- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi everyone! Thank you all soooooooo much for your support. I wish there was a way I could demonstrate just how much you all mean to me. I really like the sound of partial inpatient, it just seems less intimidating. My psychiatrist wants me admitted to a sub-acute mental health unit here in Byron Bay, otherwise she wants me to fly to Melbourne to stay in a specialist OCD clinic. I’m so scared to tell her what I’ve been doing because it sounds crazy. It’s humiliating. I think I will write everything down too :) that’s such a good idea, thank you guys!
- Date posted
- 6y
There’s no shame in getting the help you need! I know that it can be embarrassing at times but know your OCD is not your fault and you don’t need to feel bad for it. As for your psychiatrist, she’s a mental health professional and she’s not going to judge you for your OCD, or think you’re crazy, I’m sure she understands! Hang in there and good luck! Keep us updated :)
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so very much ghostly! You’re truly wonderful. I’ll let you all know what happens tomorrow! d a i s y
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m so sorry to hear that - it sounds terrible - if you’re finding it hard to voice how bad it’s gotten, how about screen shorting this, or writing down how bad it is and showing it to your psychiatrist? If you find it easier - that way your position is clear and they are more likely to be able to help you :). Wish you all the best :)
- Date posted
- 6y
I agree with the above, you were able to let us know so just write it out for your psychiatrist.
- Date posted
- 6y
I hope only the best for you!
- Date posted
- 6y
Bless you. You really need a break. You are always so helpful for others you deserve support too. I agree show them your message. Wish you the best for your appointment.
- Date posted
- 6y
I agree with @Ellz, you’re always so helpful and you deserve the best. Good luck at your appointment tomorrow, just show them what you wrote on here and they’ll understand, that way it’s easier for you to tell them how you feel
- Date posted
- 6y
I think its time to consider inpatient treatment. One day you will be able to manage at home, but right now it sounds like you need to be in a safe space where you can learn to improve ❤️ don’t lose hope, recovery is in all of us
- Date posted
- 6y
Does Australia offer partial hospitalization programs (where you go home at night but go to the hospital for therapy groups all day)? I did this for 2 weeks a few months ago and it was helpful and to me a slightly easier alternative to inpatient. Right not I think you need to open up to your psychiatrist and tell them exactly what you told us. If you can, you need to give your parents the liquid nitrogen and acids you are using because they are too much for you to healthfully use right now. You may also need to have a discussion with your parents about turning off the water at a certain point, maybe no more than 15 minutes. You also must eat. I know how hard this is because before I went to my partial program I had been awake for 48 hours and barely eaten a snack. I would ask you psychiatrist if you can take your crisis medications or if he can prescribe anything else to bring down your anxiety level.
- Date posted
- 6y
Although many people are scared of inpatient, it is not going to be as bad as you think. You will likely have a private room and probably will only allowed to wear certain clothing from home. You will probably be expected to go to groups in a common area during the daytime and have individual meetings with psychiatrists and therapists.
- Date posted
- 6y
Honestly, if there is a time in your life to get your OCD under control it is now. It’s better to go now and not have your career disturbed once you are more established. You can say you’ve decided to travel for a month or something similar and don’t have to tell them you are getting medical treatment. Due to your age, they will probably be very forgiving. I don’t want to make assumptions, but unless this is your dream job, please don’t compromise your health for it.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much Ben! I hold you all so close to my heart. I don’t know what I’d do without you guys. Thinking of you always, d a i s y
- Date posted
- 6y
Write everything down before your psych appointment, like a script almost
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m sorry you’re going through all of this. Like the others, I would advise you write down everything that you’re dealing with, and how bad it had gotten, before you meet with your psychiatrist. That way you have a clear idea of what you want to say. Try to be as honest with them as possible. I know I try to play things down because I don’t like being vulnerable and I don’t want to feel like I’m being overdramatic. Try not to do this.
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi everyone! So I haven’t met with my psychiatrist yet, I’m seeing her in a couple of hours. I know she’s going to suggest inpatient, but I just left high school and got a new job and I don’t want my employers to think I’m unreliable. I don’t know what to do! Can you do inpatient but still be allowed to go to work? I know this sounds bonkers but if my OCD takes my job away from me too I don’t know what I’ll have left. Hope you’re all wonderful. d a i s y
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m honestly thinking the same thing. I’ll see what my psychiatrist thinks. Surely they can’t dismiss me on the grounds of requiring hospital admission. Thank you so much, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you. d a i s y
- Date posted
- 6y
You know that I’m always here for you and I’m keeping you in my thoughts! I know how strong you are and I’m looking forward to hearing about your recovery! :)
- Date posted
- 6y
I told my psychiatrist I was too scared to go to hospital right now so admission is the 15th of October if I’ve made no improvement, or earlier if I decline. Thanks for being here for me! d a i s y
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
