- Username
- garden
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ahh ok I see. Well thank you! Also, irrelevant, but I went to Canada recently and it was really nice ?
Yes exactly! I just don’t know who I’d be. And I don’t know if I’d take my happiness for granted, in the same way that I did before all this crap started.
I pretty much experience this exactly. Where you know you want to feel better but then have this feeling that you don’t, because you identify with it. I think it’s another way that our ocd latches into wanting to feel certainty and fear of the unknown: at least we know that we have ocd. This is one feeling that I really struggle with in recovery, but I try and remind myself that my ocd does NOT make me feel good. I think thought replacement helps the best: rather than thinking “I don’t want ocd to go away because it makes me feel unique and that scares me” think of it more as being proud that you can use your ocd as an advocate for mental health and helping other people. These are just some ways that make me feel better about the feeling, rather than trying to find out what’s wrong with me for having it. I hope it helps:)
That did help! I would love to advocate for mental health / kill the stigma around keeping it silent in the future once I’m better. And to get better, I’ll have to ditch OCD at some point! I guess it’s just that I don’t even have certainty about whether or not I have OCD so I often feel like I’m faking it for attention or to be unique (even though I’ve told very few people).
Ok thanks, that’s helpful to know! I don’t have veryyyy bad physical symptoms so I don’t think medication would be necessary for me but ERP is definitely important.
From my understanding, a psychiatrist (at least in Canada) mainly just prescribes meds and diagnoses, whereas a therapist is usually there for talk therapy and CBT, but usually can’t prescribe meds.
Very honest of you to say that, Eden. It’s a bit different for me: I just can’t imagine myself not being... well, myself. My therapist makes a differentiation between my OCD and me, but I just don’t know who I am without it! Too many years suffering from it... I wouldn’t know how to live and be another person. I told her, and she says it’s absolutely normal.
I have had some form of anxiety for as far back as I can remember. Some periods of my life, I was able to function normally, but for most of my life, anxiety has been in the forefront. I am not sure who I would be without it, but I am certain I would have made more of my life-better education, better job, more exciting life experiences, etc
(I haven’t yet been diagnosed)
I’ve had the same experience where I questioned whether I even had OCD, until recently when I was diagnosed. If you can, it may give you some peace of mind to have a diagnosis (as it did for me!) because it makes it easier to put the thoughts and habits into perspective. I had one appointment with a psychiatrist and she was able to tell me with certainty that I have OCD, and these people are professionals and see it every day, so they know what they’re talking about! Of course your brain will still try to tell you that it’s not OCD, but I’ve noticed that the further along you are into recovery, the easier it is to recognize the textbook symptoms of OCD. I’ve also had the same feeling when I tell people that I have anxiety and OCD (that I’m looking for attention) but more than anything, if they’re the right people, they will believe you and be there as another support.
Me and my mum have been looking into therapists recently so I can finally get a proper diagnosis because, like you said, I think that’s what I need right now! Dumb question but what’s the difference between a therapist and a psychiatrist? Should I see a therapist in order to get properly diagnosed?
A psychiatrist can prescribe meds, where therapists usually cannot. Some psychiatrists also act as therapists, and others just prescribe the meds and that is it. If you have a psychiatrist who will also help with ERP, you don't really need a therapist imo.
haha some parts of it are beautiful!!
I do really feel like personifying my OCD really helped relieve a lot of the anxiety. That and finding a community of people who are having similar thoughts! Being able to take a step back and name a thought as OCD helped me so much. The anxiety is there as MUCH as it was along with the thoughts but knowing that they’re not MY thoughts helped me with direction on where to go from there. I can now get a thought and tell myself it’s ocd because I know it is even when I’m doubting it. I can say to myself even when I’m doubting the ocd that it’s called the doubting disorder for a reason and feel better. I grew up always feeling ~different~ because of my thoughts but never knew they were ocd related and knowing that felt like putting the last piece of a 600 piece puzzle in its place. It helped me put a name to my problems and be like “wow, that explains sooo much” like honestly a weight has been lifted. For that reason,I know I can get through this gross and horrifying disorder.
I have only recently come to terms with OCD and decided to do something about it. I have found that I no longer have any desire to be around anyone who isn’t part of the OCD community. I don’t want to talk to anyone else. I want only to be around people I can share things with and not face judgment or the “Oh my god, that’s insane” response I know I will get from anyone on the outside. I don’t know if this is just a normal part of early recovery but I really feel like disappearing from the rest of the world and only engaging with this new community I have become part of (albeit against more than 30 years of resistance). Has anyone who is farther along in recovery experiences this and come out of it? Is anyone else also in the early stages and feeling this way? I can’t decide whether or not it’s healthy but I can’t help but think I shouldn’t be isolating from friends and family to spend all of my waking hours focused on this. Maybe it’s just part of the agreement we have with OCD that anything new becomes an obsession… Anyway, I just wanted to share and see if anyone else has experienced this.
So I’ve been getting treatment for about 3 months now and it’s been slowly starting to work I think and days are slowly getting easier. There are still plenty of bad days and days where I just feel completely defeated but I’m gradually learning how to deal with these emotions. Part of me is really relieved and excited as OCD was absolutely awful and the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. It held me back from so many things and I felt so trapped and I never imagined I’d be in so much agonising discomfort everyday. However part of me is also really uneasy as OCD is what I’ve known for so many years and I don’t know life without it. It’s almost unsettling integrating back into the ‘normal’ way of life as part of me doesn’t know where to start and I feel like I lack foundation if that makes sense as I have been unable to do so much for so long. I’m also finishing school soon which makes things even harder as I don’t know what comes next, or who or what I’ll become and do with my life. I guess my question is, is life beyond OCD worth it and is it worth climbing out of this hell hole? I also know that I’ll probably always have OCD and there may always be bad days but it’s just becoming less disabling and time consuming which is so exciting but sort of terrifying at the same time. I also am worried that I’ll live a boring and miserable life because at least dealing with OCD left me with something and made life more interesting, much more painful but It almost became my identity. But I guess there has to be something more beyond this life I’m living. Sorry this is long.
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