- Date posted
- 44w ago
Suicidal thoughts
I want to end It all, I feel so alone in my head, like no one understands at all.I just want to end itβ¦
I want to end It all, I feel so alone in my head, like no one understands at all.I just want to end itβ¦
I know how it feels,it can get better.2 months ago i tried to take my life,i still struggle but things have got easier.stay strong
I know how you feel. You are not alone
You are strong β¦.. πͺ you are a fighter and this too will pass β¦ if you want to talk to me feel free to write.i too share your thoughts and feelings from time to time but we are here for a reason we have a purpose
Big hugs. Donβt do this. Sometimes all you need to do is just endure through these tough places. In time, you will get to the other side. I hear you about how hard OCD is. It is the second worst mental disorder. Itβs horrible. I have no words for it. I hear your pain. Hang in there, friend. Sending love and hugs your way ππππ
So I and my mom got into this big fight yesterday and I said some things I didn't mean to say to her and she said some things and I know what I said was bad but what she said cut deep in me because Even though what I said to her wasn't good her words hurt because going through wat om going through rn is honestly the worst thing a human can go through my worries and fears now all of a sudden now become feeling of Suicide and self-harm and honestly she's right because at this point I'm at a dead end and there's no going back I didn't tell her what was actually going on with me because I know she will never look at me the same and growing up with parents that are Gen x back in the day mental illness is a fucking joke to them apparently and is not taken seriously not all of them are like this but I know a few now I've been thinking about offing myself I don't think I'm gonna make it I'm really struggling.
I hate sitting in my room with only me and my thoughts. I have lost my faith in the lord and canβt seem to get on with my life. Iβm so stuck on everything and canβt seem to get better. I keep self harming and get to the point to where I see the second layer of my skin. It gets worse and worse each time I have suicidal thoughts. One of these days itβll get so bad that well you can probably guess what I may do. I have been abused physically mentally and sexually in my past and it haunts me every single day of my life. Any time I try to talk to someone about my mental health they tell me Iβm a waste of their time or that I need to talk to someone other than them. But all that does is make me keep it all bottled up and I canβt take it anymore. They say mental abuse is worse than physical and I can see why they say that. I just want a normal life so I donβt have to be depressed 24/7. It ruins my social life and it makes me loose my friends and family because of how distant I am. I just need help and please give me advice. Also sorry Iβm not very good at explaining things.
I can't stop thinking about ending my life. I feel like I'm not even living, I'm just surviving. Everyone is capable of being a person and functioning and I'm just stuck here avoiding everything. My psychiatrist said my ocd is severe and it will all take time and I'll start erp and I'm already on medication but I just feel so depressed and like I won't be able to handle erp and it's already too late for me. I feel inhuman, it's debilitating. My major theme is just fear or contamination, I can't even make myself a meal I can't touch anything in the kitchen. I get stuck in the shower for 2 hours and when I don't shower because I'm depressed I feel like a walking germ. My hands are a mess, my school work is shit, I avoid and avoid and I'm just so tired of "living" like this. My psychiatrist said they don't have any therapists available right now like.... excuse me? What do you mean u don't have any π I honestly don't even know why I'm typing this becuase nothing helps, nothing ever will. I'm so deep into this I can't get out, my room looks like shit, I can't live in this body anymore, I really can't. I let everyone down, I am and will be such a dissapointment. I don't have any dreams or goals or passions I just wasn't made to be here. I don't know how or who to ask for help like there's nothing anyone can do, I'm already on meds. I can't keep being like this, seeing everyone judge me for acting insane.
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