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Was sitting on the bed and worried about groinals and had this intrusive thought did i scoot my butt twice. I remember saying no and shaking my head. Ocd is wild man

Had to dress my daughter and we were talking about animals. I worry because i had dressed her i felt i was leaning closer to her than id lean back than felt lean forward. Ocd said i was lesning to do something inappropriate but i know its ocd. And leaning back and forth or getting close or not i know ocd will make me feel like i did something wrong and can cause involuntary actions. I was just tryna help my child put their shirt on

Any tips for insomnia,nightmares,waking up to panic attacks It’s been the worst I’ve tryed almost everything to go to sleep I feel magnesium,herbal teas ,mediation, melatonin, different cannabinoid,quit drinking caffeine,zzzquill/benadryl,smoking lavender,essential oils , better neuropathy meds, even got a big dog to sleep with me to feel safe! Nothing works, I can’t get a good nights rest I don’t know what to do let me know if you have any suggestions

do you guys also have suddenly intrusive questions about horrifying things that should never be questioned at all? I was seating in the toilet seat and heard a voice say "but why is [ ] wrong?" and I was suddenly taken aback and felt anxious, I tried to give answers, making a list, but they weren't enough to satisfy and disprove that horrible question. I was like "it's that all?", I was trying to give solid answers, but then my voice was like "and so? It's that the only thing that makes it wrong?" and I was scared of it. There should be a definite undeniable answer that kills all the arguments that go in favour of that question, that nullify the logic of the animal, of the monster. Like I have convincing arguments that go against my values, that I dislike and I find wrong but that yet "sound" logical, convincing, like "what abt it? if x wants it, then why would it make it wrong a part from being it immoral?" and that disturbed me a lot. I feel like what I have as answers against it isn't enough, probably because it has always been a dogma for me, and I want it to be enough, I want to be confident abt my values to the point that they are undeniable, undoubtable. For me that crime is the worst thing ever in the world, worse than murder, but I feel like my reasons behind it are not certain or solid enough, I'm not confident abt it, it just sickens me, "but why? Is it because society told you? so if wasn't for that maybe you would have been okay with it?" I just know that I cannot tolerate it at all in my core, I know it makes me feel suicidal. Is it because I'm wired that way? What I'm afraid is also that this is simply a barrier that I self-imposed, and that if I remove it, something horrible is hiding beneath. And I think I've already experienced it, I just don't want it to be true with all my life, so I'm hoping it was all OCD. I feel like I'm in denial.

My Pocd thoughts can be about like if im moving part of my body to some thoughts it’s like hard to explain but for example like if I’m having intrusive thought that in the thought I’m moving my hand so in real life I have the urge to move my hand (like I did with the thought) to see how I felt by doing it and get rid of the thought (sometimes I’m doing it and I feel terrible of course ). And it’s was just an example (there are some worse then actually moving my hand and I’m ashamed to say that). That is why my Pocd started to get severe and I started to believe I don’t actually have it because I haven’t heard anyone that have similar thoughts. Like I have intrusive thought and my mind says to act like I acted on the thought in my head to check how I feel by it and get rid of it (like with moving my hand for example, and this is not even the hardest) . And I feel because no one had this kind of thoughts so I’m faking my ocd. I told that to my therapist and she told me that everyone have different ocd and if someone doesn’t have the same thoughts/compulsions that I have doesn’t mean I don’t have ocd. But I do feel like it because I never heard someone have this kind of pocd. I have Pocd for like 7 months and in the last 3 months this kinda thoughts / compulsion started (something triggered them) and I feel like it made my Pocd way worse and made me believe I’m faking it, I hope I don’t

My intrusive thoughts flood in generally every morning around 4-5 am, and I find myself ruminating until I’ve made it to work. It’s like clockwork. I realize it could be cortisol related, but for the last 8 months, it has set the tone for my day. I deal with a variety of themes, and they ultimately leave me feeling nauseous and trapped forever. Curious if anyone else experiences this in the mornings and if something has worked to derail those thoughts first thing in the AM. Sleeping in isn’t an option… 😞

Hi everyone. I have been struggling with OCD for over 10 years and I am a college athlete. My OCD is majorly interfering with my ability to perform my best in my sport and it’s breaking my heart. I really need help. I am not medicated and I do go to therapy. I have horrible mental blocks that have been very difficult to get through. Every day feels like I’m managing my kind all day long. Any tips?

