- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
This is insane. I literally just developed this theme. Yesterday I took an autism test and the results indicated that i was “mildly autistic” and that sent me SPIRALING. But this idea was actually to intense for my anxiety since i’m also struggling with the theme that I don’t even have OCD, which is so painfully complex because OCD and autism have such strong relations that i don’t know how to make sense of it. And then the topic of nuerodivergence popped into my head which was a whole nother beast on its own. I also suspect I have ADHD/Dyslexia which irrationally unsettles me not knowing. and ugh. so much rumination lmao. Sadly i can’t offer you solace as i’ve been googling my symptoms every hour of everyday for the past 3 days and just *not* coping healthily BUT i can offer you sympathy :)
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much! when I saw that I had a notification, my heart literally jumped out of my chest because I was praying that someone would see this and I was hoping someone could relate. And OMG... I was NOT expecting anyone else to have the same experience as me!!! Omg? But yeah, I know EXACTLY how you feel. It’s not fun. I have a history of severe health anxiety, and I think a lot of it relates to that, because I read something and I’m like, well what if... which I’m sure you can understand. Literally everyone with OCD has the theme of, “well what if it’s not OCD and these obsessions are real”, but that’s just another trope of the condition! And no worries at all, I am just settled by the fact that I’m not alone with this and that I’m not a freak. I don’t know your specific situation, but it’s important to note that social phobias and introversion are like the crutch of all those online tests, so if you have either of those, that IS NOT to say you have autism, but the tests tend to qualify those as traits. I’m personally fairly extraverted, so I’m usually weeded out of those. Although, of course, my OCD says “well what if you’re not extraverted” which is another ‘ugh’ moment. And there is a big relationship between OCD and autism, but that doesn’t mean that to have OCD you must have autism. I have a few friends with OCD who are by no means autistic. But, I’m not aware of your specific situation so I don’t wanna be making points on behalf of you, lol. But, we can chat about this if you like!
- Date posted
- 4y
This is so incredibly reassuring. It makes so much sense that those tests prey on introversion. I am v introverted but not because social situations are perplexing to me, it’s just because i’m introverted lol. Thank you for helping me to realize that and gain some clarity omg. And i’d love to discuss this more with you! <:
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, I’d be lying if I was to say “introversion isn’t a quality of autism”, because it is, but correlation isn’t always causation and should never be treat as that without more evidence! And yeah, you can add my insta if you’d like! I’d like to get to know more people who have OCD!! Fine if you’re not comfortable with that :-)))
- Date posted
- 4y
ohh so relatable I often catch myself with intrusive thoughts of autism cause I feel like I've always been... another? not like everyone around me, i guess I always had troubles with getting with people , I was bullied and abused with people of every society/company i was in. i've always been anxious and dubious, a lot of people can confirm it. i know that my fears of having autism are just obsessions, but knowing it doesn't make me feel more confident of my "normality", it just make me feel ashamed of my thoughts. my fears are killing me, i don't know how to resist it
- Date posted
- 4y
i totally relate with feeling like “another”!! And I’ve had very similar situations like yours with bullying/abuse. I personally wrote it off as me just being a little “off beat” just because that’s who i am. but i can’t help but wonder if this could be accredited to some sort of mental ailment. i’ve always been referred to as “quirky” which irks me a little because sometimes it seems so alienating to be referred to as such. as if people were kind of mocking me or something?? i don’t know, it’s hard to figure out. what usually helps me cope is realizing that i’m actually comfortable with who i am and all of the little knickknacks that make me, me. even if being “another” makes me feel rather insecure sometimes, i find that its my identity none the less. i don’t know if that was too wordy lol, all this to say that i relate!!
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, I had a friend who was particularly introverted, and I think being ‘quiet’ & ‘shy’ can cause you to appear vulnerable, and when someone seems vulnerable, it becomes easy for people to prey on them for their own entertainment, etc. For example, I’m 16 (17 in july) and I was close friends with a girl who I sat next to in maths. We got along really well, despite being fairly different people on the outside. She always had a very small group of friends, who l could never really jive with. A girl who I had been friends with in the past, who had a tendency to bully people found my friend, Holly and took advantage of her vulnerability. Holly is not autistic, at least I highly doubt she is, but on the surface, given what we ‘know’, she’d probably qualify to some degree as being autistic, given the parameters of the online tests. Not every single person who was bullied or felt ‘different’ is autistic. There’s a correlation, but correlation isn’t always causation! Hopefully that puts things into a bit more perspective if things are becoming blurred.
- Date posted
- 4y
@rvpink And for the record, I approached the girl who was taking advantage of my friend Holly with my other friends, and she was SO awkward. Lmao. It’s all fun and games until people get brought up on their bullshit. So yeah, that’s my story.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Itsgonnabeok Yes!! this does add a lot of perspective!!btw, people stink i’m sorry that happened to your friend :/ but i relate a lot with this situation. it seems like i attract people who have more overbearing, or at least in relativity to me, personalities. i’ve always described my personality as majority passive so it’s perplexing that i keep attracting fiery individuals. that’s probably why i feel so out of place socially. i’ve always thought that despite my introversion , i was especially in tune with people’s emotions and social cues and that i, myself, was a decent conversationalist . which conflicts a lot with the rather juvenile ideation i have of autism ( i.e social ineptness). i know you’ve mentioned this breifly but does this theme conflict heavily with your identity too?
