So I realized that now that I don't get as much anxiety when I get intrusive thoughts it's hard to determine if I actually am them or which are intrusive thoughts. But I think that I was using the signal my brain gives me with the intrusive thoughts as reassurance. I seemed the anxiety even tho I hated it. So this is a weird sit with uncertainty.

I’ve got to the point with my OCD where I don’t really have compulsions anymore, just a few intrusive thoughts which I’ve learnt to deal with quite well now. But my main thing is anxiety about getting anxious (which obviously makes me become anxious?)or being the way I used to be. Has anyone else experienced this?

Ironically. Becoming desensitized to my intrusive thoughts sometimes frightens me. The security of knowing I had such intense anxiety when I had violent/bad/scary intrusive thoughts comforted me because it made me realize I didn’t want them and found them bad. If I’m not reacting to them, I’ve convinced myself that I think it’s okay and maybe deep down I am a bad person? Does anyone else relate to this? My anxiety has felt better lately toward my intrusive thoughts as I am trying to give them no value (that and probably my lexapro lol) but is what I’m feeling normal at all or can anyone relate?

So if as soon as you think of something you get an anxiety feeling in your chest but it’s not an unbearable feeling or feeling of great distress/angst but as soon as I think of that thought I get this anxious feeling in my chest does that mean I don’t like the thought but have gotten use to it so the anxiety isn’t really bad? Like can you get anxiety but but be so use to it that it doesn’t alarm you or come off really strong that you hate the anxious feeling? Because many times throughout the day I have a thought and I get this ‘mild anxious feeling’ but it kinda hits as soon as I ruminate …does that mean I don’t like the thoughts? I have been believing I’m bad and when I tested myself on an intrusive thought (it’s been bothering me a lot it’s about smothering someone😞) it felt so vivid but felt like ‘I liked the feeling of doing that when I imagined it’ I have been obsessing over it thinking I’m actually bad now and have sick desires, but the fact that as soon as I have the thought I get like an instant mild anxiousness in my chest does that mean I am uncomfortable/hate the thoughts but I have gotten use to them so my emotional response isn’t flaring up like it use to? Also why does it feel like I’m desperate to think about these thoughts but at the same time don’t want to think about them I don’t know what to do