Engaging with thoughts

Does anyone else find it hard to let go of an intrusive thought when you can find some irrelevant truth to it that feels relevant? Examples: **“You’re attracted to *insert inappropriate person* (family member/child/animal)”** “But they are pretty/cute/adorable…” **“You think your bf is ugly.”** “Well, his hair did look weird the other day and I’ve taken unflattering photos of him. He *could* be (more fit/better dressed/etc)…” **“What if I actually want bad things to happen to me for attention?”** “Well, I have imagined people comforting me… and sometimes I do not mind when others check in on me.” **“What if I’m actually a bad person deep down?”** “Well, I have made mistakes before… and sometimes I do not immediately feel guilty.” **“What if I secretly want to be with someone else?”** “I have thought about what it would be like to date different people.” **“You wanted (family member/child/anyone else) to find you sexy”** “Well, I don’t want to be seen as ugly, and a compliment is flattering.” —— It’s such a skillful distortion at times that I don’t even realize things are twisted, and I genuinely believe the thought, causing me to panic so intensely. Only later, I look back and have small epiphanies where I realize it wasn’t at all what I thought. Anyone else?

I already made a post about this but I have theory over what might’ve happened because I can’t really stop freaking out about how much like me it felt. My boyfriend told me his cousin grabbed his other cousin’s girlfriend’s boob while drunk. Later, I started imagining it happening to me, with my boyfriend getting defensive (I love drama-filled moments in stories). Then, I thought, “Why couldn’t it have been me?” and got scared. I know I like attention, and I’m worried that’s why it felt so real. I almost felt excited. I’m wondering if it was just an intrusive thought or if my brain was mixing up the daydreaming feeling with that. Later that night, I started thinking about how I could position myself to make it more likely to happen, and I immediately felt horror. I’m into things like CNC, and I’m wondering if my brain got confused, mixing the daydreaming excitement with that preference, which is why it felt so real? I don’t know. I’m feeling scared because it genuinely felt like me both times. Has anyone else experienced this kind of brain confusion? Is that even possible?

So I think what's been so specifically tough for me (idk if this is what others go through with the real event stuff) is that ... Well I basically have this mental system... - Something has been dealt with -- which means it's "ok" it's "acceptable" assessment of ___. Rumination to "problem solve" with the intrusive thought. - CONSTANT inquiries to Challenge that previous assessment conclusion i.e. "no that hasn't actually been deal with, you didn't think about ____ or this other angle or this other new thing related to it" etc. Idk how tf you fix that with ERP? Idk up from down at this point Is the "system" OCD? Should people not try to problem solve (even though it's actually rumination)? Should I not engage with the "challenges?" HOW TF does Peace of Mind actually happen when the answers seem to be "you must be delusional" or "you must leave (significant) things un-dealt with / open ended" Like, what's that actual solution here? Hopefully this made sense. Thanks