I'm really struggling today. The anxiety and doubt about my relationship is extreme and is making me feel sick. I'm having a hard time focusing at work. I'm so discouraged š. Thank you all for letting me vent.
I feel you. I've slowly recovered from this subset, but I get it still. It's so easy to look back once you've recovered and say, "What the heck was I worried about?". You'll get there. Remember that the thoughts, and especially feelings, mean NOTHING. It just sucks when it disrupts everything. Put on some YouTube, if you can, and listen to stuff you enjoy.
Thank you. It's hard to be hopeful when I feel like this most days. I fear that I'll never get married because of how strong this affects me š
@Sunshineflowers7 There it is again! I caught it for you. XD "I fear this and that...". OCD. That's all it is. You've got this, dear.
@Lucy vs Bad Neuronal Pathways The thing is, I've never had a formal diagnosis. I'm just going off of my symptoms. I just diagnosed myself
@Sunshineflowers7 That's all you need, sometimes. When the obvious, obsessive symptoms are there, that's all you need. Trust me, even with a formal diagnosis, you still doubt you have it. XD
@Sunshineflowers7 - I know firsthand that it can feel like it is a endless cycle of suffering- but I promise you, it doesn't always have to be that way, I lived many, many years with pain and suffering from OCD but eventually when I received the right treatment and put my whole self into the process I began the recovery journey. It is a everyday practice but it doesn't control my life any longer and I am so much more at peace. You can do this.
I am so sorry that you are struggling with this. OCD can be so hard at times, but know that it won't always feel the way it does in this moment. Check this out:https://youtu.be/w4r0kir8COY
I just want to say thank you for this thread ā¤ļø
I am so sorry to hear you are struggling. Please try to keep in mind that OCD is the doubting disease. It often attaches itself to the things that are most important to us. Therefore, itās not surprising itās coming up in your relationship. When the thoughts, fears, and doubts come to mind try not to analyze them nor try to answer the questions they bring to mind. At the same time, donāt try to push them out of your mind. Instead try to allow yourself to have the thought and respond with a neutral statement like āthanksā or āmaybe itās true maybe itās notā without engaging any more or less than that. I know easier said than done, but with time and practice it does get better.
Thank you everyone for the support and encouragement to keep going
my therapist suggested that some of my less bad rocd intrusive thoughts are actually mine, and not intrusive. She ended up taking it back when she saw the alarm on my face and saw how panicked I got. I feel really freaking anxious. We were only talking about it because I mentioned a lot of doubt surrounding those less bad ones, but it only filled me with more doubt. I donāt want those thoughts to be mine. I really donāt. I feel scared and so discouraged after this session. I feel scared about the worst thoughts, what if those arenāt intrusive. I feel so much doubt.
This might contain triggering content, but I'm also wondering if others have dealt with this similar thought, and if so, how to deal with it? Overall, I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm able to eat again, which I hadn't been able to do because of how much anxiety I'd been experiencing. I'm spending time around loved ones and not just rotting in my room, and I've been able to wake up without immediately being bombarded by intrusive thoughts. When things first got really bad, I'd wake my mom up every night for reassurance, but I haven't done that in a while either. I'm really proud of myself, but there's still this nagging thought in my mind... While looking through others posts on here, hoping to find advice that'd fit my situation, I ended up making things worse. Someone mentioned how they had a fear that they'd purposely search for illegal content (related to POCD). I panicked, and "what ifs" flooded my thoughts. "What if the intrusive thoughts affect who I am as a person, and I do that?" I'm terrified that I'll search for those things, which I know means I wouldn't do it. But then, another person on here said they'd actually looked for those things, and that freaked me out even more. Does that mean it's possible for that to happen to me? I don't want to do that, but I keep having intrusive thoughts surrounding it. I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm just... stuck. I don't know what to do. I've spoken with other people who have the same fears, but how do I manage this? It's not something I've even thought about before seeing those posts. I've been practicing accepting the uncertainty, but I'm really struggling with this one. I hate this. This morning, I woke up, and the intrusive thoughts were back. It's just disheartening.
Lately, Iāve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriendāheās such a good, beautiful, and wonderful personābut Iām afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but Iām scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if Iām forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didnāt feel anything, and I started thinking I donāt like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. Whatās confusing is that I also have many momentsālike today and in the past few daysāwhere Iāve felt really good and Iāve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesnāt deserve this, and I feel like Iām posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I donāt want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like Iām betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like theyāre forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like theyāre true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety
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