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years today because my rocd got so bad and overwhelming i pretty much convinced myself these past three years of my life i wasn’t “actually in love with him” and that I’ve been “faking” it. He means everything to me and i never actually thought i would break up with him but the thoughts were starting to become so painful i started to ruminate about “if im having these thoughts that means i don’t belong with him” and “we arnwt meant to be.”It’s gotten so bad that when i hear a sad song or break up song I’ve convinced myself that since i heard it that means that i need to break up with him. I’ve never felt such intense feelings our whole 3 years of dating. Now that i actually broke up with him my rocd is telling me that i need to get back with him and i really genuinely do but then i feel like ill always feel these doubts and scary thoughts and that it willl be a cycle of breaking up and getting back together. I feel like i just lost the love of my life. I feel like i let my rocd get the best of me and win. Now we aren’t together and i feel broken.

I’m worried that my OCD is going to plague me for the rest of my life. I have these awful flair ups that sometimes last months at a time. It makes me filled with anxiety and guilt. It’s nearly impossible to be myself during these times even for only a little bit. With that said I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 7 years. I’m about to graduate college in the spring and I was considering proposing after that but I just don’t want to put her through the pain that comes along with being with me for the rest of her life. I feel that I should’ve broken up with her long ago so that she wouldn’t have to suffer from my depression and anxiety that comes with OCD. I truly care about her happiness more than anything else and I would be 100x happier seeing her with another guy that treats her right and doesn’t suffer from OCD. I don’t want her to suffer because of me suffering. I just want her to live the best life she can live and I don’t want her to live a lesser life being with me. It would hurt us both in the long run being together and knowing that she could be living a lesser life with me because of my OCD. I just want her to live the best life that she can and I don’t feel it’s with me because I know she is brought down and feels bad when I feel bad. She’s truly the best person I’ve ever met. She’s kind, caring, and outright genuine. I don’t think she deserves to be with me and I know I don’t deserve her. I just want her to live her best life and I don’t feel that it’s with me. Any advice you can give is appreciated.

does anyone else doubt everything in moments when people who aren’t educated on ocd say they’re “so ocd” because they like to be clean? not too long ago i was at my sisters and i told her abt my ocd (just that im diagnosed) and she said she gets it she’s so ocd too like her picture has to be a certain way or it’ll annoy her otherwise and then when she asked me what i struggle with ocd wise, i told her it was intrusive thoughts like i’ll get a thought if i don’t do this someone will die type of stuff and she looked at me confused. when she said she was so ocd at first i was irritated but now i feel like what if she’s actually got it? like who am i to judge? i just feel so terrible that i could judge so quickly. it makes me question if what im struggling with is actually ocd because there’s some p’s out there who genuinely feel bad and bc mines not what is typically shown, it makes me worry it’s not sorry im rambling

Just needed to tell someone about this because I have no one tell it to. I've been keeping this to myself for so much time now. Everyday when I wake up and my mind gets fully concisous I start thinking and keeping tracks of whatever stuff I thought was important. I don't intentional think about an important thought but somehow random thoughts like having conversation with someone, watching TV, etc. leads to chain of thought which turns out to be something important. Something that would have impact on my life. No matter what I do somehow random thoughts in my mind will lead to a very important thought. So considering the importance of such thoughts I start making list as the day passes because I fear that I might forget such important thoughs. The list usually goes from 10 to 30 thoughts per day. Before going to bed, I try remembering all these thoughts. Everyday there's a new list of thoughts and I start saving such lists of thoughts in my mind for every passing day including those days which have passed. You can imagine how many thoughts they become with each passing day. When brain gets so full that it can not save such list of thoughts I get them jotted down in my phone. My mind feel relaxed but then from the next day the lists starts again then my mind reaches its limit again. I jot them down and the cycle keeps going on. Because of this I've stopped thinking in a normal way. I fear doing anything like even watching TV or gaming because I fear it will eventually lead to a new important thought being added to the list. I try doing nothing. I even fear using phone because of this. I try isolating myself. I sometimes feel that because this cycle of saving list of thoughts I'm not actually taking action on any of those very thoughts. I stay lost most of the time. My parents think I have my own some sort of a world in which I live. I know this is not normal but I have no choice but to do it again n' again. Other than this, I suffer from severe somatic ocd and moderate cleaning ocd. Cleaning ocd was severe but ever since thinking ocd got hyped up it became moderate.

