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How do I get rid of bad habits. I often bite my gums and it’s painful but I can’t stop. This usually occurs when I’m stressed and have a lot of intrusive thoughts.

Do you also find "proofs" everytime you try to remember your past? I had hocd for the first time when i was 9 years old because I watched a movie and it triggered me, but then it went away but sometimes while I was a teenager I got intrusive thoughts and things like that, I was scared everytime I found a woman beautiful, I was scared to look my friend naked because I was scared to discover that I liked their body or for example when my friend gave me a makeover I felt anxious and weird because they were too close and I was scared... I always had these thoughts, but they weren't so intense! Now I'm scared it means I was questioning myself, that I was just in denial, but I crearly remember that I had HOCD when I was a child. But also why I was so scared if it wasn't true?

Has anyone here ever had an OCD about closing your eyes and noticing that it’s black and not be able to unnotice it? I never had ocd I was aware of until 4.5 months ago when I had a baby. It all stemmed from postpartum anxiety and then sleep deprivation which turned into thinking I’d never sleep normal again on my own. The ocd has been so bad I convinced myself I can’t rest, can’t nap- one day I started to notice it was black and I felt wide awake in my mind and from then on I’ve been noticing it. It’s extremely hard to do ERP for this since we close our eyes ALL day. I feel like I’m stuck with this forever :( I also developed a somatic ocd about noticing myself falling asleep- my breathing, sensation of falling into sleep, forcing it…etc

I just had my first apt with my therapist. This came on very suddenly, almost overnight, for me and it’s causing me so much distress. I have been reading and I know that the brain sends thoughts the more you try to resist them. But I’m scared. I’m 46 and I never knew I had OCD tendencies and this literally happened overnight and now the harm thoughts are constant, all day, every day, and I feel like I’m going crazy. My life has been turned upside down. Does anyone else have the harm thoughts that are constant and involve many things/people?

my head is literally creating all of my issues out of sex because obviously orientation is based off of sex. However, I’ve always chosen my partners based off of connection and comfort and Im attracted to men. I’ve realistically never looked at anyone and was like “yea I’d do it with them” it’s usually more based off of personality. Now with all of these issues in my head it’s telling me I’m sexually attracted to women only and that I could do it with literally any girl and every time a pretty girl sits near me the anxiety kicks in and it’s like “oh you could do all of this with her” etc etc. and IDK HOW TO ACT CALM ITS SO AWKWARD AND NERVE WRACKING because I also don’t think about sex THAT OFTEN but my mind has been porn nonstop. Then my mind was telling me “I’ve never been sexually attracted to men cuz they’re gross etc” also since sexual images are replaying In my head 24/7 I’m so desensitized to it all. And the false feelings and attractions make this soooo much worst. I know I just posted but I wanted to kind of share this issue because my theme went from very common “oh you think she’s pretty” to full fledge you’d have sex with her and her and her. It’s the scariest thing cuz it feels real it feels like I want it. It’s like my heart won’t stop pounding and i want to cry every second. It’s making it harder and harder to go out in public when every female who walks by becomes a sexual target I can’ttttt this is so overwhelming. I just want a happy relationship with a guy but it’s starting to feel like that’s just a far dream and it can’t happen. It also feels like this is just some realization stuff but I’m like ugh no 💀it’s all so convincing my head has convinced me that this is all true but the only reason why I can’t seem to accept it is cuz I just want a man as my partner. It’s as if my body wants a girl and my soul wants a boy I can’t explain it

