- Date posted
- 1y
Exhausted
A bit hopeless. I feel like my efforts to overcome ocd are mostly in vain.
A bit hopeless. I feel like my efforts to overcome ocd are mostly in vain.
Some days are good days, some days are not. If you're feeling some pessimism, try to take the night to be kind to yourself. Do something you enjoy. Continue doing your best with your erp (don't stop trying because ocd is waiting to find an opening). Everything your doing is making a difference, even if you aren't sure. Its a journey that makes progress one day, one step, at a time. Have a good evening.
@Student of my mind Much needed words. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. In the midst of me feeling so hopeful this past weekend while practicing erp, i had some major setbacks.
@Bumblebee30 I just recently dealt with the same thing. Hopeful progress followed by frustrating back sliding. I'm now getting my footing back again and these words are what others told me on this message board, as well as what I'm seeing myself. You sound a little better. I'm glad we have this space to help each other. :)
@Student of my mind I feel less alone now, on one hand I’m glad to know there are others going through the same trials as me, on the other hand i wish you and so many others didn’t have to.
@Bumblebee30 I feel the same about you and everyone else too. The good news however, we've found our way to help, and we can support each other as we take back our lives. I think the worst part may be behind us, now that we're not dealing with this alone. :) I hope you have a good day today!
@Student of my mind Ah you’re quite right. First step in the right direction - knowing we are not alone (Oh and we are not crazy) because for a while i was considering it😏
@Bumblebee30 I can't imagine going through this even 50 years ago. How fortunate that there's a better understanding and resources nowadays.
@Student of my mind Oh absolutely. I see OCD in all it’s glory on my Dad’s side of the family but they don’t know. Back then, this wasn’t even a term they heard of, let alone understood.
@Bumblebee30 It happens. UPS and downs. Lean into your heart and true values
It's all so exhausting! Sometimes you just need to try and forget it all and get some sleep. I know easier said than done. I hope you can relax a bit a get a good night's sleep
Great advice. And making sure to eat properly is important too. My ocd gets worse if I'm hungry and/or tired.
@Speckles Exhausting truly is the right words. Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it.
I know this feeling, but I promise it’s not in vain. Progress may not be linear, but every step you take is a step in the right direction! Bad days don’t mean you’re not moving forward. Take care of yourself and have faith that things will get easier with time :)
@Luckyfish Your kind words put a smile on my face. Thank you for that. Needed this reminder big time.
im sorry to hear that remember its never in vain you got this i hope you feel better soon
@thorpesarah563@gmail I appreciate this.
My mental health is declining due to ocd. It’s like a huge mix between ocd episode and depression wave. I feel weak and hopeless. I wanna cry. I’m exhausted . I feel like I’ve lost myself again.
some days I wake up with so much dread and guilt. It makes it so hard to keep going. I open my eyes and I’m hit with a wave of nausea and terror. I feel ashamed of my compulsions and my OCD. I feel like a monster for my checking compulsions. For momentarily sexualizing things that shouldn’t be sexualized out of anxiety. I’m ashamed of a lot that I give into because of anxiety. Confessing things that are meaningless to my boyfriend. I feel so awful and unworthy of existing and of love. I feel hopeless I don’t want to keep pushing, the more I push the more meta my OCD becomes and the more guilt I feel for this mental illness. The more confusing it becomes to do ERP. If compulsions are a choice, they feel like life or death and it’s driving me insane, I beat myself up so badly over them I’m scared of compulsions, I’m scared of thoughts, I’m scared to be awake, I’m even scared of sleeping because my intrusions and compulsions haunt me there too. I spend my dreams trying to explain or justify my OCD and compulsions to people. I’m exhausted, I want this to stop so badly. My severe OCD isn’t feeling any less severe and it’s been months. I don’t want to keep questioning my every move but I’m so hyperaware of everything I do. I’m so tired. Some days I don’t even have tears to cry with. I’m just so full of despair and shame
Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.
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