I am honestly desperate to try anything, I tried prozac and it works but it makes me gain weight which makes my body image issues even worse, so I need help. Has anyone tried it?

My OCD wants to keep switching “themes” on me, but once again it always concerns my mom or family. This time it’s sexual-related. The one I experience the most is the harm-related thoughts towards her, thinking I want to hurt her or thinking she abused me in the past (she did not) so that’s why I have these thoughts. My mind is always trying to see if there are deeper meanings to these thoughts and how I really feel. Yesterday my thoughts started going towards - “what if I’m attracted to my mom?” I was reading a book and it was a romantic scene and an image of my mom popped into my head. I tried to just dismiss it since I know we can’t control what comes into our heads, but I of course ruminated about it more and it has become a full-blown obsession. I have started wondering if I really am attracted to her or not, do I want to be in a relationship with her, am I just denying my feelings, etc. It sounds so disgusting and disturbing to share these things, but it’s difficult to disengage with this kind of thinking. Like it’s too disturbing to just let it go. Which leads to other worries like what if I can never be in a real relationship because I will just keep having these thoughts, what if this is true and how will I live with myself, what if my mom sexually abused me as a kid and that’s why I’m having these thoughts, etc. I know I’m going down the rabbit hole, but I just keep coming up with more and more “reasons.” Trying to go about my day and not pay them any attention, but it has been difficult to focus on anything else. Which then makes me wonder if I’m actually just fantasizing now and not actually obsessing.

Can someone help me with this? I’m trying to deal with something in my life and my OCD is freaking out. I’ve been dealing with anger a lot. I don’t know what it’s from, most likely trauma, but the older I get, the more angry I become. I’ve lashed out at people before and I hate that because I don’t want to make other people suffer because I am. So I’m trying to find ways to channel my anger and deal with it instead of lashing out while also not suppressing my emotions. I’m trying to find a healthy balance to deal with the emotion. Creativity (art, writing, music, etc.) can help with some emotions, but anger isn’t one of them. For some reason when I try these things with anger, I just get more angry. The best way I can describe it is that I feel small. I feel like I’m not being heard and I can’t accurate get out the emotion. One thing I’ve found that does work is physical activity. I’ve been recommended it before and I saw it listed as a way to deal with anger. It makes me feel a lot better. But my OCDs gotten a hold it it, and it’s basically saying if I need a physical release in order to deal with anger, then I must be a physical abuser and I’m at risk for hitting people. Basically, if I have to exercise to deal with anger, then I operate the same and have the same mind as someone who physically abuses people. The thought terrifies me and I genuinely can’t tell if that’s true. I’m so scared of what I’m feeling, I have no idea what to do.

Since we may never know if a memory is false and just our ocd or if it is real, how do we cope knowing it could be real? I just could never live with that😪 How do people just move on and be okay knowing that possibility? I have a false memory that’s based on a real event. Every time my ocd brings up the false memory it adds more evidence and more reasons to make it seem more real. It’s so painful and I don’t know what’s real and what’s my ocd wanting me to believe it’s real.

Ocd is clever. It’s clever at making you feel like if you worked this one thing out everything will be fine and great and as it was… what a lie. Just when you think you’ve solved one thing it’s straight onto the next , just when you think you’ve reached certainty it suddenly doesn’t matter anymore as something more urgent and important has come up… Ill always be a terrible person in my ocd mind. I thought I was over this issue but no…my mind has created another one, a more urgent and serious one. When will this end.

I have this constant need to look up gay couples on tiktok and look up coming out stories or like talks about sexuality being fluid. And I always end up getting triggered by something because it feels like I resonate with one person or more. And then everytime I calm down it feels like im “pushing myself more in the closet”. Why cant I be like all my other friends… and I specifically saw a video of a girl saying “yeah to the people saying I love my man but I cant feel attracted rn or i love him but hes the last/only man I loved : you’re lying and you’re gonna live a miserable life and at one point you’re gonna explode and you wont be able to fake it anymore.” And idk I RELATE TO THIS ughhhhh

