- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Wow man sounds like we have a lot in common. False memories about when I was young (and yes I call them false but I still doubt as well) Acceptance is definitely the only way forward! Confidence over certainty. Super awesome that you are facing your fears especially with individual children your ocd likes to pick on. I get a lot of exposure in my job but I’m still on the road to recovery. Keep on kicking ocd in the butt my friend!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Wow that sounds like a better you than the one that was on here previously! Good for you, keep doing your ERP though!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I'm really happy to hear you're doing better mate.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I deal with very vivid false memories as well. At least I hope they’re false! They are actually what bother me the most. But I’ve learned to say “so what” whenever OCD throws them at me, and try to be kind to myself. In the small percent chance that I did do them, I was young and stupid, and I know that it would be wrong now and can move on with that. But work is great because it’s a place I can work on ERP the most. My OCD majorly locked on too a few of the kids at program, along with every child I see due to the POCD. 3 months ago I was calling out and hoping they’d be absent from my program so I wouldn’t have to be around them. Today, I spend as much time possible with them at program to teach my mind that it’s not a threat. (And actually, it’s pretty awesome because they super cool kids who make my time at program much more fun) I mean I get horrible intrusive thoughts sometimes, but I can brush them aside and am able to make an positive impact within the children’s lives. (That’s what really matters to me) I do the job I do, to make sure children have the best childhood they possibly can have. Haha, of course this OCD infested into this theme now looking at it.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Same here. A lot of memories that I can't tell if they're true or not. Some of them are just too weird to have happened.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
How do you deal with false memories?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Well, you kind of have to say "whatever" and recognize that if they did happen, you're a different person now and would never do that you "remember".
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’m so glad you are doing better letsgo! How is work going? I work with children too and the false memories I get really bother me
- Date posted
- 6y ago
What were the side effects? @letsgo I am starting it now and having issues getting to any type of dose that would make a difference. Sometimes I feel this creepy low type of anxious feeling makes me want to jump out of my skin. But it’s like this low feeling.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w ago
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Hey friends, I hope you all are well. I just wanted to check in and ask people's experiences about being on medication. I have had OCD pretty much my whole life, just got recently diagnosed 4 months ago and my therapist recommended that I get on meds for it so I have a psychiatrist appointment set up. I'm a little apprehensive about getting on them, but I've realized that I do have some sort of chemical imbalance in my brain that plays a part in my OCD and anxiety. I would love to hear anyones experiences or words of encouragement. Thank you, I hope you all are well.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 11w ago
December 14, 2024, marked two years since my first ERP therapy session with my NOCD therapist, Mixi. And October 2024 marked a year of being free from OCD. It was not an easy journey, confronting my fears face to face. Exposing myself to the images and thoughts my brain kept throwing at me, accepting that I might be the worst mother, that my daughter wouldn’t love me, and that I deserved to be considered a bad person. It was challenging having to say, “Yes, I am those things,” feeling the desire to run, but realizing the thoughts followed me. At the start of my therapy, I remember feeling like I couldn’t do this anymore. Life felt unbearable, and I felt so weak. I longed for a time before the OCD, before the flare-ups, before the anxiety, the daily panic attacks. I thought I’d never be myself again. But I now know that ERP saved my life. The first couple of sessions were tough. I wasn’t fully present. I lied to my therapist about what my actual thoughts were, fearing judgment. I pretended that the exposures were working, but when the sessions ended, I went back to not sleeping, constantly overwhelmed by fear and anxiety. But my therapist never judged me. She made me feel safe to be honest with her. She understood OCD and never faltered in supporting me, even when I admitted I had been lying and still continued my compulsions. My biggest milestone in therapy was being 100% transparent with my therapist. That was when real change began. At first, I started small—simply reading the words that terrified me: "bad mom," "hated," "unloved." Then, I worked on listening to those words while doing dishes—not completely stopping my rumination, but noticing it. Just 15 minutes, my therapist said. It wasn’t easy. At one point, I found myself thinking, “Will I ever feel like myself again?” But I kept pushing through. Slowly, I built tolerance and moved to face-to-face exposures—sitting alone with my daughter, leaning into the thought that my siblings might die, reading articles about my worst fears, and calling myself the things I feared. Each session was challenging, but with time, the thoughts started to lose their grip. By my eleventh session, I started to realize: OCD was here, and it wasn’t going away, but I could keep living my life despite it. I didn’t need to wait for it to be quiet or go away to move on. Slowly, it began to quiet down, and I started to feel like myself again. In fact, I am not my old self anymore—I’m a better version. OCD hasn’t completely disappeared, but it’s quieter now. Most of the time, it doesn’t speak, and when it does, I know how to handle it. The last session with my therapist was emotional. I cried because I was finishing therapy. I remember how, in the beginning, I cried because I thought it was just starting—because I was overwhelmed and terrified. But at the end, I cried because I was sad it was ending. It felt like I had come so far, and part of me wasn’t ready to say goodbye, even though I had already learned so much. It was a bittersweet moment, but I knew I was walking away stronger, equipped with the tools to handle OCD on my own. If I could change anything about my journey, it would be being open and honest from the beginning. It was the key to finding true healing. The transparency, the honesty—it opened the door to lasting change. I’m no longer that person who was stuck in constant panic. I’m someone who has fought and survived, and while OCD still appears from time to time, I know it doesn’t define me. I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments. Have you started therapy, is something holding you back? Is there something you want to know about ERP therapy? I'll be live in the app answering each and every one today from 6-7pm EST. Please drop them below!
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