- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
hi! i don’t get anxiety anymore with my thoughts. it’s frustrating because with anxiety i say to myself “okay i know i have ocd that’s why i’m so worried” but now without the anxiety i always question well is it actually ocd?? but i just learned to sit with the uncertainty once you really learn how to do it the less and less you will care about whether the thoughts are real are not. ocd is so frustrating, you aren’t alone❤️❤️
Very nice it’s hard tho cause somtime I feel like this isn’t real if know what I mean
YEA I did the same thing and like ruminating has been harder to determine if I am or not because of the less anxiety.
love the encouragement here, too - and yes, this is called the backdoor spike. once you recover or start to recover from ocd, it's common and typical for you to have thoughts like "what does this mean about me now that i'm not worried as much? does this mean i don't care? does that mean i really am a bad person, and it was good to have those thoughts?" ocd is tricky but you're calling its tricks out before it has a chance to take hold. AWESOME!
@Gabe445 - OCD can make it hard to tell - very rarely do we know yep 100% this is OCD and i don't need to worry about it! Usually there is some creeping feeling that this feels like a true emergency. The recovery process comes when you can still take that leap of faith and commit yourself to the ERP/process.
@Anonymous - Rumination is tricky for a lot of people. You aren't alone. Keep on keepin on!
It is definitely weird to sit with uncertainty. Think of it like if you were working a new muscle for the first time - if you go to the gym and start lifting weights, it'll feel weird... your body will kind of be in shock for a few days. But when you start to make those muscles stronger and stronger, you'll get into a groove and it won't feel as strange. You're doing a great thing for your mental health and for your recovery by sitting with that uncertainty. Great work.
I feel I’ve been having no anxiety lately too and just being uncertain but it feels weird to be uncertain but I feel like where getting better slowly
Yea it feels like getting better slowly. I kinda have into ruminating a little but still not responding as much
Recovery can definitely feel weird for a lot of people. After all, your brain is no longer preoccupied with the things that it used to be preoccupied with - so it's kind of like .. okay, what do we do now!? I find it helpful to make sure that I'm really engaging in my values. Whether that's family, health, hobbies - engaging in my hobbies and making sure that I'm living a values driven life helps me keep the recovery process moving along.
@Anonymous - Way to go!
@NOCD Therapist - Jenna O. Thank you so much! Yes definitely my brain is trying to figure things out haha. That's really good advice thank you!
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Thank you so much
Loooove the encouragement here! <3
This has been my experience recently. I have also found my brain jumping to one theme when another isn’t bothering me as strongly. We got this!
This is a huge sign of improvement! Awesome! That sneaky bouncing from theme to theme can knock people off their feet potentially but you're right - you've got this
@NOCD Therapist - Jenna O. 🥺 you made my day. I start ERP tomorrow. Thank you!!
my therapist suggested that some of my less bad rocd intrusive thoughts are actually mine, and not intrusive. She ended up taking it back when she saw the alarm on my face and saw how panicked I got. I feel really freaking anxious. We were only talking about it because I mentioned a lot of doubt surrounding those less bad ones, but it only filled me with more doubt. I don’t want those thoughts to be mine. I really don’t. I feel scared and so discouraged after this session. I feel scared about the worst thoughts, what if those aren’t intrusive. I feel so much doubt.
I struggle so bad with intrusive thoughts. They can be so bad that I'll cry because I KNOW that's not how I feel or want to do. (Too embarrassed to say what they're about) I'll constantly try to figure out why I have them, and constantly figure out what they mean, causing me to constantly circle around and around. I had to get on anxeity meds, which helped a little but the thoughts still happen. How do you help yourself with this? How do you know that you're just not some physcopath? 😅
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
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