OCD often makes me feel distant from God. I often feel unforgiven, unloved, and even hated. In my head I often view God as someone who hates me and who is always constantly disappointed in me. My relationship with him feels like an Obligation now more than a relationship. I’m always on the cusp of becoming an atheist, but I always draw myself back because I don’t want to give up my faith so fast, even if it’s been 4-5 years of living like this. I’m often at war with myself daily. There is never a day that I feel as though if I do one small thing whether it be buy something or eat something that I’m going to end up in eternal damnation. And even though I know it’s only OCD and it’s cognitive distortions, I still feel uneasy.

ever since last year when i was in my senior year of high school, i started to wipe down things when i’d return back from school. sometimes it would be my iPad (school issued), because i had touched it with greasy hands or when i had placed it somewhere “unsanitary”. i’d only do it once a week, or whenever i felt it was truly dirty in my mind. then i started cleaning my phone, when i saw dust or something get it on after returning to school. honestly, i don’t remember much after that so let’s fast forward. fast forward to around the beginnings of may, we had exams coming up and my best friend was coming over to stay the night and so we could study for exams. i remember that day i cleaned my room from top to bottom, and even when they had arrived i still continued to. i cleaned my phone off, and even their stuff a little. i even had to shower right after waking up, with them still at my house. i also remember prior a couple months to this i had started cleaning things around in my room because i hadn’t properly had my own room up until this year in january. a little later in may came my graduation, i was perfectly fine with people (this line is mostly referring to my parents) touching me, as i let my mother put a necklace on me that day. but, after i was graduated i was kind of stuck at home. so i cleaned stuff more regularly. i got a desk for my room, i built it, and i had to triple clean it in order for it to be clean to me. every month gradually got worse, and i found myself cleaning almost all the time. clorox wipes had become my best friend. and i found myself thinking that my own parents were contaminated. right now, i wish i could go back to may. may was way better, or i’d even go back to june, july, august, and maybe even september. right now i’ve been stuck at home for almost two months without leaving and leaving my thoughts to twirl around in my head. i have online college, and you would think that to distract me from my compulsions. but right now the situation got worse. last week i could go downstairs and sit on the couch (after cleaning it) and eat (then brush my teeth and clean my mouth) and be on my laptop and phone with no worries at all. now i find myself in my bed most hours of the day staying up until sunrise and not leaving to even go to the bathroom, or eat, until it is past 6pm. everything is dirty to me now, my room, my desk, my bed, my sheets, my parents, myself. even after showering, and scrubbing a million times, i’m never clean enough. i’m so scared, and sick of this feeling. and i have a very special event coming up this weekend that i don’t want to miss for anything in the world, i just don’t want to not feel clean for it. i just want my life back, my parents, my friends, my partner. me. i’m too young to have this horrible monster taking control of me, but i just can’t seem to ever find a way out.

I'm trying to find motivation, inspiration, a reason to start and get better. But everything I think of just gets shot down instantly in my head. Also, I've had so many bad experiences with professionals inside the healthcare system, not just for mental health but also physical health, that it has made me very critical of it, and as a consequence, I feel like OCD therapy is just rubbish. I feel my belief in healthcare has been stripped away, and therefore I don't feel anything can help me anymore. I'm bound to be walking with this forever. Throw in a lot of existential, meta, and nihilistic OCD views, and you have got my current situation. I have been thinking of maybe joining a church and becoming religious, maybe that will give me meaning? I hate that I don't find the meaning anymore from my 2 kids and wife, what is wrong with me? Been battling this disorder for 10 years now, but I feel it has come to the point where it has given me the ultimate insight, one that has shown me that I can never get out of it again because getting out of my current state is just something we as a society seem to think is normal. Who knows what is really normal? What if being anxious and passive and nihilistic is actually what we should be like? Another problem I'm facing is that I feel I've reached a point where I've tried everything and exhausted all knowledge, making it impossible to return to my unknowing self. I also have the idea or feeling that I've reached a state where I can no longer get enough motivation to make something of myself. I don't even know why I'm posting this message or doing anything at all. I think somewhere I hope that it can still go away or that things will get better. Even as I'm writing this right now, those doubtful thoughts are immediately surfacing again. Then I immediately feel feelings but also thoughts, and also just a kind of presence that says it doesn't matter and that everything is meaningless anyway, and that I know the truth of the universe and where the universe is just that nothing matters and that everything is flat, tasteless, and has no added value. All these thoughts keep going through my head.