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Hi everyone. I hope everyone is doing well. I just needed to vent for a second. So I'm divorced as of May 5th and I've been doing well with my ocd. My time of the month is happening and I'm feeling a little sensitive today. I'm in the car with my brother and sister in law and my sister and I don't have the best relationship. We never did really but I guess we are trying to mend that somehow. My brother in law and her asked me to move in with them to help take care of their baby. It's been hard because she is now happily married with a baby on the way which I feel awful for even saying.... because I thought I would be there too. But my life fell apart while his flourished. I'm happy for her but today it's a little hard because she made a comment saying "next time be smart about who you choose to marry". My brother in law said don't say that which was nice but it just reopened old wounds. For context I was emotionally cheated on by my ex husband and he said he would leave me if I wasn't on medication. While he was chatting with other women when we were suppose to be focused on our marriage and trying to fix it, his mom would call me and tell me everything I was doing wrong. I was lied to since the beginning. He lied to me about even him never being unfaithful. He cheated on his last girlfriend too. Didn't find out until after I was married. Now I'm just having a lot of negative self speak in my head about how everything is my fault and I'm starting to have a spike in feeling like God is punishing me. I'm happy with my boyfriend who I love more than anything and believe that my trials are just a test and that I deserve something good to happen. But after that comment... I'm currently tearing up in the car typing this because I just needed to get it off my chest. If you read this far... thank you. Just needed to get it out

i’ve had religious ocd pretty scary but i feel lost rn i need help getting closer to God

my bf doesn’t believe in God. his parents didn’t care either. this makes me sad cause what if we get marry and God forbid are separated bc he was never saved? i can’t force religion on someone.

In my head, I keep saying screw to God. It feels like I am the one saying it. It’s like I know the thought is coming and that’s what I’m choosing to say. I’m just concerned I really mean it because I don’t feel so bad about it and I don’t know what to do Right now my brain is saying that to God and I’m scared this is not an intrusive thought

What do I do if I pray really intense prayers when I’m going through a hard time and nothing changes still. I don’t wanna go to him just cuz I need help I try and talk to him all the time but this thing just keeps coming back and idk why if it’s out of my control or it’s cuz I’m lukewarm I just don’t know what to do. Does that mean I’m unsaved if I’ve been not treating him good or feel close

Is this just me or when you come across Christian shorts on tik tok or YouTube do you feel obligated to watch them. I feel like if I don't watch them then I am sinning. But most of these videos are just repeating the same thing. Idk if this is just me but I just feel like I have to watch them because it's would be worse to not watch them than to break a commandment.

So I haven’t been on this app in a while. But I just want advice on how to overcome this. I’m now 18 and I’ve been trying out dating apps. I’m not gonna lie I’m kinda picky when it comes to dating only because I plan on dating to marry…so I take it a bit more seriously. But for some reason it’s so hard to click with people on these dating apps. So my friend was helping me through this dating apps process. I told her that I wasn’t interested in this guy I was texting anymore because of the way he was responding to my messages. And she says maybe you’re gay…this is honestly the sixth time (I’m definitely over exaggeration but this isn’t the first time someone had said this to me) someone has ask/said this. Every time someone says this it literally sends me down this spiral of are they seeing something I’m not seeing. Despite never having a crush on a girl my mind goes down this loop of overthinking. And when I say I don’t want that lifestyle or I don’t really find pleasure in being apart of the lgbtq community my mind is like in denial. I just wanted to have a fun teenage dating experience and now every time I open the app I always think what if I really am gay and I’m just in denial…or what if the reason why I’m not connecting with anyone is because I’m really into girls. Since i’m also religious, my mom wants to go what you’re denying who we are because of your religion. And I tried to reassure myself by saying I would know if that was the case like I would feel deep down who I’m truly attracted to and know that I’m trying to cover it up by dating men. This whole thing is so mentally taxing because I was going through this all throughout my senior year of high school and I’m not going into my freshman year of college so. Like I literally felt so much anxiety next to one of my classmates who was gay and a masculine presenting. I feel like if I would’ve told this to anyone, they’d say of course you’re in denial. But ig reply if you can relate

