Lonliness & OCD

It seems to me, that, OCD really flares up in times of idle, lonliness, boredom, etc. Perhaps its a result of lacking hobbies during down-time - too much time to just think. I'm a university student and it always seems to be the worst during the break periods like summer and winter break. I'm in a weird spot where the OCD feels normal and doesn't really bother me, but does at the same time. I don't find myself consumed by fear so much anymore, but more annoyed and frustrated at the presence of OCD thoughts. I experience religious OCD mostly, and yesterday I was less fearful and more just genuinely angry that I was having thoughts about hell and the afterlife. So it still feels like it can consume me at times, but I suppose ERP is also working in stopping the fear response. Perhaps, the anger I'm experiencing nowadays comes from being too hard on myself and impatient. I'm not sure. I'd love to know the community's thoughts on this.

Username: ElevenBElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w ago

Sounds like you are improving with doing ERP. OCD healing is a journey, so give yourself time and grace, and as Raerenae said self-compassion. Scrupulosity is rough, it does make us hard on ourselves.

Username: daltonb.971daltonb.971

Date posted: 22w ago

@ElevenB I agree. I've honestly just recently started diving into the bible and church. So I think I owe myself some compassion. Its okay to have questions, especially considering this is still something new to me. Actually some of my exposures have been centered around going to church, asking questions, etc. It'll settle.

Username: RaerenaeRaerenae

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w ago

HEARD on the loneliness front, I recently moved from a place where I had really strong community and am now trying to build that up in a new place and my OCD had absolutely flared. And I highly recommend listening to some of Kristen Neff’s work on self compassion, she and Paul Germer have a workbook they co-authored that has really opened my eyes to how hard I am on myself about my mental health symptoms.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 22w ago

yeah I feel the exact same way, right down to the types of thoughts. what’s even harder is that my religious OCD makes it hard for me to get into any hobbies, because that thought of “but if heaven and hell are real, (working out/drawing/playing piano) doesn’t matter at all in the grand scheme of things, and the only thing that matters is trying to get to heaven and to convert as many people as possible”. and me personally I don’t even believe in hell, so it’s like my brain is telling me things I can’t rationalize or comprehend. but then when I have a good day, when the ruminations and compulsions die down for a little bit, i’m so glad for those times when things were hard but I still pushed through and made art and learned skills and played and spent time with my loved ones. for me the most important thing is remembering that the present moment and the present way I’m feeling isn’t eternal, and that there’s no way I can know whether or not hell is real. but the kind of person I want to be, ultimately, isn’t the kind of person who worries about hell and sin all the time; i want to be the kind of person who makes the world a better place, creates cool things, isn’t scared to learn and grow, maybe finds a husband or wife and starts a family without passing down fucked-up fears of hell to my kids, etc. and so even when i DON’T feel that way, when the OCD thoughts drown out everything else, practicing being okay with it is an important skill

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 22w ago

@Anonymous i feel you with regards to the anger, too. at myself, at the way organized religion gets used as a tool of abuse, at all the evil in the world. as the anxiety has gotten “quieter” with ERP, the anger has definitely gotten louder

Username: daltonb.971daltonb.971

Date posted: 22w ago

@Anonymous Wow, yeah you really nailed it. I think some of the reason I have thoughts centered around hell is also because I'm not really sure that I believe in it either. I believe in God, Jesus, and Heaven ... But there's so much controversy even in religious circles centering around the existence of hell. You're right, though, it just comes down to sitting in the discomfort and accepting the uncertainty. Honestly, I used to not even really be religious but considering so much of ERP and healing from OCD centers around just accepting uncertainty and having faith it drew me more towards it. Funny thing.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 22w ago

@Anonymous my personal advice: if you don’t think it’ll become reassurance-seeking, look into the experience of people who have had NDEs. pretty much across the spectrum - Christians, Muslims, atheists, people “living in sin” or people devoutly religious - the vast majority of people who had conscious NDEs have reported two things, a sense of great well-being and an increased desire to do good things in the world. of course this doesn’t prove anything, but I feel like it’s the closest we can get to “disproving” the idea of a “strict” and judgemental Hell that cares about things like whether you swear, what music you listen to, who you sleep with, etc.

Username: daltonb.971daltonb.971

Date posted: 22w ago

@Anonymous Interesting. I'll certainly check some out. Any specific video you had in mind to start with?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 22w ago

@daltonb.971 - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6172100/ this scientific article means a lot to me, i know it's not proof of anything and if you're scared of just death being the end it might not be too meaningful because a lot of people are claiming that it's just hallucinations/drugged experiences. but me, i'm not scared of death whether it's the afterlife with my loved ones or peaceful nonexistence, i'm just scared of hell. and i can believe that a loving god would still send people to hell, but i can't believe a loving god would trick so so many people of all walks of life (not just those who most strictly follow the letter of the bible or whatever) into thinking that they're going to heaven and then actually send them to hell. knowing that agnostics/atheists, gay people, people from the "wrong" religion (jews, muslims, etc) by and large all still experience a sense of great spiritual peace when dying, is really comforting to me. as i've said i need to get better at accepting uncertainty, but these stories make me believe more in a universal and loving god who's not quick to judge. i hope it brings you some comfort too

Username: daltonb.971daltonb.971

Date posted: 22w ago

@Anonymous Wow, thank you for sharing that. Reading through it brought me to tears and gave me a sense of peace I didn't know I had. And I'm not even done reading it yet. I cannot express my thanks enough!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 22w ago

@daltonb.971 i’m so glad :)

Username: alissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 5y ago

OCD worse in fall/winter: Does anyone else's OCD get worse in the fall/wintertime? I think maybe it's the combination of it being shitty and dark outside all the time, and always having to just be in the house. My friends are at college during that time of year too, so basically I just have zero distraction and it gives my brain too much time to overthink and create issues. I used to think I had seasonal affective disorder until I found out I had OCD, but I don't.

Username: RG123

Date posted: 2y ago

OCD Turns Off?

Does anyone else feel like they’re OCD turns off for a couple days? Like you go through an intense period of having intrusive thoughts and feeling the need to confess and then you only start to get thoughts here and there? And you try to keep yourself from having the thoughts but you’re not sure if it’s avoidance? Like I have felt sooo much better the last couple of days, especially in the morning, I live for those times of quiet in my head. But I still haven’t been able to accept myself for the things I might have done, like I can’t accept myself still because of my OCD. This probably sounds a little jumbled but I would like to think someone can relate lol

Username: livwantstore...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Holidays causing heightened OCD

Hi all! So I’m home from college now for winter break and I was just curious: does anyone else’s OCD spike when coming home for the holidays? Like having an uptick in intrusive thoughts related to family members, being home, just surrounding that theme? Would appreciate input! It makes me feel so isolated. ..

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