- Username
- menenia❣️
- Date posted
- 27w ago
Acceptance
Hi! Does anyone else find it hard to accept that you have ocd? I think it’s the most difficult part.
Hi! Does anyone else find it hard to accept that you have ocd? I think it’s the most difficult part.
I honestly still think I’m just “on the ocd” spectrum and not really ocd because so many people have it worse. I’d like to learn coping mechanisms and how to stop feeling like I’m in a fight with my brain all the time, which is how I justified coming here to myself.
@Leth Thanks for sharing. It helps a lot.
@menenia❣️ Absolutely. Sending you love.
I also think it’s a wide spectrum and that it’s important to keep that in mind. I’ve had a hard time accepting it bc I thought it meant I must be destined to go down an extreme path, but I see now that it’s just accepting the forms I have in order to let them go and get to where I want to be. Good luck!
@ECM17 Thanks!
My whole life I’ve found reasons to not like myself. Whether I thought I was weird or ugly or overweight. Because of this, I’ve always sought the acceptance of others which sometimes made me do things, that looking back, wasn't who I really wanted to be (drinking, being intimate with someone, saying I like things that I don't, not standing up for myself, etc.). OCD hasn’t made liking myself any easier. The awful thoughts and false memories have made me dislike myself more because they’ve made me feel like a disgusting monster. They’ve made me feel like I don’t even know who I am, which is extra scary because even without OCD, I’ve struggled with that as mentioned above. OCD has tried filling in the gaps and has preyed upon my insecurities and it's terrifying. Now that I’m taking the steps to learn to love myself, OCD is gripping on even harder. It tells me I don’t deserve love because maybe my false memories are true or I don’t deserve love because of the horrible thoughts I have. It's really hard honestly, but I know I need to keep trying. I also wonder had I loved myself before, would I have even had an OCD problem? Because maybe if I loved myself and knew what a good person I was, the thoughts would have never gripped on? I don't know. Be kind to yourselves. It certainly is a journey.
Hey! I read that in order to better manage my OCD and be less worried all the time, I have to be okay with uncertainty. For me, it's coming to term with the fact that I might be attracted to a man someday (I'm a lesbian) even though the thought feels terrifying. I don't have anything against men or against bisexual people obviously it's just not who I am and I'm so so afraid of losing my identity. Anyone got tips on how to be okay with accepting that you can't be 100% sure your worst fear won't turn out to be true?
This theme always feels like I am in denial and that I am somehow using OCD as an excuse. Especially, when I get intrusive thoughts and I don't feel any anxiety.
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