I was doing fine without doing any exposures or compulsions for the past week. I also wasn’t ruminating a lot. Yesterday, I just did an exposure and my anxiety and rumination came back. My brain tells me ‘if you didn’t do that exposure, you would still be enjoying yourself now’. I really regret doing that exposure cus I was fine without it😭
You need to be able to do exposures to reach full recovery. Simply resisting compulsions is typically not enough. And just because you slipped up doesn’t mean you can’t get back on track.
@Maybe,MaybeNot the thing is I was pretty fine without doing any exposures or compulsions
@DillonLee True, but at some point there is going to be a trigger that is going to come up and you are going to have a strong urge to do compulsions. It’s inevitable. We need to continue practicing exposure regularly, even when we are doing good, to keep our brains habituated in order to maintain full recovery. This is just a part of your maintenance, friend. Yea did and exposure, it triggered you, but that’s ok. Get back on track with the exposure. What I mean is, if you are ruminating, stop now. If you are compulsing, stop now. If there is a way to “undo” a compulsion, do that. And take this opportunity to sit with it and try again. And honestly, who cares if the thought is true or not. Stop beating yourself up for trying to do something to manage your OCD. Just pick up where you are now and keep going. You’ve already made so much progress and it’s not completely gone.
@Maybe,MaybeNot yes I use this website too, it’s very helpful!
@Maybe,MaybeNot but the thing is my OCD only gets triggered in a certain game. I was doing fine since I don’t play the game anymore, but I just randomly decided to do an exposure for no reason even though I don’t play the game anymore so yea I think it’s a bad decision
@DillonLee But OCD can pop up in so many different ways. It changes themes. New triggers come up. Even if it was a “bad” decision, let it be that. We all make “bad” decisions. We are allowed to accept it for what it is and move forward.
As you probably know OCD can wax and wain so it would have come back anyway - don’t listen to OCD. If the exposure was too much dial it back but keep doing it.
When it comes to soocd exposures, that sometimes means engaging in triggering things like sex and intimacy with my partner, but I worry that I am sometimes also being compulsive like wanting to be intimate to see how it makes me feel, check my feelings, sensations, emotions etc. and then at that point how can I really do the exposure? Idk I’ve just been struggling so much with this theme lately. I feel like a fraud most of the time and the thoughts convince me I am deeply in denial, constant loop.
Feel guilty for not giving into compulsions like rumination and confessing? I feel guilt for having an intrusive thought, trying to shrug it off or just giving it a few seconds of thought and moving along. This sounds like improvement but I still struggle with the anxiety and the guilt. The shame. I’ll be okay and then I’ll remember I have OCD and my stomach will drop and I just want to curl up and cry.
I’ve noticed that I’m somewhat happier also ignoring my thoughts than I am instead of doing compulsions (I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired atp) but I’ve heard you’re technically supposed to do erp rather than pushing under the rug. But idk if I have a thought I just refuse to think about it again and im fine even if I want to do compulsions
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