To say I am am mentally and physically exhausted would be the biggest understatement of the century. Sorry in advance for the details. I just need a safe and understanding place to vent. I spent over two hours bathing yesterday. I burnt my skin with liquid nitrogen and then rubbed acid into my wounds as a contamination compulsion. I didn’t eat. I ran until I felt like I was going to drop unconscious. This illness is completely consuming me. I feel like I’m doing everything possible to get better and I’m only spiralling more and more out of control. What is the next step from here? I have mentioned before that inpatient is on the cards. It was considered last week but I thought I could manage at home. I have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow and I just don’t know how to communicate just how bad things have gotten. Hope everyone has a wonderful day. You all deserve it. d a i s y

Hi everyone! Thank you all soooooooo much for your support. I wish there was a way I could demonstrate just how much you all mean to me. I really like the sound of partial inpatient, it just seems less intimidating. My psychiatrist wants me admitted to a sub-acute mental health unit here in Byron Bay, otherwise she wants me to fly to Melbourne to stay in a specialist OCD clinic. I’m so scared to tell her what I’ve been doing because it sounds crazy. It’s humiliating. I think I will write everything down too :) that’s such a good idea, thank you guys!

There’s no shame in getting the help you need! I know that it can be embarrassing at times but know your OCD is not your fault and you don’t need to feel bad for it. As for your psychiatrist, she’s a mental health professional and she’s not going to judge you for your OCD, or think you’re crazy, I’m sure she understands! Hang in there and good luck! Keep us updated :)

Thank you so very much ghostly! You’re truly wonderful. I’ll let you all know what happens tomorrow! d a i s y

I’m so sorry to hear that - it sounds terrible - if you’re finding it hard to voice how bad it’s gotten, how about screen shorting this, or writing down how bad it is and showing it to your psychiatrist? If you find it easier - that way your position is clear and they are more likely to be able to help you :). Wish you all the best :)

I agree with the above, you were able to let us know so just write it out for your psychiatrist.

I hope only the best for you!

Bless you. You really need a break. You are always so helpful for others you deserve support too. I agree show them your message. Wish you the best for your appointment.

I agree with @Ellz, you’re always so helpful and you deserve the best. Good luck at your appointment tomorrow, just show them what you wrote on here and they’ll understand, that way it’s easier for you to tell them how you feel

I think its time to consider inpatient treatment. One day you will be able to manage at home, but right now it sounds like you need to be in a safe space where you can learn to improve ❤️ don’t lose hope, recovery is in all of us

Does Australia offer partial hospitalization programs (where you go home at night but go to the hospital for therapy groups all day)? I did this for 2 weeks a few months ago and it was helpful and to me a slightly easier alternative to inpatient. Right not I think you need to open up to your psychiatrist and tell them exactly what you told us. If you can, you need to give your parents the liquid nitrogen and acids you are using because they are too much for you to healthfully use right now. You may also need to have a discussion with your parents about turning off the water at a certain point, maybe no more than 15 minutes. You also must eat. I know how hard this is because before I went to my partial program I had been awake for 48 hours and barely eaten a snack. I would ask you psychiatrist if you can take your crisis medications or if he can prescribe anything else to bring down your anxiety level.

Although many people are scared of inpatient, it is not going to be as bad as you think. You will likely have a private room and probably will only allowed to wear certain clothing from home. You will probably be expected to go to groups in a common area during the daytime and have individual meetings with psychiatrists and therapists.

Honestly, if there is a time in your life to get your OCD under control it is now. It’s better to go now and not have your career disturbed once you are more established. You can say you’ve decided to travel for a month or something similar and don’t have to tell them you are getting medical treatment. Due to your age, they will probably be very forgiving. I don’t want to make assumptions, but unless this is your dream job, please don’t compromise your health for it.

Thank you so much Ben! I hold you all so close to my heart. I don’t know what I’d do without you guys. Thinking of you always, d a i s y

Write everything down before your psych appointment, like a script almost

I’m sorry you’re going through all of this. Like the others, I would advise you write down everything that you’re dealing with, and how bad it had gotten, before you meet with your psychiatrist. That way you have a clear idea of what you want to say. Try to be as honest with them as possible. I know I try to play things down because I don’t like being vulnerable and I don’t want to feel like I’m being overdramatic. Try not to do this.

Hi everyone! So I haven’t met with my psychiatrist yet, I’m seeing her in a couple of hours. I know she’s going to suggest inpatient, but I just left high school and got a new job and I don’t want my employers to think I’m unreliable. I don’t know what to do! Can you do inpatient but still be allowed to go to work? I know this sounds bonkers but if my OCD takes my job away from me too I don’t know what I’ll have left. Hope you’re all wonderful. d a i s y

I’m honestly thinking the same thing. I’ll see what my psychiatrist thinks. Surely they can’t dismiss me on the grounds of requiring hospital admission. Thank you so much, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you. d a i s y

You know that I’m always here for you and I’m keeping you in my thoughts! I know how strong you are and I’m looking forward to hearing about your recovery! :)

I told my psychiatrist I was too scared to go to hospital right now so admission is the 15th of October if I’ve made no improvement, or earlier if I decline. Thanks for being here for me! d a i s y