- Date posted
- 4y
@rvpink Yeah, they do, lol. Fun fact, the girl we’re talking about (her names Lucy) had come up to me a few months later at a big party. She was a little drunk so she was apologising incessantly for how she had treat Holly, and I just accepted her apology on behalf of Holly. I guess most people are redeemable, maybe, lol. But, to answer your question, autism does not correlate with how I perceive myself whatsoever, but, like most themes, that doesn’t kill off the obsession. And yeah, I’ve always gotten a long with people who aren’t like me. I seem to be drawn to quiet people, I always have. Although, I was best friends with a girl who is even more ‘fiery’ than myself for many years, and as we’ve grown we’ve drifted but I still consider her a dear friend. But by in large, I am definitely drawn to the quiet introverted types I guess. And yeah, I enjoy people a lot, and when I find someone I like it’s just the best.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Itsgonnabeok oh lol i guess opposites really do attract. i wouldn’t go as far as to say i enjoy people but i do appreciate them a lot. but i admittedly love the feeling of “clicking” with new people as well! :,) also in having this conversation i’ve realized a lot about myself and definitely really deconstructed this obsession ( at least for the time being). the thought process that led me to believe i was on the spectrum seems a little neurotic to me now :p so i’m very thankful for this convo!! also you are so well articulated especially for your age (not that i’m much older lol, 19). it’s so refreshing to have spoken to someone like you :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@rvpink Aw thank you so much! It’s been super rewarding to finally hear from someone who has had this theme because I was SO isolated with it. And yeah, I guess ‘enjoying’ people is a pretty extraverted thing, haha. I think a lot of these obsessions are perpetuated by the internet trivialising things that aren’t trivial and blurring the lines between mental conditions and normal human behaviour. My mum had said something when I was telling her about my obsession. Her therapist many years ago (when she was suffering with post natal depresssion) had said something very relevant to us. She said that if you were to read the DSM back to front, you’d come out with a handful of different mental illnesses, most of which you would not have. You have to be qualified to interpret the literature, and I think a lot of the time we forget this and go down rabbit holes! At least I do. Come back to this thread whenever you need to talk something out, I’m always here!!
- Date posted
- 4y
@Itsgonnabeok you’ve enlightened me so much! especially appreciative of the dsm bit, that’s such important information to know :,) and i just saw your insta message!! my handle is @parfwana
- Date posted
- 4y
@rvpink Yep!!! And yeah, just requested you :)
- Date posted
- 3y
I know I'm super late to this thread, but thank god its here! After an offhand comment from someone last week, I have been obsessing about whether or not I might have autism, and being totally stuck in a hole. Googling has been non stop for me, and taking lots of tests! Absolutely petrified that I've had it forever and never realised, so been replaying loads of old events in my head to see if I felt different then or if the signs were there. I thought I was the only one trapped by this!
- Date posted
- 2y
People with autism can blend in with the crowd too
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
- Date posted
- 14w
How to know if you actually have it or if I’m just making up the symptoms? I have a lot of intrusive thoughts constantly and even have a “theme” but it really surged after I search up what I was experiencing, but then again I search up a lot of what I experience and constantly have to recheck things. My parents say I’m normal but I know I’m not, (both of my siblings have adhd) I find it immensely hard to focus from turning 17-18. Please let me know what you think l! Thanks!
- Date posted
- 8w
My mom will sit and listen to me for quite a while, but she interrupts a lot and gets angry/upset. While I appreciate her passion, it's often stressful. Every time I come to her, if I even *mention* OCD, she gets frustrated and says, "Everyone deals with these issues, you know. It doesn't mean it's OCD." And I repeat, "I'm not saying my issues are unique — I'm saying the way I respond to them is a problem." But she just shakes her head and says, "Okay, I need to get back to my day." Full context, I'm an adult, and I live with my boyfriend, but I'm staying at my mom's for the next month. After living away from home for years, I went back to living with her during the pandemic, and I only recently left to live with him. Honestly, I think living with her for so long in my adulthood really messed with me and made me feel like a teenager all over again. I feel like my mental growth is stunted, and that's part of why my OCD is so bad lately. Not blaming, just noticing. She doesn't seem to understand how relieving the OCD diagnosis has been for me, because it explains so so so many things I've struggled with for years, and it's exciting to have more resources that can help me. But I think she sees it as me finding an excuse to *not* work on myself, which is just untrue. I'm not going to let OCD hold me back or use it as an excuse, but I'm also not going to pretend it's not a problem when I know it is — I was even diagnosed through NOCD. The whole point being to fix it, not use it as a crutch. When I have an issue, it's unbearable. Any issue, big or small, feels just the same. I feel a sinking feeling, my mind races, my heart beats out of my chest. I end up running to my support systems, crying, ruminating for days on end. Then, months later, the same exact issue can feel like nothing anymore, because it's no longer an obsession. I'm sure everyone deals with issues in a similar way, but I *know* there is something specific and debilitating going on with me. This is reassurance seeking, but in the face of being told I'm making a big deal out of nothing, can someone diagnosed with OCD tell me if they relate to the specific intensity of these feelings??
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