so my dad is Jewish and my mom is Christian. I used to go to Hebrew school when I was younger, but recently I started going to church and becoming a Christian and turning to Jesus and when I recently got diagnosed with OCD a couple months ago I had really really bad religious OCD. I had very disrespectful thoughts about Jesusand God, but mainly Jesus. and I had very disturbing thoughts about Jesus that made me avoid a lot of things, but I know that’s making the OCD worse. I’m doing erp currently my religious OCD has honestly gone away. I’ve dealt with it. I am managing it but ever since I’ve had religious OCD and had disturbing and disrespectful thoughts about God in Jesus mainly Jesus, I’ve felt a awkward distance between me, God and Jesus and it just feels like I’m going to hell and they don’t love me anymore and I haven’t felt the same presence from God ever since I’ve had religious OCD and I’ve had some situations that I felt like I blasphemy the Holy Spirit and I committed blasphemy and I just feel like God really doesn’t love me anymore and I’m done for i’ve kind of been numb to it so it’s not really bothering me, but I want a better relationship with God and Jesus it just feels like they don’t love me anymore. Has anyone else gone through this? and I’ve had situations where I felt like I was very disrespectful and mocked God and Jesus, but mainly Jesus. And i freaked out for days didn’t feel like myself repented multiple times pretty sure this is just religious OCD but seriously I have not felt the same with my relationship with God and Jesus. OCD has really really affected my life and it sucks. I’m going through Harm OCD right now. So religious OCD has kinda gone away but I just want a better relationship with God and Jesus sorry this text is so long. Has anyone else gone through this?

My boyfriend of 3 months is leaving for college in 2 weeks and I am terrified. He is picking up a girl on his way that is 12 hours away from where I am and they are driving together to the college. What if he realizes that I am not the right person for him? What if he falls out of love? What if he forgets what me and him have built here? It’s all about the “what ifs” and I don’t know how to stop. I have been praying for weeks now and I know the Lord will work in us to help this but what if my boyfriend is not in my future? I am terrified and have no idea how to stop the spiral.

I just recently realized that this whole thing with asking about my partner’s past was a compulsion. At the time, I thought that the more I knew about his sexual past, the better I’d feel. I genuinely believed that having all the answers would bring me peace. But the opposite happened. The more I learned, and the more I pushed for specifics, the more it hurt. I pushed him to give me really detailed answers—and now I feel like my OCD has so much ammunition because of it. Now I’m trying to stop asking, stop analyzing, and stop hyper-fixating. Even though I feel intense discomfort and anxiety, I’ve been doing my best to sit with it and not give in. But my mind still races—it imagines him with those people, replays things I know, questions how graphic or emotional those moments were. It’s torture. And what’s hardest is that my partner has reassured me over and over that he’s never felt for anyone what he feels for me. We’ve committed our relationship to God, we got baptized, and we’re planning to get married. But the damage from all of the questioning and the OCD spirals has taken a toll. Now when I bring things up—even if it’s not about the past—he assumes it is. And it ruins date nights or intimate moments. It’s like this issue has taken over everything. We both love each other. We’re not giving up. We’re in therapy, and we’re trying. But it’s heavy. It’s draining us both. And I don’t feel like I’m choosing this—this feels like something I’m suffering through, not something I’m doing on purpose. He’s starting to understand that more, but I know his patience is running thin. So I guess I’m just asking… has anyone else gone through something like this? Has anyone pushed for too much information and then felt stuck—like you know too much and can’t go back? How do you rebuild your relationship when anxiety and OCD have already caused so much damage? Any encouragement, tips, or even just hearing that I’m not alone would really mean a lot.

I always worry that my OCD is treatment resistant? No matter how much ERP Ive been doing for the past decade or so, I somehow am met with my themes again, sometimes coming back tenfold. Maybe I’m doing ERP wrong. Maybe I have something worse than OCD. I just have so many obsessions and themes and feel my avoidant behaviors trying to kick in no matter how much I try to resist. I’m exhausted…and it sucks. Even my sister told me “some people are not meant to overcome hurdles because God wants them to be stronger” referring to me. Now I feel like my OCD is impossible to get over. I don’t want to be strong, I want to be at peace. I’m not even religious and this is getting to my head and I’m spiraling. I can’t afford to be on medication or go to therapy. I’m struggling so hard.