a lot of the time i feel like i don’t have OCD because the way i act is a bit strange . just wanted to share this here to see if i’m not the only one who thinks like this, but i have a fixation over certain numbers and dates in the calendar, eg 31st december, 1st january, (mainly the first of each month, especially when it starts on a monday, the better it is) and i will plan out the “perfect” life i will have starting from that day onwards. before that day eg 1st june, i will be lazy, unproductive, u get the idea. i will still act in certain compulsions such as doing acts in the order of 3, or re-saying texts , being overwhelmed objects in my room being unorganised , and more.. but it intensifies once it’s the day of the perfect routine so i will wake up on the 1st of june, i will wake up at exactly 8:00 (if i wake up before 8 then my routine is ruined— i’ll get to that soon) say my religious sayings, go to the toilet, say another religious saying (i say a lot of religious things during these perfect routines), wash my hands in 3, (it’s my safe number) from left to right for 10 seconds, and then i’ll brush my teeth for around 3 mins. during those 3 minutes i will get random thoughts like a song in my head or just something random but not necessarily intrusive. i will then feel overwhelmed as i have a desire to be in control of my own thoughts, dictating them. “it’s an unnecessary thought, why am i thinking that. it’s not perfect or idyllic”. and i will try to forget about it, and move on but the feeling of anxiety is still there and intensifies as more and more things don’t go my way. i will avoid going to certain things that will trigger the perfect routine, such as skipping class because my social anxiety will make my actions unpredictable and imperfect according to my routine. once i start to get extremely overwhelmed at how imperfect everything has gone, i will give up and resort to my imperfect life. becoming lazy unproductive and extremely wasteful, until the next opportunity to have a perfect day rises (e.g 1st july) a few months ago i was able to withhold these perfect routines for a few hours, but now it’s not possible. yesterday i was going to have a perfect routine as it was the first of june, but i woke up at 7:00, and breathed “incorrectly”, therefore my day was ruined before it had properly started. when my day is ruined i will be extremely unproductive and just nasty honestly.. i don’t know how to word it. wasting my life because of this weird mindset. i know this is long but i just really needed to release this. it’s so overwhelming and isolating. i feel like i don’t have OCD because once my day isn’t perfect anymore, i resort to a non perfect life for about a week or even a month. living like a pile of human waste. it’s just.. confusing. and sad in a way i basically want to live like somebody that i’m not. i can be productive and not be obsessed with the idea of perfection and overwhelming myself. but it’s just not possible for me. no matter how many times i’ve tried. i’m either perfect or the complete opposite. i can’t be in the middle or try anything anymore. i become extremely self critical and my possible OCD intensifies even more during these perfect routines.

I have ejaculated to the same gender once and it was not great. That was 6 months ago and now it feels even stronger and it makes me think that i am gay and it scares me so much. Back then i truthfully believed that i am straight but my mind kept saying the oposite, but now, it makes me think that i actually enjoy being gay but in reality, i hate it. I sometimes even try truly accepting that i'm gay but then regret it afterwards because it doesnt make me happy at all so maybe i aint gay or maybe this and that. Have ya'll done the same thing as well?

I have pushed my friends away and they absolutely won’t talk to me anymore even my best friend because I was hurting I reflected that pain and took it out on them and now I feel so incredibly guilty. Unfortunately I work with them so it’s much harder because I have to see them every day but within the next few weeks I’m going to try and find something else because I feel like I should stay away. Im just really beating myself up today. I have my flaws and I make mistakes as everyone does but I feel like I can’t get back up this time. Maybe hate is a strong word but I don’t think they want anything to do with me anymore and it’s all my fault. I even tried talking to one of them and they snapped at me. So I’m stuck at work feeling awful and I can’t leave

ughhh every time i see a really nice looking little boy by anxiety goes mad and i feel like i’m attracted to them i’ve had this for 2 years now i am actually fed up when will this all stop😞 i went out last night and it ruined my whole night as my brain was going ‘your a p3do’ all night in my head and makes me think it isn’t eve ocd anymore and i am just a p and i really can’t cope anymore, i know about false attraction and all this but when will there be a day when i stop having these fake attractions or whatever to children? i don’t even get sexual thoughts or anything anymore it’s literally just me feeling like i’m attracted to some children😞😞 i want my old life and self back:((

