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So I had a good intimate dream about my husband last night (it really gave me feelings of my sexual self before I had ocd) and I woke up and felt really good. But because I felt so good, my ocd attacked the good thoughts by thinking “well what if you replaced him with a cute girl instead?” And then my brain made me think I really liked it and was comfortable with it. And then I would check how I felt when I compared the thought with a girl vs. my husband and the thought then of sex with my husband (or any guy) made me feel anxious and sick, enforcing my thoughts that I’m lesbian now. And I just feel such guilt. My poor husband. It’s not fair to him. And it’s not to me. I just don’t know what to do anymore. How can I be straight when I find the male anatomy disgusting?

I've decided to put my story here in order to help the people feeling miserable and lost. I got ocd about 5 months ago, and it shocked me to my core. I was feeling helpless and scared, and the fight-or-flight i felt during these dark days was destructive. I started doing ERP not so long after I realized that IT was the only way out. After a lot of suffering, anger, sadness and avoidance, despair also, I decided that I would rather die from my fear and doubts than continue walking the path of compulsions and OCD. I am only 19 years old, and have never experienced something as painful or destructive as this condition i am in. I realized after a lot of thinking that I had to go ALL IN. ALL or NOTHING. SHORT TERM PAIN AND LONG TERM GAIN, OR VICE VERSA. Of course, I chose the first. I am currently feeling the most anxiety in my entire life and not doing compulsions. IT truly feels like heroin withdrawal when you start doing the recovery work. IT is like walking on the most unstable ledge there is, and it feels horrible. BUT IT IS ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT, BECAUSE THE ONLY WAY AROUND OCD AND ANXIETY IS STRAIGHT THROUGH IT, BASICALLY GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE YOU WOULD RISK YOUR LIFE IN ORDER TO RECOVER. THAT IS OCD TO ME. A signal from your brain that I've been processing """negative"""" emotions the wrong way, and been lacking acceptance. That is how I Got to understand my disorder. Here is a list of a few things I would've never accomplished if it weren't for OCD: 1. I would have NEVER started meditating and aiming to be mindful. 2. I would have NEVER become humble. 3. Never would I hit the gym and obtain the good physique I now have. 4. Psychology and the human brain would've never been interesting to me, if I haven't experienced excruciating mental pain myself. 5. Got to finally know myself, the person I've been neglecting my whole life. Therefore, I guarantee to you, that IT is NEVER TOO LATE to start doing recovery work (ERP, ACT and Mindfulness including physical fitness sports the gym...) No matter what, know that you are not alone and that IT will be the hardest thing you have ever done, but IT is DEFINITELY WORTH IT.

The past few days, I have been dealing with my OCD. My poison Self-Harm OCD. More specifically suicide. Now, I tell some people this, and they immediately get worried (Which is understandable), but what I am going through is the fear of doing the act. I don't want to die. A few days ago, I had allergies, and I thought I had the coronavirus. I starting getting nervous because people were dying from it. I can say now that I want to live, but these thoughts are SO repetitive and uncontrollable. Alongside with it, I have anxiety. Heart pounding anxiety (sometimes it goes to the extreme of panic attacks). I am not asking necessarily for advice, but I want you to know if you deal with HOCD, you are not alone. And if you don't know anything about this, well, you do now. ?

Religious OCD How do I know If I am saved?

Does anyone else feel shaky and spacey when they’re having a bad ocd day. I feel like I’m barely in my body. I keep having to manually refocus and resume what I’m doing.

I have health anxiety and this pandemic has really triggered me - I was doing so well recently but today I could feel my physical symptoms creeping back (tight throat, sweats, tight chest) that happen after I eat or drink something (because I worry that I’ve given myself an illness). I’m not sure what to do because I am finding it hard to avoid the triggers (the news atm) because it’s everywhere!!! And I’m a Student Teacher so I’m still getting constant updates from my uni/school/course mates on the situation and it’s making my anxiety almost unbearable right now. Any tips would be well received!!

Does anyone else have skin-picking disorder? I heard that it was sometimes common with people with OCD and I’ve had this issue from childhood so I just wanted to know how common this was

How do people continue to have intimacy and pleasure with Pure O (with themes that centre around sexual intrusive thoughts)? I haven’t had sex in a very long time but I obviously want to.... I’m struggling to figure out how to approach intimacy again. I can’t even pleasure myself without my OCD acting up. Please share some tips and stories!

