Ive had 3 good anxiety/OCD days in a row and now im really struggling. I am so tired of struggling and trying to battle my intrusive thoughts. I honestly just want to die. I feel like its easier than living with this. I remember my life before OCD. I remember being normal and i would give anything to be like that again, but i am so discouraged.

hannie

Date posted: 5y

Please don’t give into the OCD. You are so much more then meaningless thoughts. Everybody’s brains thinks thoughts. Thoughts that are even like people who struggle with OCD the only difference is we hold on to them. Please know that you are not Your OCD you just have it. Please know that everyone on this earths struggles with something. Everyone has good and bad days. You have to just take care of yourself extra on the bad days. You are so strong and deserve happiness. You will get through this. I know because I am in your same shoes. We will keep fighting!

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I used to have harm thoughts as a teenager, but now they're mostly about religious things. There's been a couple of times that I've thought suicide was the easier option, but it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. So, please don't feel alone. As a person with scrupulous thoughts, I totally understand. I hope you start feeling better, friend. Stay strong. ❤

hannie

Date posted: 5y

My OCD started out with checking and then turned into harm and shortly after, religious OCD and then existential, And then finally schizophrenia OCD( I have had a lot of OCD themes lol) Sometimes I struggle with all at once and that’s so terrifying. I started noticing my senior year of high school (2015) but a part of me feels like I have always kind of struggled with it my entire childhood. I have had a lot of traumatic events happen and a part of me believes this is my coping mechanism. Harm OCD was one besides my religious and schizophrenia, that was the hardest to get over because it plays into all of them. I have a huge fear of losing my mind and hurting someone or hurting someone in general. I know what you have been though and I know how scary those intrusive thoughts are. Thinking of you. Thank you! Stay strong as well?

tyla

Date posted: 5y

I am going through this right now, had a good few days and then randomly this feeling was like a brick sitting on my chest and I’m bad again. You’re not alone, I also have the fear of developing schizophrenia and developing delusions. My symptoms change on me all the time and makes it hard to ignore. They all feel real but just think how many good days you have and hold onto them tight. You’ll get through this x

hannie

Date posted: 5y

They feel very very real and it’s so scary. You’re OCD is so good at tricking. Even if we are 99% sure it’s not true there’s always that 1% that out ways the 99. My mind had me believing I was gonna go crazy. I have had fact like thoughts that I thought were delusions because they came in as any other thought I would have. They weren’t the normal what if’s so I panicked and thought I was delusional. It was scary, it was like I thought this was the finale few hours of my sanity and I was just gonna lose it. Like I have said before it’s so nice to know we aren’t alone. I know this is a pretty common theme. It’s one that hits me the hardest. Thinking of you and I know what you are going though. We will get through this together ?

ihateocdsomuch

Date posted: 5y

What is all your ocds

hannie

Date posted: 5y

I struggle with the fear of developing schizophrenia and also harm and religious OCD. What about you, if you don’t mind me asking?

ihateocdsomuch

Date posted: 5y

@hannie I have extreme contamination and hoarding somewhat but more the not being able to letgo aspect of haording

MPfeif14

Date posted: 25w

Encouragement please

I have had suicidal OCD for over a year now. I just am struggling to fight it tonight. I just have an enormous amount of self doubt and I can’t stop wondering if I’ll ever make it through this or not. My life is great but I just feel miserable every day. Any encouragement helps. Thanks

Anonymous

Date posted: 20w

Feel lost and without hope

I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 19w

I don’t want to do this anymore

I’m struggling so much, I don’t know what’s changed. I was doing so well for a solid two months and now it’s been over a month of just my lowest point. My bf has gotten upset at how much I do compulsions and it’s taxing him too. I can’t imagine how hard it is to be my partner right now. I feel exhausted I’m tired of my OCD finding new things to obsess or worry over. I’m so TIRED of getting stuck on technicalities. I’m so exhausted with the constant intrusive thoughts and intrusive thinking. I’m so sick of how compulsive I get when I’m so riddled with anxiety. I don’t want to keep pushing. It feels pointless if my life is going to be a constant loop of ups and extreme lows. I feel like such a disgusting, embarrassing person. I don’t want love because I don’t feel like I deserve it. I don’t want patience or understanding because it makes me feel so guilty. Like no one is understanding how bad of person I could truly be. I’m so lost and tired of this

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