i feel like no matter how hard i try to explain how i am feeling about my current thoughts, im just overthinking everything. if i start to feel bad i get intrusive thoughts that im lying to myself or doing it for attention. its so hard to ask for help when im the inly one having a strong reaction. im not sure if that makes sense but i don’t know what else to do.
Thank you for sharing what you are going through. It is so helpful for all of us to hear what others are experiencing. Those of us with OCD process thoughts differently than those without OCD. For us, quite often, when we have thoughts we over analyze them, and we find it impossible to dismiss or compartmentalize them. This leads us to believe they must mean something and that we need to figure it out. We start engaging in compulsions, such as ruminating, asking for reassurance, researching and numerous other mental and physical compulsions. We become fixated and preoccupied. Often the harder someone fights the thoughts or tries push them out of their mind, the stronger they get. Instead, Try to allow yourself to have the thought and respond with a neutral response; for example, with something like “thanks” or “maybe it’s true maybe it’s not” without engaging any more or less than that. I know easier said than done, but with time and practice it does get better. Are you currently in therapy for your OCD? I am in ERP (Exposure and response prevention) therapy. ERP is considered the gold standard treatment for OCD. With ERP you learn how to handle negative emotions and anxiety without needing to engage in compulsions. The more you practice ERP, The more you build resilience. It has been a very helpful tool for me with addressing my OCD. If you are not currently in therapy with a trained OCD therapist, please consider reaching out to the NOCD care team for a free 15 minute consultation. I wish you all the best on your recovery journey.
I agree with Lisa and I also struggle with this myself too. Sometimes I don’t realize I’m ruminating or mentally checking because it feels so automatic, but it isn’t. We can’t control if a thought/image/feeling pops into our head, but we can control whether we engage with it or not. As Lisa said, this takes time and practice. You don’t have to be perfect at it for it to work, you just have to be consistent. Be patient with yourself while you struggle. It won’t be like this forever. You aren’t alone 💜
I know that this can feel scary but please reach out for help from a therapist. You are worth it. You can live a life that is happy and one which you enjoy. OCD is one of the most debilitating illnesses in the world. Mental health conditions are real. People do not suffer because they want attention. Please don't accept that lie. You can live a life in recovery. Just know there are so many people who have been where you are at. You are definitely not alone. There is so much hope.
This isnt abnormal for people with ocd, the best thing you can do is recognize you have the thought and do your best to move on. Its hard to do but it will pay off, i experience this sometimes as well and ocd likes to tie massive mental knots in my head until im utterly confused.
so i feel like i need to vent because all of this is just building up, 3 months ago when i had my first intrusive thought that caused an obsession that went on for weeks and then every other week a new intrusive thought would pop up and i’d obsess over that one. and it continues with multiple themes. some even similar to the one i’m dealing with right now but for some reason this one feels so much more real then again all the themes did. i really don’t know how to explain it, frightened if it’s just me. some days i feel completely numb to it like i’m a bad person but if that was so why would i keep fighting it and being in distress over it. it’s breaking my heart. i should know that it’s no coincidence since i’ve been dealing with this thing. whatever it might be ): i really don’t want to give up but i’m just scared. it all feels wrong and i feel numb or sometimes the ugliest stuff pops into my head. also the old themes have tried popping up again. i wonder if this whole thing is just my fault if it’s all just me but the truth is i guess i’ll never know... there’s so much more i could say... but i hope someone can relate to this... is it possible to feel just completely not like yourself like you’re trying so hard to just be the way you are but it’s hard because you have to sit with the fear inside your head... cause tbh there’s no other choice
I’m fairly new to treating my OCD and have felt crazy for most of my life. It didn’t help that no one in my life truly understood OCD and always said I was being dramatic. I very recently (within the past few months) finally got diagnosed with OCD and my whole life started to make sense. However, I recently opened up to someone I really believed I trusted about the intrusive thoughts I have and now feel worse than I ever have before. They essentially called me a psychopath and said they are worried for the people around me. Even though I would and could never hurt anyone. I’ve never felt more alone and broken in my life. I already try very hard to hide my OCD and everything associated with it because no one in my life understands so it’s been easier to deal with it myself than listen to everyone say whatever they have to say about my situation. After what happened today I’m even more inclined to just keep it to myself. I don’t know what I’m expecting from writing this but I figure this is the best place to write what I’m feeling. Going through OCD is hard enough on it’s own. But when people are telling you they think you’re a danger to society and are crazy because of your intrusive thoughts it really hurts. I’m just tired.
..why do I feel so alone? So disgusting and alone with my thoughts. I feel like a monster and I can’t explain to anyone the extent of my anxieties. They are there, and they can listen to me and reassure me but they don’t understand how much they affect me. This is so hard.
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