories like, "I shouldn't be feeling this way," or "I'm always going to feel like this around my daughter." Hope some of this is helpful. If you have the means to do so, finding an OCD specialist who does ERP training would be very beneficial for you, I think.
I tend to use response messages . The one I’ve noticed that works the most for me is ,”I, not ocd,control my behavior”. You’re not going to do something you don’t want to do. Don’t let ocd trick you into thinking so.
@Aec93 But why do i feel suicidal around my little girl? 😭
@Kygozilox It’s most likely because she’s the most valuable thing in your life and ocd tends to latch onto the things we care most about. Don’t let the ice win. Instead create positive memories with your lil daughter. I have a little girl also and unfortunately my ocd latches onto her and I fight it everyday because I know I would never want to hurt my baby
I'm so scared right now, I don't think my intrusive thoughts are intrusive anymore. I feel completely numb and disconnected from everything and everyone. I feel like I'm insane. I don't feel reassured by anything which makes me think I want the thoughts. for example I have harm ocd thoughts about my daughter and always have since she was born, she is now 9. I've suffered terribly with mental health since she was born. and an intrusive thought I have just had is "if I killed her i wouldn't be anxious anymore" can thoughts become this distressing? this can't be normal, please someone help.
I have severe OCD and I experience all different types of intrusive thoughts and compulsions I fucking hate it! But one thing I struggle with the most is POCD! It makes me violently sick and disturbed but I know it’s not me and I know it’s not true but then why do I feel so disgusting? I have two children, one 5 and the other is 1, I don’t want to change my daughters nappys I don’t want to get her dressed (of course I do because I don’t have a choice) but it triggers me so bad and gets me in a state, I don’t know how to get over this I’ve had this certain thought for over six weeks and I can’t do it anymore, I’m so distressed they deserve better, why can’t I just be a normal person, I’ve actually thought about giving them up over these thoughts it’s breaking me and it’s breaking my heart, I actually can’t try beat this anymore.
I’m a mom of a 6 month old and my OCD has gotten so bad that my brain constantly convinces me that I’m doing something bad to her or feeling a gross way about her to the point where I don’t even want to be near her. This is breaking my heart because I love my daughter so much and had such a strong bond with her and this is killing me and making me sad/feel disgusting at the same time.
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