Anyone ?

I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?

Ughhhhhh it feels like I can’t tell between false attraction or attractive 😭 :/ idk I just saw some pics of joji and artist that makes music when he was younger (it was a post on insta) and on one of them I thought oh he looks cute here, but no I’m like omg but idk in what way tho but it felt like not false attraction like I thought or meant it in another way and I. Felt that and then kinda freaked out bc idk if it’s weird and then I felt groinals and *sigh*

Please help…. I haven’t had an OCD spiral on this topic in well…a long time. For background, I’m in a very loving relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. I believe we will get married. When we first started dating, he had told me he had a roommate and me, having ocd, googled him to “make sure I wasn’t attracted to his roommate”. However, to my lovely anxious surprise, I didn’t know if I found his roommate attractive or not. In fact, I think I did find him attractive! This turned into a full spiral and what if thoughts, and it was horrible. Eventually I kinda learned to deal with it, but I always felt kind of awkward around his roommate. Fast forward 3 years later, he’s still one of his very best friends so we see him often. And sometimes, this thought still spikes. In full honesty, I actually DONT KNOW if I think his friend is attractive. I obsessed about it so much before I ever officially met him that once I met his friend, I didn’t know what I thought. Anyways, this randomly spiked again, and the thought is “if you’re still anxious you’re attracted to his friend 3 years later, that must mean something…” and boom, spiral. I have thoughts of “check if you’re attracted to him” when we’re around him and I’m so embarrassed honestly. Because at the end of the day, so what if he’s attractive? It’s not like I want to do anything about it, but of course, even saying that, ocd goes “are you sure? You should think of scenarios to check and make sure”. If anyone has been through this, can you please offer advice on how to disregard? I have a hard time accepting finding other people attractive while in a relationship is a normal thing