getwellsoon
- Date posted
- 5y
FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 5y
Seriously though, the "maybe I enjoy the thoughts" or "I do enjoy the thoughts" are thoughts, not feelings. The guilt is the feeling. Feelings aren't your enemy, they just want to be felt, and the best and easiest way to feel your feelings is to seperate them from any beliefs which seem to go with them, and not attempt to draw any new conclusions based off them. A feeling of guilt is the normal reaction to a shameful idea/belief/intrusive thought/worry. There's nothing magical going on. Instead of resisting the feeling as a proxy to resisting the thoughts, just let the feelings come and go instead and then you can deal with thoughts on their own merit. The guilt or fear isn't some kind of special indicator that the belief is more likely to be true, it's just a normal physiological response.
luchalysolluchalysol
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel you. Its scares me so much, even laughing about something funny makes me feel like I like them and then feel guilty. Ocd really fucks with you in ways that are almost unexplainable.
FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 5y
The idea that you want or like the thoughts is a cognition, not a feeling. You can "feel guilty" but there is no such thing as "I feel like I like something shameful", instead it's "I have an idea or belief that I might like something shameful". It's beneficial to separate out cognitions and feelings, because to become flexible and adaptable and ultimately recover from OCD, you need to be able to accept and process feelings without attaching immediate judgments to them. For example, in luchalysol's case, laughing at something someone said triggers the thought that they like the person, which triggers guilt, which they then debate and resist, causing a cascade of worries and emotions which alternate between believing that the fear is true and doubting it. The steps to deal with it would be seperatkng the guilt from all the OCD debate and "evidence" which came after it, feeling the guilt physiologically until it goes away without doing any rumination compulsions or other attempts to get rid of the feeling by discrediting it or arguing with it. Then when the guilt is gone, it's much easier to internalise what you know already- that laughing at someone being funny probably doesn't mean you're romantically interested in them, and that it's not important to have a guarantee.
luchalysolluchalysol
- Date posted
- 5y
Im sorry, I didn't clarify, I have harm ocd, not hocd. I feel guilt because I "shouldn't" be laughing, even if at something completely unrelated, after having the intrusive thoughts Ive been having. It almost feels like ocd makes me believe that the only way I can disagree with my thoughts is if Im miserable all the time.
FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 5y
@luchalysol Oh, I see! Should work the same way though, thankfully. You have the idea that you shouldn't be laughing and any happiness is an indication that you feel ok about having the thoughts, which triggers immediate guilt. That is a VERY unfair thing for your brain to do to you, but arguing with the feeling obviously doesn't help the situation. If you can let that guilt happen properly as just a sensation, without any self reassurance and without thinking about the problem, it eventually all gets felt. Then by going back to the happy thing and feeling happy, you basically solve the problem. Even if you get the intrusive thought and the guilt again, you just repeat the process of feeling the guilt and then going back into doing the things you want to do and feeling the ways you want to feel despite doubts popping up. I've found feeling feelings makes me super flexible. Not trying to fight the feeling just makes it happen less often and feel a lot less convincing and strong, but it can be a bit inconvenient and draining to constantly take time out to myself to feel overwhelming, 'negative' emotions. But, I did manage to cure an entire theme via doing this only 2 or 3 times (feeling until the feeling is completely gone) using a book (letting go by David Hawkins), and then after that I didn't need to take the time to focus on and feel the feelings because they weren't very strong, instead I would just refocus to what's going on around me instead despite the nagging feeling that something was wrong (starving it of attention basically).
Ocd__letmebefree!Ocd__letmebe...
- Date posted
- 5y
Yea and I pray to not happend anything like I feel guilty and I always say sorry for those thoughts..?
Related posts
user74128588493
- Date posted
- 20w
hocd
i have had intense thoughts and fears about being gay today and i have been sick to my stomach. it just stopped and now im scared im accepting it and im not freaking out. i feel like im okay with it. I AM NOT OKAY WITH BEING GAY.
ivefailed.
- Date posted
- 17w
feel like im purposefully thinking intrusive image
i saw a trigger. and immediately imagined something se&ual that i really dislike and dont want. and now i feel horrible, because even if i didnt like it, i still imagined it. yes, it was an egodystonic intrusive image, but the moment i saw the trigger i knew i was going to have an intrusive image, i could have blocked it, i could have tried, but instead it happened automatically, the same type of se&ual image that is the same specific kind for any trigger, just now i was thinking abt it and it immediately appeared in my head. i dont know how much control do i have in it, because as i think abt it, it gets automatically visualized, but i'm the one who still gives the imput. i wonder how much responsibility do I have in this. because the unwanted image is sudden and automatic, but is like im conceding, im allowing it, like giving it up. it's some kind of self sabotage, it's not ocd creating the intrusive images, it's me imagining automatically and immediately once I see a threat what i don't want to think because i'm so used to, to sabotage myself and it feels horrible, especially if the trigger is a real person. it's like self sabotage. im not receiving passivly, im somehow actively thinking it automatically, i don't know how to explain it. i think abt how can't look at their parents eyes because they would be disgusted by me. no parent would be okay if someone had such images of their triggers even though it was intrusive and unwanted. and that feels defeating.
evasprog
- Date posted
- 11w
I feel like it’s getting worse
I feel like the thoughts and feelings are getting stronger, to the point where they feel like they are my own and that I want them and want them to happen. Recently I’ve even had feelings of ‘wanting to be gay’ and that I ‘don’t want to be straight’, or that being with a woman would be nice even though that’s literally the one thing I don’t want otherwise I wouldn’t be constantly thinking about it day after day surely and if I wanted it I would just know? I feel numb and sick and terrified that I’ll just be what I’ve feared all this time. Why does my brain do this. I feel like I’ve lost so much already, I couldn’t concentrate on university work and I’ve had to delay my degree for a year, I’ve lost my purpose, and I feel so ashamed that I can’t tell anyone the real reason for it (I just told everyone the course was too much stress and was causing me anxiety) and it just feels like it’s getting worse to the point that it’s actually coming true, and I’m going to have to leave my boyfriend because I can’t be with him anymore. Why do the thoughts sometimes feel good? Why does it feel like real attraction? Why why why does it feel like DISAPPOINTMENT with the idea of never being with a woman wtf this is literally what I don’t want and never have? Even just writing that out my brain is telling me ‘it is’ and ‘I’m lying’ and I just can’t even believe myself anymore. I’ve tried telling myself the whole maybe maybe not but it just doesn’t work. It feels like if I accept I like woman I’ll want to be with one and leave him. Why does the idea of being with a man not fill me with excitement like it used to why do labels terrify me I genuinely just want to give up I still haven’t even told anyone about this cause I just feel like they won’t understand and that they will just think I’m struggling with my sexuality and the worst thing is I don’t even know what I want anymore cause of the thoughts and feelings I don’t know what to believe what if I am actually just struggling with my sexuality cause nothing feels right anymore
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