- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
having a bad flair up day
i just need words of encouragement. it’s been too much in my head today. i can’t ever be in the moment with family.
i just need words of encouragement. it’s been too much in my head today. i can’t ever be in the moment with family.
I actually left my parents house earlier than I wanted to today because my OCD was flaring up and I didn’t feel like I was enjoying my time w them and just wanted to be alone. You’re not alone in that
Don’t worry. Everyone is struggling their own battles. If you couldn’t enjoy time with your family today there will be many more days. It comes and goes for me as well. You got this!
i completely understand, i think the new year affects it a lot too honestly and im not sure why. it’s good to acknowledge that it is in your head- it’s just thoughts! you are not your thoughts! you’re just the observer of them. unfortunately we can’t and shouldn’t try to control these thoughts, but we can control how we react to them and how we allow them to make us feel. its not easy, but i’m proud of you!
just when I think i’m having a good weekend and I can forget about my struggles my brain tells me i’m not allowed to feel happy and that there’s always SOMETHING i need to be worrying about. so frustrating :(
I don’t know if it’s worth it to keep going. I have so many diagnoses, so little support, and constant struggles with finding the right medication. My immune system is weak, I have multiple deficiencies, and I’m dealing with so many physical health problems on top of severe OCD. It’s just too much. On top of everything, my family treats me so not okay. Every single day is a fight just to keep going—to wake up, to eat, to take care of myself even a little. I’ve lost over ten pounds in the last two weeks from how depressed I’ve been. And instead of support, all I get is blame. My family constantly throws my struggles in my face, calling me selfish, as if I’m choosing this. I am trying so hard to push past all of this. But after five long months of severe OCD, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, and everything else making life unbearable, I am exhausted. And to be called lazy? Selfish? *Worthless*? How am I supposed to keep going when the people around me refuse to see how hard I’m trying? I don’t want this anymore. None of this suffering feels worth it. What am I fighting for just to be treated this way by my own family? To be yelled at for the look on my face, when my face reflects nothing but the stress, panic, and despair I’m drowning in? Am I still supposed to smile for them? This isn’t fair. No one should have to live like this. I don’t deserve to be treated this way, I’m really trying to keep going, but I just want everything to end.
i’m trying to not let the thoughts bother me but it’s just so stressful. even me typing that feels like i’m lying when i know i’m not. i’m scared because even my therapist tells me that it’s just ocd, but in the back of my mind i slightly don’t believe her, and its making me scared that i AM like those people and im gonna act on something. sometimes in social moments i get a quick thought of me being an outcast because im like those people who are sick in the head and act on that stuff, and it just makes me feel like i truly am gonna eventually act on something. another thing that bothered me is earlier my mom yelled at me for not doing school work (it was well deserved im really slacking on it) and i had like no reaction to her screaming. it had me thinking what if i have no empathy etc etc, and what if i get mad that she yelled at me and i do something involving those thoughts. how do i TRULY know it’s ocd? like i try to remind myself and be like “dude, your therapist said it’s ocd, she isn’t wrong” but the back of my mind is like “she is wrong, it’s not ocd and she just happened to misdiagnose you. you are gonna act on those thoughts and it’s your fate”. please someone respond if you read all of this, im really struggling
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