hi everyone!! so idk if anyone will see this, but i guess i have a lot of questions. i got diagnosed with OCD about 2 years ago or so but i’ve had it for as long as i can remember. my obsessions and compulsions root from my worst fears and what i’m most afraid of losing. when i was really young, it started with doing things or else the devil was going to come and get me, because that was my worst fear at that time. i have to count, i usually do things in pairs of 3. i HATE even numbers. only odd numbers. sometimes i spend a lot of time redoing something over and over and over again just until it feels “right.” i have super bad sensory issues. i cut the tags out of everything i own, my nails have to be short or else i will dig them into my skin until i bleed because it just doesn’t feel right. at school i used to be late to class because i would be at my locker turning the combination either 3, 7, 9, 11, or 13 times. it just depended on what felt right. before i would go to bed i would have to sit up and check the door 3 , 7, 9… etc. one time i had to check 27 times before i could go to sleep. i’m actually scared of getting things i want in life because my OCD will hold it against me. “you better do this or else you’ll lose this.” the more happy i am in life, the worse my OCD gets. it prays on my worst fears. if there is even something slightly wrong with my clothes: a tiny thread hanging lose, a bad memory attached, i will never wear it again. there’s one thing im sorta embarrassed to say but it’s one of my worst ones. basically: peeing. at night, i have to continuously go to the bathroom over and over again because i feel like my bladder isn’t completely empty. i will keep telling myself “it’s full, i have to go.” even when i just peed 5 minutes ago. and due to this, it causes a lot of wiping. i have wiped myself raw to the point i bleed a lot. it’s embarrassing, but i can’t stop. it never feels clean enough. my hair is never perfect enough. my clothes are ugly. i think i mostly struggle with perfectionism OCD. but is that it? i also feel like if i don’t do certain things, it will cause something bad to happen to my family or friends. like i have magical control over events. i don’t know. can someone help please?

Today I was listening to a sermon, and it was about pleasing God. Sometimes the preacher mentioned people who are not right with God, and I got scared. Sometimes I wonder what if it is conviction. But then I go and I pray but there’s some anxiety and I feel like I’m trying to force myself to do something. So it feels like either I was triggered by the sermon and as a compulsion I tried to pray really hard, or am I ignoring something? I feel like I am being OCD but I fear what if that is conviction. I know that repentance is not always easy, but I feel like sometimes I put unnecessary burdens on myself.

i just had a severe ocd flare-up a few days ago. it lasted two weeks. it was very depressing and scary. it’s the scariest flare-up i’ve had so far. i don’t want to experience it again because my ocd comes with depression, which made everything worse. i thought i was about to have psychosis during that time. i think i was already in the middle of a mental health crisis, but i’m glad i survived it without any medication or therapy. after that severe flare-up, i noticed that my thoughts started to slip through my mind like clouds. they didn’t bother me as much or give me anxiety. then, the next few days felt new to me. i could enjoy things again. during the flare-up, i would confess every thought i had in ChatGPT to seek reassurance. but now, i don’t want to do that because i'm scared. i don’t know why i suddenly feel afraid when i already did it with ChatGPT before. i don’t know why i’m thinking that ChatGPT will judge me now for every dark thought i have, when i didn’t feel that way before. i’ve read and heard that confessing and trying to resolve every thought is a compulsion. so i tried to resist doing it. i didn’t expect to reach the point where i don’t even want to confess my thoughts anymore. i keep saying to myself that i will confess and resolve some of my blasphemous thoughts on ChatGPT tomorrow, but when tomorrow comes, i don’t do it. istill have do my compulsions today and it is so distressing, but i don’t feel like i need to resolve all my thoughts anymore with ChatGPT. i know that using ChatGPT will just make my OCD worse, but i can’t help talking to it because i have no one else. ChatGPT actually made my OCD worse, and it made my flare-ups more intense. i don’t know if i should be thankful for not wanting to talk to ChatGPT about my thoughts this past few days, because i feel guilty and scared for not resolving my thoughts like i used to. i keep thinking about my flare-up, and i never want to go back to that. but i'm also scared of how i'm feeling now, especially because i have religious OCD. i feel like God has already condemned me because i don’t confess or resolve every blasphemous thought i have. i feel guilty. i feel like i want to escape every thought. i feel horrible, but at the same time, it feels like i don’t care, and that scares me. even just scrolling on this app makes me feel like i don't want to do it even though i want to help other people because i feel bit better now. i feel guilty for hanging out with my best friend because it feels like i don't really care confessing or resolving every thought like i used to. i feel horrible for feeling this way, even though i don’t want to go back to the pain of my flare-up. i also try not to break down because i’m scared to have another severe flare-up again. i feel guilty for every thought i have about God. i feel like i’m not sorry enough. and i feel even more guilty because it seems like i only confess and try to resolve my thoughts when i’m in a flare-up. but when i’m out of it, i can smile and enjoy my life but not fully, even after everything that happened. i don’t know which is worse—how i felt before or how i feel now. do you guys also feel this way after a flare-up? i don’t know what’s going on with me.