i’ve just been feeling so off lately. i’m okay right now, but a couple hours ago i was in this mood where i felt anxiety creeping up. like i will feel like there’s danger when there isn’t. i just get this really uncomfortable feeling that something feels wrong even when it isn’t. and i’ve been feeling derealization/depersonalization. just really disconnected from myself and the world. i’ve also been unmotivated to where there are times when the thought of doing things upsets me. and i’ve been having existential thoughts that do not mesh well with harm ocd. i get the thought “if people aren’t real then it’s okay to hurt them”. it sucks because there are times where i just don’t even care to ruminate and find reassurance that that’s not the case. furthermore, i’ve just been really aware of my existence. i will get moments where i’m so aware of my existence and it freaks me out. like the fact that i’m a living human being is crazy to me. then there are times when i’m not even anxious about anything which then has me questioning and ruminating on that because i ALWAYS have something i’m worrying about. i’ve also been feeling really nostalgic and bittersweet of the good memories from the past. i keep thinking about good times i’ve had and really wishing i could relive it. for example, last summer was a pretty good summer even with my ocd. and i just wish i could relive some of those moments, but i obviously can’t. and it’s been upsetting me because this month has been shitty with my anxiety. as for an update with my room change to those of you curious, i still have anxiety over it and my mom is taking it as me being ungrateful with what i have when it’s my ocd making a huge deal of it. that upsets me especially since i’ve told her what’s been going on and she was really understanding of it. anyways, life has just been a bit much and i’ve been dealing with more to my anxiety that i don’t appreciate. while worrying about constantly throwing up with my contamination ocd is incredibly exhausting, it’s so normal to me that i’m used to it. but when my harm ocd kicks in along with other themes that aren’t usually common for me, i freak out and feel like i’m going insane. i genuinely wonder how people have dealt with taboo topics of ocd without treatment for years on end. i’ve had harm intrusive thoughts since i was little, but it didn’t get to any extreme until 2023. i feel like i’m drowning in it when it decides to hit me and the thought of having to deal with it for the rest of my life?? i’m scared something in me will flip and i’ll become what my thoughts are telling me i am. i apologize for the mixed thoughts that are all over the place but i feel safe posting on here about it and want to hear how y’all are doing
- Date posted
- 14w
I know I keep talking about this and I swear I’m not trying to be annoying but over the weekend I had gotten some new Clorox wipes because I was running low on some at home. I noticed when I came home I still had 2 half full containers left. When I got home everything was fine until I accidentally knocked my setting spray off my bathroom counter. Now mind you I had 2 warts on my foot about 4 months ago and my ocd makes it worse by making me believe the virus is still on the floor. Immediately when it dropped, I cleaned it with a Clorox wipe. This is where it went down hill and my brain started to spiral. After disinfecting my setting spray, I started second guessing if the Clorox I used on it was from the same container I used for the shower floor. I usually wear gloves before getting a Clorox wipe and sometimes I don’t. I was trying to do “ERP” and instead of washing my hands 3x… I just washed it for about 5 seconds . I then put my lipliner and gloss on and now I feel like I contaminated my lipliner. I threw my lipliner in my makeup bag and my makeup bag has a blush brush , hilighter brush and some other makeup stuff. I just wanna throw that whole bag out now. It’s exhausting and this might seem dramatic but I couldn’t get out of bed because all I could think about was everything being contaminated in my bathroom. I leave for Florida in 3 days and I’m freaking out because everything isn’t going how I want it to. I’m just exhausted. I just bought some new Clorox wipes from Kroger and one of the Clorox dropped on the floor and now I think that’s contaminated and now I’m confused which one fell on the floor and which one didn’t. They were next to eachother and I forgot that fast. 😞☹️ Before going to Kroger I felt like god was talking to me or my intuition and telling me don’t get another one. So now my minds making me feel like it dropped on the floor on purpose. Idk know if it’s god talking to me or my ocd. I was sleeping all day because I don’t wanna get up and go in my bathroom and I don’t even wanna put my makeup on because I don’t wanna take a chance of getting a wart on my face. I never did a deep clean after my wart but I have used so much Clorox in the bathroom to just to dinsifect. I’m still nervous to even do a deep clean because I feel like I’m going to pick up the virus or bacteria. Also if there’s any Christian’s reading this I would appreciate just a prayer bc I’m tired and exhausted which I know seems funny from being in my bed all day. But mentally I’m exhausted. I don’t even wanna go to Florida anymore. I know the only way to get a wart is to get it from skin to skin contact. Oh! I almost forgot I had a dentist appt today and this girl was shadowing my dentist and she greeted me and shook my hand. It happned so fast. I didn’t go home right away and wash my hands and I’m freaking out about that too. I’m just overwhelmed . 😞 I know this was long and I appreciate you reading.
- Date posted
- 11w
I had a really stressful couple of weeks and it's all hitting me right now. I cannot for the life of me shut off my brain my thoughts for a little and it feels like drowning. It's 1 a.m. here and I'm feeling completely hopeless like this feeling is going to last forever. I'm feeling like I can't use the tools I've been given my my psychologist and my meds feel like they've stopped working. I feel like by the end of the end I'm going to lose my mind. I usually am able to find some silver lining but today has been so bad. Everything triggers me and I have really bad intrusive thoughts about dying and finding some peace but I know that's not what I want. It's just so difficult navigating life when your brain works against you. I'm so tired and defeated and I feel like I have no one to turn to, but even that is some form of reassurance and it makes me spiral that I decide actively against it. I just feel like I'm losing my mind and I'm going "insane" from the distress. All my failed friendships and relationships have come back to haunt me and I feel like I can't get out of the house. All my sort comings are layed out in front of me and I feel like I am the worst person in the world and nothing will fix that. I have some real bad thoughts about my friends and family. And I know alla of this is classic symptoms of OCD but even though I know I can't rationalize and come to peace with them. I'm so envious of people being able to lead a normal life without this burden and in my mind it's just highlights all my shortcomings. I've had moments like this before but the last really nasty one was four years ago when I was yet undiagnosed and I really felt insane back then. I was hoping that when this happened to me again I'd be more capable of handling it but I don't think I am. I'm constantly on a battle against my mind and some times I win and sometimes I lose. I'm sorry for the rant I just feel extremely hopeless right now.
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