- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Hey I don’t know y’alls pronouns but I am a cis-gendered male who now in a loving relationship with the woman I want to marry. But before her I was in a 3 year long emotionally abusive relationship that ended badly. I’ve noticed my partner having similar anxieties to yours and I wanted to share my thoughts about what I’m think when she feels the way you do. Honestly: I know that I am with my partner NOW because she is my best friend, partner, everything. Whether or not your relationships are at that level, the only way I compare my partner to my ex is in two ways. Just noticing similar traits in partners that I notice from time to time (i.e. for me it was having a sense of humor that is silly. They are silly in different ways but it’s that silliness that I know I needed In partner. The other way? I think about how much happier I am to be with my partner now. She is my WORLD. There is a reason I got myself out of the abusive relationship and now in a beautiful relationship with “M”. She is my other half. Now, idk if you’re at the level of engagement or anything, but as a guy, I never feel the need to compare because I only wanna be with my girlfriend. You know how you may have liked something like a “bad boy sketchy type” but later in life you’re like, WOW that’s not attractive (unless that’s you’re thing then peace, love happiness). By us choosing YOU we are growing and maturing further into our life and as we grow we learn to choose what would be the best partner for me in every way; mentally, lifestyle, interests, morals etc etc. Long story short, by us moving on from the past and choosing you to be our futures, it’s a choice that I know I don’t regret.
- Date posted
- 6y
I know where you're coming from, I hit a low point where I checked my boyfriends ex girlfriend's page almost every day and compared my looks and posts they shared, thinking she was better and prettier and less problematic etc etc. It only got better when I talked to my boyfriend about it and he told me all about their relationship and how problematic it was and he told me how he thought I was better for him in every aspect, sometimes I still obsess about it but this heart to heart conversation really helped me, so maybe that could help you too!
- Date posted
- 6y
Ugh I know how you feel.... I struggle with the other females, past or present, in my boyfriends life too.
- Date posted
- 6y
Forgive the typos
- Date posted
- 6y
Honestly I have talked to him about it and his relationship with her was also problematic. But I still obsess even tho I know it was bad. Which is why I feel like I’m going nuts
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I don't know. I just fucking went down a huge rabbit hole of this lady on ROCD Reddit who described something very similar to how I feel about my boyfriend. She was so scared to break up but wanted to anyway bc she wanted to explore and stuff. A lot of the stuff she wrote was things I swear I could have written myself. And I feel so anxious and sick bc she ended up leaving her boyfriend. She's not happy now but feels it's the right choice. I'm so fucking scared - bc I feel like I need to do it now. I feel in ways no ROCD sufferer has felt and I swear this is true. What the fuck??
- Date posted
- 23w
i feel so bad for posting here, idk what i wamt i have so many thoughts abt the feelings i have for my bf im scared my thughts are true or that they will be true and i feel bad for feeling amd thinking this way i such a bad girlfriend, i am scared that i like other people just because i look at them or talk to them normally and i feel like a liar what cam i do to stop feeling like this i am scared
- Date posted
- 15w
Hi I don’t know but I’ve being having so much stress in my relationship with my boyfriend and I feel like I’m upset at him with small things and taking it out on him like when he looks at other girls or when he repost things with girls it upsets me and changes my mood and people tell me to talk about it with him but I don’t know how to talk to him about it because I don’t necessarily know how I feel I feel mad and upset and I feel like crying but I also just can’t express how I feel and I don’t know what to even say to him to communicate how I feel I found this app by googling”how to feel more stable in my relationship” I feel like I’m not in a relationship sometimes and I just want everything to work out with him but I don’t know what to do I wanna feel like all those relationships you see and feel loved and want to have a future but I don’t know how to get there
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