Hi. This isn't me asking for reassurance, I don't have obsessions that are about me being abused and whatnot, I'm just looking for a second opinion because for some reason the friendship between me and my friend doesn't seem to be working ever. I have a friend I've known for a couple years, and in the past 1/2 years we've both been dealing with really bad mental health, I think I developed ocd, and they think they have a personality disorder. In Jan 2021, after we both had a terrible flare up of our suspected disorders, they texted that they felt so alone and uncared for in our friendship group, and that no one cares. Arguably I was ruminating for 8/9 hours a day, and payed little attention to them the first few weeks they were displaying bad mental health. I started to text them quite worried, maybe once a day for a couple days? Then they sent me the paragraph. We made up, but that theme of them thinking no on cares, or feels unloved keeps happening and I feel like I'm a terrible friend. I have bad anxiety, and obsessions about being "self centered" around them, or ablelist, or immortal etc. My anxiety has kinda led to me neglecting them? I don't text them often, and only really speak to them in real life; I check up infrequently; and sometimes they sit down at lunch and don't speak while the rest of the group do, and I don't talk to them when they do that, I just freeze and physically can't. Because I have nothing to talk about? It'll be boring, or they'll just snap at me, or they're doing it because they're mad at me, or they won't reply. I feel like it won't help, and they've continuously said they feel uncared for, and we've talked about it, but it keeps happening because of my anxiety. They feel like everything they do is wrong, and I feel guilty. They liked this post that talks about "breadcruming"? About three years ago, at the beginning of our friendship, they "bullied" me for about a year. It was basically non-stop teasing about whatever joke I made about myself, and my supposed gayness, or literally anything. Apparently it was them taking out their own problems onto me. They half forced me to come out, and gave me crappy self esteem issues that led me to self-harm. I think a part of our problem, is they keep reminding me of what they used to do. There always seems to be little issues why are there petty arguments constantly? I confronted them about a thing they purposely say to piss me off, and they ignored it. They go from two extremes, and I understand that they can't take confrontation. But because they don't respond, I bottle it up and snap. I said, "well maybe I'm always mad at you I just don't say it." Which is extremely triggering for them and I regret it so much. They blocked me twice, for a few days and then a week, and don't speak to me at school. I can't deal with blocking, my anxiety is horrible, we're in the middle of doing our gsces, my OCD is bad, so I messaged them on this other app basically telling them to talk to me cause I can't handle it. They explained I make them feel high maintenance, once they said something out of the blue that was overwhelming to deal with right before a math test, and I was too caught up on that that I forgot to text them to check up on the about it? That was awful to do, and I'm glad they mentioned it to me. I kept telling them not to trauma dump, and didn't talk to them about that they had trauma dumped about? I do care about them, and I meant it in no horrible way, and I'll stop. A few years ago, after they guilttripped me into telling them my crush, they literally told my crush and this other girl about it. Whom told apparently her whole friendship group. One girl slipped, and everyone kept it a secret about which one of my two friends it was that slipped. I never figured it out, cause they lied to me. They told me a year ago that my actual crush knowed, so I've been having to deal with the second wave of anxiety with being around her. I'm a lesbian, and I feel like I'm a fucking predator because of it? Anyway the point was they're upset at me for making them feel guilty, they argued that it happened when we were young, and I did things to upset them yet they don't mention it. It just feels like I am always the problem, how did I become the problem in this situation? I don't even mention it a lot, I don't think?? And now I can't mention any of the behaviours they're doing that upset me, since I'm bringing up the past, and I end up being the dick for snapping. I did mention it, so I stop snapping and upsetting them, and they didn't reply to the text. At the end of the long text they sent, they said they didn't want to say this and they don't want to get their feelings hurt by me saying, "they did worse," or "that didnt happen," and that. I felt weirdly suffocated and I couldn't respond in a way that that wasn't sorry. I don't know if this is true or not? But everyone else is always the asshole, it's never them?? Are they manipulative, even accidentally?? Or is everyone actually an asshole. Am I an asshole in making them feel uncared for? Can someone please respond or talk in DMS if that's a thing on this app, I really need a second opinion.

Anyone else scared of developing schizophrenia or DID? Hoping I’m not alone.