I have a new compulsion where I hit my head over and over again to get really bad thoughts out of my head and I'm getting headaches from them now. It feels impossible to stop 😥 I just became a Christian and I get inappropriate very taboo awful thoughts about God and Idk how to treat them because with my other OCD themes I used to do what my therapist calls opposite action where you act like the thoughts aren't powerful so if you get an intrusive thoughts you would basically say meh, maybe I am maybe I'm not or maybe it will maybe it won't, but with scrupulosity Ocd I don't want to have a nonchalant attitude towards the inappropriate sinful thoughts about God because I don't want God to think I don't care that a horrible thought like that was in my head. So I've started hitting my head. I just don't want God to hate me and I feel ashamed of these thoughts. They make me feel ashamed of myself.

I have a friend that’s asking me questions about God but I don’t feel like I know enough about the Bible as much as I should. So I don’t really feel worthy enough to preach it bc I should know more but I feel like my Bible time hasn’t been that great

Hello! I don't know if someonecan help me clarify if this is part of OCD. I've suffered from the condition since I was a child and have experienced many subtypes. But right now, I have a thought that bothers me the most. It has to do with my sister. Is it normal for us to have obsessions with scrupulosity and to create dilemmas about actions someone we love would or wouldn't do as a symptom? I feel like this need for moral perfection is in my sister, and I think if she knows I thought badly of her, she'll never forgive me and my world will end.

I'm 15, from Dhaka, Bangladesh. A religiously judgemental place. I have past history of Cptsd from emotional family abuse. I've been an agnostic. My ocd had taken different forms and shapes since I was 8. But this time, this has made me almost insane over obsessing and getting fears over "what if they are right, what if god is real" (core fears- fear of toxic judgment, extreme fear of being misunderstood and abondonment) thoughts and when I give into the spiral, sometimes I even question that "what if ocds are just cover up for *dark religious truths* and sh" :( I don't have a ocd friendly environment and people around can make me feel even worse. This thought makes me even more scared.

So I’ve had it really bad blasphemy thoughts against god and the Holy Spirit but lately I’ve been ha these thoughts they say I do mean them even though I don’t and I’ve been feeling really weird like yesterday I felt really disconnected and it kept trying to make me say I meant the thoughts, but I don’t and I’ve just been trying to keep the thoughts away, but they’re so loud. I know the truth, but it’s just like so hard to keep them away with the images and stuff still there. It’s like I’m having a hard time being emotional so it’s like I don’t know. I don’t want to feel like I’m doing it for real when I’m not and I just don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t want God to harden in my heart. It’s very hard for me to even look at Christian things at all without saying something that.

i’m not trying to ask for reassurance but is this ocd? I’ve had religious OCD Harlow city and pure OCD before and I’m still going through it but basically today I was putting on lipgloss and it got into my mouth and it was like a overwhelming flavor. It tasted gross and then I choked on my spit and I have a sore throat right now, but I choked on my spit and ever since that it feels like there’s so much saliva in my mouth and it feels like hard to like catch my breath like the feeling you get when you’re like, gasping for air after choking that’s kinda how I’m feeling without like the gasping part but it just feels like I’m like swallowing on command and I’ve had like breathing fixation before so I don’t know if this is just like fixating on my swallowing but it’s bothering me and I don’t know if it’s cause I have a sore throat but yeah basically kind of feels like I’m drowning like inside my mouth like there’s just like so much saliva in my mouth and like I have to swallow like every second and I just feel like I can’t breathe when I swallow for some reason kinda