These are the tasks on one of my exposure hierarchies that I created on the NOCD app. If you need help thinking of tasks for a hierarchy, this is the place to brainstorm. Let us know a fear of yours, and as a community we will work together to thi k of some options for you. We may be stuck at home, but we can still make today productive

Saw an nhs therapist yesterday she told me she doesn’t think I have ocd but not disputing I might have thoughts and feelings related to it’s themes she thinks I have GAD I’m now struggling even more

Ocd makes me worry that the guys I’m attracted to are too feminine and I’m trying to ignore it but it isn’t working.

Does anyone have cheating ocd? Strategies to cope?

How does ERP work for someone who has Pure O?

Hi guys. My state is pretty much locked down due to the corona virus stuff. My daughter’s school is canceled and it’s just the two of us stuck at home. But I’m worried. I’m so worried that we could have it already and not know it. I’m trying so hard not to be freaked out but I am.

POETRY SLAM!!! Blue rain posted a pretty raw poem about his experience of depression and frustration, and it literally inspired me to write one about my OCD. It actually felt very cathartic to do and I feel like it captures a lot of what it's like for me, so I think I'm going to bring it to my therapist so she can understand me better, maybe even some friends, and maybe it also can be relatable to others and help them to feel a bit less like they're going through it alone. I'd love it if anyone else wants to contribute a poem or even a quick few lines, creative expression is pretty good for mental health and I know your poems could be very comforting for other people here, especially ones about specific themes or struggles that might feel quite isolating. Here's mine! As I want you to know Why I've said what I said, You can come on a journey inside of my head. A tyrannical place Where my thoughts try to smother, If one fear is gone then I'm getting another. I smiled at this girl, So I have to be gay- And that isn't quite right but I don't get a say. Are they gonna get sick? Is that unrealistic? The funeral thoughts just won't go, it's sadistic. I can't keep them safe So I'm counting my steps And it's spiraling down into terrible depths. Did I say something wrong? Did I cause some offense? I want to solve it but it doesn't make sense. When I've made a mistake It seems larger than life, My compassionless memory twists in the knife. Have I hurt someone badly, Was that my intent? Was I trying to harm them or misrepresent? I avoid vulnerability, Being seen hurts And I'll never feel safe while expecting the worst. Yet to get some control When my confidence falters, I panic and lay self esteem on the altar. The guilt of it says I'm corrupt to the core. Could it be that I am?- I don't know any more. Am I going to snap, Or become what I fear? Being judged might be better than suffering here. But the way to break free, Or so I've been taught, Is resisting the urge to keep fighting the thoughts And accepting the maybe That all of it's true, That I'm evil and everyone's doomed- even you. So I'll stay on the wagon, I'll put myself first. I could try to believe I can cope with the worst. And I sometimes succeed, Pain can feel like a dream. But my peace only lasts up until the next theme.

I live in the UK and there are a lot of people who have Coronavirus now. Every hospital has an ill person in. My boyfriends mum is a high band nurse in a hospital and she said it will get worse and apparently 80% of the population will catch it. I have asthma. I am wondering if I am likely to die from it if I have asthma? I don’t want to die, I’m only 21. Apparently people with asthma are at higher risk, does that mean I’m more likely to die?

Feelings check in: tell us how you're feeling using a song lyric Mine right now is "I wish you could see me now, I wish I could show you how, I'm not who I was" from a Brandon Heath song. It's a mix of pride in myself for growing, but regret that someone I care about isn't here to see it

Being stuck at home due to coronavirus has made my ruminating and intrusive thoughts significantly worse. Anyone else dealing with this and have tips? It’s also hard that I don’t have therapy to look forward to for help. I struggle with relationship OCD and it’s so hard especially since my partner is stuck at home in a different state and I have a lot of time at home to just think:(

CHRISTIAN PEOPLE/RELIGIOUS AND CONTAMINATION OCD HELP ME!!!!! I think I am losing my mind right now. I was not caring about coronavirus until today, now on Brazil things are gettings crazy as well and I dont know how to cope now. My mother as well started to talk its sign of the end of days and coming of Jesus. Thing is I am obsessing with this, I want to be saved, I want to go to heaven, I believe in Jesus as my own savior, but I am losing my mind. I am also doubting my salvation. Please someone tell me what I need to do to be saved, Ive regreted and repented for my sins, I want to feel happy again. I also super worried about this damm virus and about my family, I really dont know what to do ????

Just put my clothes in the dryer and my mind said "You need to put extra cups of laundry detergent in the dryer because it'd make you uncomfortable. Do it as an exposure." I tried to tell myself that I didn't need to do that, that I'm allowed to wash my clothes normally, but now I can't stop thinking about what if I followed through with my initial, intrusive thought. This is awful. What would ERP say to do?