I have HOCD but I feel like I’m not attracted to anyone anymore and it scares me into thinking I’ll never find men attractive again (I’m a heterosexual female). It feels like no man will ever find me attractive again either. I also am terrified that everyone else thinks I’m gay because I don’t fit the typical straight stereotypes. I wear fun earrings and bright colors all the time and it makes me feel like everyone thinks I’m gay. I’ve been teased for being gay, and I know that I’m straight, but it just scares me that I’ll never be able to be myself because of the stereotype. Does anyone else get either of these feelings?

I just bought a sandwich from a place I’ve been to many times and this time there was only one young guy at the shop making it. He seemed very nice, but for some reason I’m worried he drugged or poisoned my food because no one was around. I continuously have this as one of my main OCD fears, that my food or drinks will be drugged or poisoned and I will lose control and go into psychosis. Does anyone have similar fears? Any advice about how to handle these fears? I don’t want to keep avoiding food and throwing it out because of these fears.

Hello I am on here looking for some help, when I was around 14 my ocd started I had pure ocd symptoms as a child but The panic wasn’t as intense but I never knew it ocd, I had smoked for the first time at 14 & I felt trapped for a good year in this loop of constant existential thoughts not feeling real what is life all that good stuff lol well it had faded but still lingered on I didn’t have a full on panic attack again for about 5 years I would still get the feelings of panic attacks if I was doing something I was scared of but never full intensity like before I am now 20 about to be 21 & at 19 I had my first blown out panic attack again after some years this time the theme was about harm among a few others but this was the main one after I searched online night & day I soon found out it was ocd, I struggled with it for about a year it no longer scared me I would still get the thoughts but they weren’t as intense or sticky anymore, now hearing about the school shooting in Texas I was very upset about it, i was watching videos & kept doing research but then I came across another school shooting and read alittle about the boy & they had said he was very interested in mass shootings & the first thought was Omg I’ve been looking at them all day what if I’m interested in this & want to commit this crime then I started looking up more & Then I looked up one of the shooters mental illnesses & I seen ocd listed as one of the illnesses, it said he was sensitive to light & sounds & was a very anxious person which I am as well then Looked up once again are ocd people dangerous most said no but I seen one that said it can turn into psychosis if it’s severe & not treated now I’m in a mess of emotions believing that ocd may not be my only mental issue & that I could be capable of committing these horrible crimes as well I know looking up is so bad 😣

Mature topic and Unpopular take: I dislike my boyfriend watching porn. It makes me feel insecure and pushes me to think that he will cheat on me. Overall, I do not like it. I have expressed this, and it led into a whole thing where I had to end up asking "Would you choose to give this up or me?" And his timing to answer pissed me off and said "of course you." Today, after a long time from previous convo, I asked again and he goes "Not really" which he clarified as somewhat a little. I don't like it. Currently I feel like I'm not upset, but I am. Which Is making me overthink in itself. Yes I struggle with self esteem, and yes I don't like that my partner does it and yes I understand different couples view it differently. But it's making me overthink on my relationship particularly. I thought the previous time that the reason it took him so long to answer was because he's probably done it so long and it's something that makes him feel good, and we all know how hard it is to come out of habit and normality Especially if it's something that results in pleasure. However, I personally find that it's so different when you, say, read eroticism versus view actual people. Like, that is genuinely someone's body and they are literally having sex and you are watching two live people do it. It makes me feel odd and annoyed. Am I being ridiculous? And how should I go about it? I feel stupid for wanting it to go my way and have him stop. Ultimately I want him to be happy too, but this is just too uncomfortable for me and I don't think it's something that shouldn't be easily given up.

