SSRI success story: so far... It’s been 5 months since my POCD flare up. And it’s been by far the worst experience of my life. I was terrified to even leave my house and go to work (I work in child care) in December I decided enough was enough and went to see a specialist for a diagnosis. She diagnosed me instantly with OCD and recommended I gave medicine a shot. I started on Lexapro 4 weeks ago yesterday and the change has been incredible. That with a mix of ERP and Acceptance of the thoughts (Acceptance has been the biggest help, and very easy to do when the Lexapro makes me not care about the thoughts) Now, I won’t say I don’t get thoughts. I still absolutely do, but I get less of them. And when I get an extremely hard convincing one, I accept it in, and sit in any guilt I have until it naturally dissipates. I’m not recovered, not by a long shot. But I have a small piece of me back, and it feels good. I’m hoping with hard work, and not letting OCD thoughts get under my skin. Recovery will be possible. If you’re scared to try an SSRI. I completely understand. I was lucky enough to have the first one work for me. The side effects were HORRIBLE, almost worse than the OCD for well over a week. But the benefits I have now outweigh the negatives of that week. I’m not promising a fix with an SSRI. But I think it’s worth a shot. Hell, this could all come back to bite me in the ass, who knows? I believe in you guys, and I’m starting to believe in myself again. We can do this. We’re one big family here, and we need each other. (But no reassurance ??)

Wow man sounds like we have a lot in common. False memories about when I was young (and yes I call them false but I still doubt as well) Acceptance is definitely the only way forward! Confidence over certainty. Super awesome that you are facing your fears especially with individual children your ocd likes to pick on. I get a lot of exposure in my job but I’m still on the road to recovery. Keep on kicking ocd in the butt my friend!

Wow that sounds like a better you than the one that was on here previously! Good for you, keep doing your ERP though!

I'm really happy to hear you're doing better mate.

I deal with very vivid false memories as well. At least I hope they’re false! They are actually what bother me the most. But I’ve learned to say “so what” whenever OCD throws them at me, and try to be kind to myself. In the small percent chance that I did do them, I was young and stupid, and I know that it would be wrong now and can move on with that. But work is great because it’s a place I can work on ERP the most. My OCD majorly locked on too a few of the kids at program, along with every child I see due to the POCD. 3 months ago I was calling out and hoping they’d be absent from my program so I wouldn’t have to be around them. Today, I spend as much time possible with them at program to teach my mind that it’s not a threat. (And actually, it’s pretty awesome because they super cool kids who make my time at program much more fun) I mean I get horrible intrusive thoughts sometimes, but I can brush them aside and am able to make an positive impact within the children’s lives. (That’s what really matters to me) I do the job I do, to make sure children have the best childhood they possibly can have. Haha, of course this OCD infested into this theme now looking at it.

Same here. A lot of memories that I can't tell if they're true or not. Some of them are just too weird to have happened.

How do you deal with false memories?

Well, you kind of have to say "whatever" and recognize that if they did happen, you're a different person now and would never do that you "remember".

I’m so glad you are doing better letsgo! How is work going? I work with children too and the false memories I get really bother me

What were the side effects? @letsgo I am starting it now and having issues getting to any type of dose that would make a difference. Sometimes I feel this creepy low type of anxious feeling makes me want to jump out of my skin. But it’s like this low feeling.