2 and a half hour shower and I'm not clean.

That will work temporarily but you're still avoiding the root cause. You're brain will know you are distracting yourself to avoid germs. You can use music but make sure to use it as something you enjoy instead of as a tool to avoid or OCD will grow stronger.

Tell yourself " maybe or maybe not there's no way to know" when you have a contamination thought pop up. React without judgement or emotions when confronting these thoughts. OCD can't survive without certainty which you can't actually provide. So living with uncertainty is the end goal. I wish there was a simpler way but ERP therapy definitely takes a mindset shift and courage. I started with the easiest obsessions first to build confidence. Then I tackled the hardest fears last.

Use that script I gave you but I forgot to add that after you say " maybe or maybe not" you should go on to whatever you were doing before the OCD thought arose. Using mindfulness to stay present is important because if you stay focused on your thoughts it's very difficult to resist compulsions. My brain understood I was going back to my tasks because it's what I wanted to do and not because it was a distraction to avoid OCD.

I'm in the middle of getting appointments with drs to try and figure out options since therapy is expensive where I am and can't afford it . I have had one dr appointment so far with another coming up this weekend

@justinisscared It's easier with a therapist but after they teach you some strategies it's basically up to you. So give it 3-4 sessions to learn how to do ERP and if you can't afford any more then come here for advice or try other support systems.

@justinisscared Can you share what you're afraid of? You don't need to be too specific. I'll help you with a script. Are you afraid of hurting others or yourself from contamination? I ask this so you can figure out your root fear. That's what you need to address.

Mine is from fear of hurting others, especially my loved ones, can you help share some tips pls. Struggling everday to a point my hand skin is flaking and in pain.

@Kpika First try to build a mindset that OCD isn't helping you keep anyone safe, which it's actually not. You're reacting to the thoughts because the outcome is scary but you must realize they are just fabricated thoughts by OCD. Thoughts are just thoughts I constantly remind myself. I don't use this as reassurance though. It becomes difficult to perform ERP if we believe OCD is actually helpful instead of a life destroying disorder. Where contamination is concerned I limited myself to what normal people would do and only reacted to a supposed contamination if I could actually see it. For example, I wash my hands only once after using the restroom as this is a normal practice. I don't wash my hands again unless I touch something potentially dangerous I can actually see such as raw meat or blood. While you get those thoughts that pop up want to wash you refrain as long as possible using the script " I may contaminate someone but there's no way to know". The end goal is tolerate the uncertainty that it's possible to contaminate someone however unlikely. You could wash your hands a million times but can you actually guarantee that your hands are clean? Once I started reminding myself germs are everywhere and being okay with uncertainty then anxiety eventually fades away.

@StoicGuy Thank you for the advice, i never thought from this point of view. I didnt realise i was seeking 'certainty' so much with my rituals which is never achievable. I guess im just so scared/afraid of uncertainty. I learned something new from you, thank you!❤