ihatemyocdsomuch

Date posted: 28w

Engaging with thoughts

Have you ever engaged in a thought and only left you more confused?

Solrose

Date posted: 28w

Of course. This is rumination. You can’t analyze OCD or use logic against it. It will always find something new to throw at you. Even when you think you have the answer, it creates something else. Try your best to not engage and just give neutral responses, and live in the moment.

ihatemyocdso...

Date posted: 28w

Thank you!! ❤️‍🩹I'm having intrusive thoughts like: I want this. And then I think maybe I want this if... And I freak out

Solrose

Date posted: 28w

@llalala Yes, I deal with the same thoughts and feelings - that I want this, I like this, I will act on this, etc. I completely understand. It doesn’t matter how it’s phrased though, still just thoughts. Still just feelings. I like to say to myself “no amount of analysis will be enough.”

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 28w

Yep, it leaves me feeling worse. Sometimes I’ll think maybe deep down I like this and I’m just scared of judgement. Sometimes I’ll think maybe it’s okay to think or want this. Sometimes I’ll think it’s not as bad as it seems (to a particularly vile thought). It leaves us feeling confused because it a form of checking + rumination. As if subconsciously you want to make sure you still have morals after you’ve justified something that you know goes against your beliefs (but in that moment you doubt it) Is similar to what you experience?

ihatemyocdso...

Date posted: 28w

@isshpra 🫶🏻 Yes!! Exactly. Sometimes I think "is this really wrong?" or "someone did this, are they wrong?". It's scary. It's good to know I'm not alone.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 28w

@llalala I’ve found myself almost feeling bad for terrible people on the news. It makes me feel so ashamed but I know it’s not real. It’s just all another form of checking and ruminating. It’s you trying to deal with really big emotions that come from dealing with this disorder. None of it is real no matter how real it feels.

ihatemyocdso...

Date posted: 27w

@isshpra 🫶🏻 Yes!!! this happens to me too🥹

I’m Batman

Date posted: 28w

Oh yeah. I’ve yelled at it before “wtf do you want from me” and just get crickets… You can’t logic it , argue with it or reason with it. There is always that next “what if”. The key is to acknowledge it’s there but don’t engage. Engaging is rumination which can become a compulsion. Compulsion feeds it. OCD grows and demands more food and now it consumes your day. You can’t push the thought away, you will just think of it more. Think of it like breathing. You breathe automatically until just now when I made you aware that you are breathing and now you might be doing it manually lol. Same thing with thoughts … they are automatic and just happen. We choose to engage with them. Then they become manual. Choose not to engage. Acknowledge it’s there and let it be. It’s tuff when you start but typically becomes more easy as you practice it.

ihatemyocdso...

Date posted: 27w

@I’m Batman Thank you!! This is a really good explanation. I was having doubts the other day about thoughts being automatic, because people always say that intrusive thoughts are “the ones you don’t want”, but sometimes my thoughts are so confusing and so many that they seem “normal”.

Anonymous

Date posted: 28w

Yessss

Nica

Date posted: 28w

Yes, it’s rumination and it is a compulsion that just makes OCD worse.

Ridiculousat...

Date posted: 27w

Yes my problem is I would be stuck in a loop with those thoughts. It only made things worse for me.

ihatemyocdso...

Date posted: 27w

@Anonymous Yes!! The comments here helped me a lot❤️‍🩹

LiaExe28

Date posted: 27w

Yes all the time ;-;

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 18w

Maybe this is obvious but I need some insight pls

There’s something that happens that keeps me stuck in a thought, it’s when I can see some part of myself agreeing with or relating to it in some way. That’s when the doubt creeps in. If I can understand *why* the thought is there, doesn’t that mean it’s not just random? Doesn’t that mean it actually reflects something about me? For example **(TMI/TW)**: I had the thought, *“I wonder what other people’s kinks are (including friends, family, even teenagers).”* And then I caught myself thinking, *“Well, I guess that could be interesting information… maybe I wouldn’t even stop someone from sharing it with me. Does that mean I actually want to know? Wait—does that make me perverted or incestuous for even having this curiosity?”* The same thing has happened with other thoughts, like wondering what someone’s privates might look like. I recognize that, on some level, that could be interesting—but does that mean the thought is truly mine? Maybe the answer is super obvious and I just can’t see through my OCD smoke. This was a bit embarrassing for me to write 🥲, but can anyone provide some insight?

moon0270

Date posted: 17w

Mental compulsions/ rumination

So hard to not engage the thoughts because even though it's from the "past" (i don't even know if im remembering things correctly and it kills me) and i can't change it, I just NEED to prove it to myself that it didn't happen this way. If you'd asked me questions maybe a few months ago, I would have been able to lucidly explain things. Now I just feel like I'm in a constant swarm of thoughts, not knowing if anything is real. If my brain is to be trusted. Wish I could just get hypnosis to forget

VoiceInYourHead

Date posted: 16w

Intrusive Thoughts During “Me-Time”

So I was enjoying some “me time” and had intrusive thoughts, but it felt like just for a second I liked it. Like I’m holding myself back from “enjoying” the thought. And the thoughts are related to things I was into when I was younger, but sometimes I feel like I might still like it even though 9/10 I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Is this common? Or is this just denial? Thanks

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Engaging with thoughts

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