- Date posted
- 1y
Good morning !🙂↕️
Does anyone else wake up with such a guilt feeling or like a very heavy heart from your sleep like tired of feeling or still having ugly thoughts in your mind?
Does anyone else wake up with such a guilt feeling or like a very heavy heart from your sleep like tired of feeling or still having ugly thoughts in your mind?
Yep. Every morning. It’s usually worse when I first wake up because I’m bombarded by guilt and intrusive thoughts. Gotta regulate.
Yes every morning and night. Its a torture, how i wish i wake up energetic, hopeful and happy. Feels like a living hell everyday 😪
@Kpika It feels like it took your life away I understand, I wake up everyday wishing to have my old life and how I would complain back then.
@yaya_zz Me too, how i wish i can get back my normal life. Haiz, i hope it will someday. I wish you too. Just to let you know that i feel you, we can get through this, this shall pass, virtual hugs!
yes. i had a really bad episode last night and i just woke up right now and the second i woke up i immediately started thinking about those thoughts again. it’s tough, but we’ll get through it.
Omg yes. You are not alone. When I was in the pits of OCD hell, I’d wake up and my mind would immediately recall, my heart would race, and my stomach would drop. I don’t wish it on my worst enemy. My brain wouldn’t even give me 5 minutes to wake up in peace. I think what you are describing here is actually one of the worst things about having OCD.
Mornings and nights are worse for me. I cannot get more than 3 hrs of sleep. I wake up every hour feeling anxious and it takes me some time to calm down and try again.
Absolutely. Yup. I worry when I gotta sleep and then I also worry about how it’ll be when I’ll wake up. Because these thoughts start before I even wake up.
some days I wake up with so much dread and guilt. It makes it so hard to keep going. I open my eyes and I’m hit with a wave of nausea and terror. I feel ashamed of my compulsions and my OCD. I feel like a monster for my checking compulsions. For momentarily sexualizing things that shouldn’t be sexualized out of anxiety. I’m ashamed of a lot that I give into because of anxiety. Confessing things that are meaningless to my boyfriend. I feel so awful and unworthy of existing and of love. I feel hopeless I don’t want to keep pushing, the more I push the more meta my OCD becomes and the more guilt I feel for this mental illness. The more confusing it becomes to do ERP. If compulsions are a choice, they feel like life or death and it’s driving me insane, I beat myself up so badly over them I’m scared of compulsions, I’m scared of thoughts, I’m scared to be awake, I’m even scared of sleeping because my intrusions and compulsions haunt me there too. I spend my dreams trying to explain or justify my OCD and compulsions to people. I’m exhausted, I want this to stop so badly. My severe OCD isn’t feeling any less severe and it’s been months. I don’t want to keep questioning my every move but I’m so hyperaware of everything I do. I’m so tired. Some days I don’t even have tears to cry with. I’m just so full of despair and shame
So I’m not sure how many/if any of you are Christians, but I’m assuming this can still make sense to some of you. This morning has been rough. I’m constantly thinking, “am I saved? Have I never been saved and I’m tricking myself into thinking I am? When I’m listening to Christian music am I doing for the right reasons? Is it too late for me?”. Things I know the truthful answers to but yet I still think these thoughts. I don’t understand why. Why do I constantly think about these “what if”’s? My heart always feels so heavy and I feel as if I need to talk to God right then and there to make it stop and go away. But then am I talking to the Lord for the wrong reasons? And the cycle repeats. Thankfully, day one of my therapy is tonight and I’m hoping to find at least a little clarity on this stuff. I’ve had OCD for 7 years and I don’t even know how it works. Any advice?
Any one else deal with this? Like from the moment they wake up to the second they fall asleep, the intrusive thoughts are there?
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