So I don’t know if this will make any sense or not but if you know or relate let me know because I feel like I’m going insane. Is it possible that a real even can get twisted with another memory or whatever and come together to make you think something happened a certain way but there’s a possibility that it didn’t happen that way? Like two memories morphed together? It’s so hard to explain but I’m struggled with a real event and I had a random thought the other night about this real event and I had an intrusive image that made it so much worse and it feel so real as if it happened the way my mind is saying how it happened but I don’t remember for sure because it happened years ago but I feel an incredible amount of guilt and anxiety because what if it really did happen that way? I know I can’t know for sure but I wish I did. My past mistakes haunt me every single day but I don’t know if my mind is twisting this particular one or not. I can explain further if need be but I also feel the urge to confess to my mom but I don’t even know if it’s real event or real event twisted with a fabricated false memory. All I know is it’s bothering me so much and has for a few days and I’ve been trying to just let it be but it’s so hard to when it’s in the back of my mind constantly 💔

Have you been to a psychiatrist before and feel like they're not helping you at all? I've been going to see a psychiatrist for the last month and all it has done is drained my money. I'm literally struggling to get out of bed in the morning. I'm going through depression and intrusive thoughts at the same time and I don't know how to deal with it. I've gone through intrusive thoughts previously in 2013 but didn't have the Level of depression as I do now. My psychiatrist is like just keep yourself busy and create a schedule ( I'm Starting a new job Next week) , I literally want to keep busy but I'm so mentally drained and my mood keeps swinging it's hard to just keeping busy and maintaing a schedule when all I want to do is sleep. Then on top of that he's like what's worse the thoughts or depression. I'm like they're both really bad and he's like pick one, at the time the depression felt worse so I said that and he's like ohh you have to do Action then the motivation comes. But then last night the thoughts were worse. The thoughts don't feel as bad as 2013 but there still there and because I feel so down and out I have trouble dealing with the thoughts. But he's like ohh we can do this natural without assistance.... I'm like dude I'm going to run out of money if I can't keep a job down because of this junk going on in my head at the moment, I don't have to go back to 100% but when I literally can't function I need help ( I've been like this for 4 months)

I can't anymore. I feel like life's all about pain. Ecery though there are happy moments, but when sadness take over them i just can't. It's not getting any easier. I'm sick of being yhis way and crying every single day. I told my family that i feel anxious so i want to go to s therapist. I didn't tell them about ocd. Even over this small thing my mum keeps rechecking on me. I'm not liking it. It's keeping me from telling them that i really want to go. My mum keeps asking if i want to go but they won't take me to see therapist. I don't want to live like this. Feelsike I'm not at all living my own life. I don't want to live

There’s a coworker of mine who I know is queer and for some reason I thought to myself, yeah she’s pretty cool, and now I’m CONVINCED I have a crush. Like it honestly feels like the crushes I would have as a kid, but I can’t tell if that’s just because I have anxiety about my sexuality or if I really do have a crush? Idk but I feel like when I calm down I’ll go back to like normal but it feels so weird. Like maybe I really do have a crush? Ughhhhhh.

Ever since I’ve started struggling with SOCD I feel like I’ve lost myself. Like all I feel is a heavy chest and anxiety every single day. I’m 14 years old and I’m like actually panicking. I feel like all my attraction towards guys has been stripped away from me and like I’ve lost who I used to be. I used to be so in love and have crushed & be so happy, but now it just feels like I can’t love anyone or be in love or have a romantic feelings. I started worrying that o was aromantic and have just being having anxiety over that now. So on top of worrying that I’m bi or lesbian or whatever I’m now worrying that I’m aromatic. I took a test to try and reassure myself and it said I was demisexual??!! I don’t think anyone understands how stressed I am like I want to fall in love, be in a relationship, have a boyfriend, get married, etc. What if I’m actually a romantic and am just in deep denial bc I don’t want to be lgbtq? I’m so comfortable in being strAight I’m just terrified I’m in deep denial. It sounds like I am and I just am so scared like all signs point to me being this but how can this be true. It’s not me and it only started after my ocd began. someone please tell me what this sounds like? ik reassurance is bad but is this denial? I want to die I literally just want to love again what is going on. I read comments on a tik tok and ppl who were a romantic were commenting and k just started panicking. Some please.